first mentioned on a.r.k by Kibo, March 1998
Rumored to be genetically-engineered blocks of meat kept floating in tanks in Taco Bell. Someone described them on alt.folklore.urban and I thought they were a great idea.
From: email@example.com (James "Kibo" Parry) Subject: Re: Kibological cold cuts Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology, alt.folklore.urban, alt.mcdonalds.crew, rec.aquaria Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology Date: Wed, 25 Mar 1998 05:48:12 GMT X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 6507 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians [...] Soon McDonalds will simply refer to all their products as containing only the ingredient "McOid". It comes from Animal 57. In alt.folklore.urban, Jason Eudy (firstname.lastname@example.org) recently revealed the secret: -> [...] -> The only question I have is whether this qualifies as an urban legend -> or "just plain stupid:" -> -> Apparently, Pepsico owns the patent for something called "Animal 57s." -> They keep these things in the back of Taco Bells and KFCs. It's where -> they get their meat. These things are just big chunks of meat floating -> around in tanks of water. If you tap on the side or stare at them, -> they'll come toward you. Apparently a living organism that's used for -> nothing but its meat (because that's all it is). Our local Taco Bell has one of those clear cylindrical tanks where you're supposed to look through the distorting sides and drop a nickel or larger into the top (you're not allowed to donate pennies as it's for a greedy charity) and if it lands on the tiny invisible Plexiglass protrusion that has high-pressure bubble jets spraying upwards out of it at all times, you win a free Cinnamon Twist. (Not an order of Cinnamon Twists, a Cinnamon Twist.) Now, if we skip for a moment the discussion possibilities in the ingredients of Cinnamon Twists (air, artificial cinnamon) think about this mysterious clear tank, with an adequate air supply, which serves no purpose other than to let you put money you don't want into it. I think it's one of the Animal 57 'quaria. So what I'd like to ask rec.aquaria is, is anyone keeping an Animal 57 in their home? I'd like to get one, 'cause at work they have this thing that looks just like a piranha except he's that other fish that looks just like a piranha but is really friendly. And I want to have something cooler. I think an Animal 57, which comes towards you if you stare at it 'cause it's telepathic and can also be made into tacos, would be cool. -- K. I wonder what Animals 1 to 56 were?
Portrait of Animal 57, drawn by Kibo.
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