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Of the 1700 entries in my vast bookmark file, these are some of my favorites. The other 1600 suck.
Jump to any of the following sections by clicking these links, or scroll down:
Food, Drink, & Pond Scum
Science Beyond Science
Note: These links were compiled a year ago and probably at least half of them point to sites that died because nobody loved them. So don't blame me if some of them don't go anywhere.
I'm currently working on something which will be a vast improvement over these pages of antique links.
Orbitz: like flat Alka-Seltzer with lumps.
Krank2o is caffeinated water!
Zima. Zay it zucks.
The Freshest World of Mentos. Look in the art gallery for the picture of Hitler. (I didn't put it there.)
Too bad Necco doesn't have a page of their own. (They're located in the middle of MIT, for cryin' out loud!) The National Candy Brokers Association wants all candy companies to have a Web page. Let's hear it for the NCBA's valiant efforts to coax Necco into the twentieth century.
Actual quote from the Spam site: "Hormel Foods would not knowingly sponsor anyone who sends unsolicited e-mail." (Of course, they reserve the right to unknowingly do so.)
How IDRC is building a better banana, code-named Goldfinger.
Trader Joe's has a simple philosophy: People want to buy natural foods from stores staffed by people who grease up their hair every morning. (The "faux quaint" logo says it all.) I know someone who actually likes their "Chunky Aloe Vera Beverage". Nobody likes their thirty-cents-a-can Lavoris-flavored knockoff of Dr Pepper called "Dr. Joe's". (Some of their frozen food is pretty good.) Just about everything in the store sells for $2.01 to $2.99.
Mike's Meat Collection.
An official Dr Pepper site but not the official Dr Pepper site. "We believe in sugar!"
The official Dr Pepper site, but it's really really really really lame. It wants so hard for you to wuv it. They even have a Dr Pepper screensaver you can download.
Pez! Pez! Pez! Pez! Pez! The first site has a list of every flavor ever. The second has scary Pez dispensers. The third is a museum you can visit on-line or in person. (Many other Pez collectors have pages elsewhere.)
Trilobite cookies; they look like rock-hard fossils of things you wouldn't eat even if they hadn't been dead for a gazillion years. And they're cute.
The original Tetra Pak containers are the best things to put beverages in if you want people to say "I couldn't put it down!"
Chef Boyardee's site for the creepy MMMMM, BEEFY!!!! commercials.
CAUTION: THIS SECTION IS THE DURIAN ZONE
Durian News Gallery (lots of wonderful stuff, including recipes and photos). The second link is a "No Durians Allowed" sign from Singapore.
Durian OnLine. Lots of stuff. Watch out for the endangered fake durian: "The fruits resemble durians but contain irritant hairs instead of creamy, yellow flesh of the true durian!"
Durian World. Has an interestingly baffling cartoon showing a guy being covered with them.
WOW! Creepy smiling cartoon durians named Si Dur! Durians are "exotic smelling". The page has sections like "Durian Goodness" and describes the different varieties. Has a comment form, links, and even a sense of humor! I hope they finish the rest of it.
Look around this site for "The Art Of Stacking Durian", "The Open-a-Durian Man" and the durian car. Says they taste "lubley". "This one's a bit small: Throw it back, no tiddlers allowed!"
Durian, King of Fruit! The funniest and most concise article in the bunch. Describes them beautifully. Claims every tree's fruit is said to taste different (eeeeeugh).
With all the important words like "the stink" in bold! Claims Thai ones are good and they taste bad if grown elsewhere.
"Have a durian party!" 717 Trading (Singapore) will deliver durians to you if you fill out an on-line form! This gives me an idea for a very evil practical joke...
Very brief. "Locals say it smells like heaven, most foreigners say it smells like hell."
Another Malaysian page on the greatness of durian. Talks about the trees.
Singapore's official web site has this brief page that says that everyone in Singapore loves the "heaty" durian.
Varieties of Thai durian. In Thai, "durian" is "too-rian". "The fruit ready for eating must have a good smell."
Info on Malaysian durian clone strains. THEY'VE CLONED DURIANS, RUN!!!!
Bao Sheng durian plantation, Malaysia. Has photos of many winners of the Champion Durian competition: I'd hate to see the losers. They offer tours!
Dodol is a jelly made from durians. Tan Kim Hock sells it in little tetrahedra. It's something people would take to other planets.
Has an interview with an actual durian lover, how to grow one, how to choose one, etc.
Daniel Eats Durian Fruit.
Pan Shou's Chinese calligraphy: a poem about durians to accompany a painting by Chen Chong Swee.
The US government's terse description of durians. "Comments: Host for mealy bugs."
Hyper-Weirdness by World Wide Web, and other fun stuff. Dares to claim Doctress Neutopia spells her name wrong. Hyper-Weirdness seems to have not been updated since late 1995, but some of the links still work.
American Science & Surplus will sell you all the parts you need to make monsters in your basement.
A page dedicated to the writings of John_-_Winston, one of alt.religion.kibology's best friends. Has some nice photos. Mr. _-_Winston is a swell guy. He has a telepathic dog named Yogi and knows Bigfoot personally. (He used to post from Portal, which assigned him the middle initial "_-_", and we're still teasing him about it.)
Archimedes Plutonium (formerly Ludwig Plutonium), one of the few alt.sci.physics.new-theories posters to have a functioning sense of humor. His page has quite a few color photos of all sorts of things.
Mike Bent, Boy Scientist. One of Kibo's mentors, from whom Kibo learned the ten embarassing mistakes comedians can make. You can see him performing standup, usually in the Northeast. He's great, and available for kids' parties.
Joel's Gizmonic Antsite. The creator of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Joel Hodgson left to write for... The Paula Poundstone Show? Anyway, these are his ants. Click on them to encourage them to eventually add a feature to this site.
Anders Sandberg's Mad Scientist Page. Has a ton of mad links. And geometric icons that look real sharp and pointy. Maybe sharper than I'm allowed to have.
Usenet Kook of the Month awards. Why do I never win?
Donna Kossy's Kooks Museum. Take a tour. Take the kook's tour.
Archive of Usenet postings by Robert E. McElwaine, the Internet's foremost Eckankarist. Loads of good links.
School Sucks is a site dedicated to the free exchange of research papers (i.e. cheating.) Before you judge them, read the paper at
The terrifying destructiveness of Strawberry Pop-Tarts.
Science experiments you can do with Mommy's microwave oven. Claim it just broke all by itself. Has links to several more microwave science fun sites.
TETET-95 & TETET-96. About evil faces on Mars and the bees that made the pyramids, or something.
Alex Chiu's instructions on how to make a teleporter. The clear diagrams help.
Ultrasonic Terror Gives Human Clones! Quick, hide from the ultrasonic terror that could clone you at any second!
If Kibo didn't hate hockey, this would be his favorite team, the HPK: Hockey Playing Knights (Hämeen Parasta Kiekkoa.) Why? It's because their emblem looks like Boba Fett.
The Borderland of Science: Links that go beyond the beyond! (Some German text, but most of the links go to English pages.)
Do you think political science isn't a science? If so, then go to The Founding Fathers and let Thomas Jefferson himself give you a stern talking-to in Chick-tract-like cartoon form! See George Washington help the children of gay parents find a homocure! Hear Ben Franklin tell off Jack Kevorkian! This site's creator obviously spent a lot of time on it.
Learn about how AT&T's Lucent (aka Bell Labs) not only invented the telephone... they work for Satan! Poke around on the site for other important information.
Farsighted Vannevar Bush invented the Web over fifty years ago. He called it the "Memex". (Not to be confused with Gene Roddenberry's "Memorator".)
See Dr. Carl Sagan's jacket evolve from a single-celled organism to a tan blazer!
The definitive research paper on glowing pickles. By the way, they smell awful. And use dill, don't try sweet pickles.
Hannu's five-year-old daughter Hanna-Maria drew pictures of the space potato. Compare to the diagram of the glowing pickle.
Scary site of the week. Not this one, the one it lists. Well, this one too.
Cruel site of the day. Seven times crueler than the above is scary!
Mirsky's Worst of the Web. Unfortunately no longer updated. All the links are expiring before your very eyes. It used to be great fun to watch people go ballistic when their sites started getting huge numbers of hits and then they found out 90% of them were people coming from this site.
"Sites By Keyword: Pointless"
1997 in review, with all the non-stupid events skipped. A terrifying look at the bozosity of our society. Unfortunately, no longer updated after the first 117 entries.
D. T.'s Datebook, with celebrity deaths, disasters, and TV premieres throughout history! Amazingly comprehensive.
Fantastic works of fiction by Mr. Eisenmann's fourth-grade class at Groveland Elementary School. I wish I could write like this. So free and surreal, yet so concise! Then I would be President. THE END
Bad radio. Bad, bad radio. Go home, bad radio!
Who says performance art has to be boring and insipid? If Tokyo's Shock Boys don't get you up off your chair, nothing will! Quote: "The most painful stunts involve fireworks. In 1994 Danna burnt his left nipple completely off while on stage in Japan. 'But now it's okay,' says Danna, 'it grew back. Please check!.'"
The one and only Museum of Bad Art, unless you count the Salvation Army.
Giant Robot is the coolest magazine ever. The latest issue I read had an article on the topic of GWAR members rating different brands of Chinese hot sauce. And a visit to Ultramanland. Apparently Asian-American culture is more fun than mine.
T!H!E!!! N!A!T!I!O!N!A!L!!! E!N!Q!... oh, hell with it.
Official Sanrio (Hello Kitty, etc.) page (English version).
Have an interactive tea party with Hello Kitty!
Keroppi's world tour!
Stephanie's Cyber-Fun has various Sanrio and Sanrio-esque thingies.
Dermatology for movie buffs, or vice versa.
Car Antenna Pierces Man's Brain.
Scientific proof that bodypaint makes you not nude. Bear this in mind in case you need it in court. Actual quote (the typo is theirs): "What does it say of our perception of the human body when a thin coat of pain is adequate covering of the body for TV and magazines ?"
Unless I'm lying, this is the Internet Fish Stories page.
An ad for Roadkill Bingo, a wacky fun board game that's fun even during a war!
Urticus's History of Torture.
Answers the question "How do balloons pop?" but not my important question, "Why is it that I have an urge to pop every one I see?" (And you know those black breathing bags that inflate and deflate while you're in surgery? I have an urge to squeeze those.)
International MPEG Bizarre 1st Film Festival.
RPI Drop Squad. I went to Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, and I dropped lots of stuff down this same stairway (mostly for the EMAD egg drop project), but I wasn't in this elite club. They have a QuickTime video with audio that just screams "MY VU METER IS PINNED!"
Masonic clip-art. You will not understand these unless you're a brother. They're secret.
Official Lego site. Lego is a registered trademark of Lego® which is a registered trademark of Lego®®.
I can't describe it, but after going here, I feel like I just missed Christmas because I was watching the best episode of "Pee-wee's Playhouse" ever made. Yay!
The Fridge has lots of text which might be useful if I could read Dutch. I like going here just to look at the icons.
Sir, I knew BIFF. I worked with BIFF. You, Sir, are too smart to be BIFF.
Need more bugs for your boss's computer? Buy bugs here! Planet Natural (formerly Bozeman Bio-Tech) will sell you 2,000 ladybugs for $7.50... or a gallon (72,000) for $67.00. Praying mantises cost more, but they're worth every penny!
The Big Dig. Learn how digging up all of downtown Boston and rebuilding the whole city is not only possible by 2004 but is also better than sliced bread. The map legend "Downtown Boston: replace six-lane elevated road with ten-lane underground expressway" means "This is where Boston Garden used to be."
"Hacking", at MIT, does not have anything to do with computer programming or computer security. Rather, it refers to two things: (a) pranks, usually those involving welding equipment, and (b) the exhilarating sport of sneaking through buildings by crawling through air ducts while not being shredded by the giant whirling fans at the end. (I cut my lip in one of those ducts. Not on the fan.)
"Hostile Java Applets". But I thought all Java applets were hostile.
Norse runes? Morse code? No, nurse code!
Pangea Toy Network is like CNN, only they bring you up-to-the-minute news flashes about Beanie Babies.
Scott LaRoche's wonderland of magical delights, including the awe-inspiring SFOIDF (Strange Foreign Objects In Dog Feces) page! Bravo! Bravo!
Scott Pakin's Automatic Complaint Letter Generator.
Subway navigator covering many cities around the world. Could be useful, especially if you're travelling from Buenos Aires to Stockholm by subway. Waah, Moscow's missing.
Some brief computer-animated MPEGs showing what it would be like to orbit a black hole or neutron star if it had the Earth's continents painted on it.
Wordz is the only dictionary where all the definitions are made up by the users as they go along.
I no longer have the balls to make fun of this site.
Civil Defense Signs that you should learn so you can find the fallout shelter faster.
Every state highway sign is a different shape from every other. If you count the word "Illinois" that keeps it from being the same as Massachusetts.
Hall of Diabolique. If you have to ask, you don't know. After reading up on Margot Kidder, look closely at the credits of the last movie before her "event", Never Met Picasso.
Gunge in the U.K. almost makes me wish I lived in England. How come nobody in the U.S.A. knows the word "gunge"? It's a perfectly useful term for what should be an everyday event!
Inflatable sheep are overrated as novelty gag gifts. Unless they're real.
Remember when Carson used to play "Stump the Band"? It takes on a new meaning at Medical Bag: Stump Fever.
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November 18, 1999
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