-- Look For The Slanted Bacon --
The diagonal bacon is the mark of quality! Scratch'n'sniff our yummy logo! From ice cream to shampoo, you know it's a quality product if the label smells like bacon!
-- Prices Too Good To Be True --
At Kibo's Imaginary Supermarket, you always get more than you pay for! Why pay the exorbitant prices of other imaginary supermarkets when you can get a better imaginary deal with us? Our spacious, well-lighted aisles are neatly stocked with over 500,000 different items, all of which taste wonderful, and many of which are not available anywhere.
-- We Know Where You Are --
We have over 65,535 convenient locations, including one less than 50 feet from where you live.
-- A Tradition Of Progress --
We use the most modern supermarket technology. Our shelves are continuously restocked by superintelligent robots which are always rearranging all the items in the order they predict will be most convenient that day!
-- Your Wallet Will Explode With Coupons --
Other markets have double coupons, but we offer three-ply coupons! We even have new perforated half-coupons so that you can redeem some the coupon now, and save the other half until you buy the other half of the can of peas!
-- Meat So Fresh It's Still Mooing --
Our meat department is stocked with every possible cross-section of every known animal (living or extinct) and our exclusive Caricature Butcher will cut your steaks shaped like your favorite celebrity's face! And for vegetarians, we offer a similar service -- we'll cut a steak shaped like your worst enemy's face!
-- Astonishing Lack Of Botulism --
And best of all, our floors are so clean you could eat off them! To prove it, we rub all our produce on the floor every day!
|RETURN TO KIBO'S CRAN-TASTIC UTOPIA|
|James "Kibo" Parryfirstname.lastname@example.org||last revised December 10, 2001|
|Web site contents & design: Copyright © 1997 - 2017 James "Kibo" Parry, all rights reserved.|