Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Toilet row in Turkey leaves one man dead
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 06:35:03 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
In article (Qturkey-toiletURNZz_9lD.X@clari.net), AFP (C-afp@clari.net) wrote:
>
> Subject: Toilet row in Turkey leaves one man dead
I would just like to say that this demonstrates a corollary to my
long-standing principle that wire-service articles never live up
to their wacky headlines. The corrolary: They never live up to
their Message-ID strings.
I mean, "Q TURKEY TOILET URNZZ 9LDX" sounds like what would happen
if Manley Hubbell wrote for "South Park".
(But what about vice versa?)
> ISTANBUL, July 13 (AFP) - A cafe owner in Turkey shot and killed
> a customer who wanted to use the toilet, the Anatolia news agency
> reported Tuesday.
Now, see, the subject line suggested that there was a massive row of
toilets and someone knocked one over and they all fell over like dominos
and killed some guy through the use of deadly force transmitted by
colliding toilets.
> Ibrahim Kucuk asked the owner of the Dodurgalilar coffehouse in
> Incirliova near Aydin in western Turkey to use the restroom, but the
> owner refused, saying he did not want smells in his toilet, the
> agency said.
Oh, yeah, god forbid there's a smelly toilet anywhere in Turkey.
> Enraged by the ensuing discussion with his customer, the owner,
> identified by his initials A.D., drew a revolver and shot Kucuk, who
> died in hospital.
> A.D. was arrested after the shooting, Anatolia reported.
I'm tired of Andy Dick's crime spree. Can't Dave Foley get arrested for
something?
-- K.
Preferably something unrelated to his cross-dressing.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Keebler recalling sandwich cookies
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 06:40:40 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
All major media outlets everywhere are now informing everyone at all times:
>
> ELMHURST, Ill., July 12 (UPI) -- Keebler Co. is recalling 500 cases of
> E.L. Fudge butter flavored sandwich cookies because peanut butter may
> have been substituted for the fudge filling.
...a clear violation of Keebler's standards, which mandate that fudge
should only be imitated by brown squishy stuff that _isn't_ healthy.
-- K.
BY THAT I MIGHT MEAN ELF POOP.
OR I MIGHT JUST MEAN ANTI-CAROB
FROM THE BACKWARDS UNIVERSE
WHERE HEALTH FOOD KILLS PEOPLE.
WITH MACHINE GUNS!!!
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: DOOD AM I LUCKY!
User-Agent: MacSOUP/2.4 (unregistered for 204 days)
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 21:44:57 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
Leah Verre (leahv@humongous.com) wrote:
>
> Hey, check THIS out:
> I just found out that the hotel I'll be staying at next week in Kauaii
> has WEB TV in EVERY ROOM!
>
> Sunsets? Swimming? Hiking? Snorkelling? WHO NEEDS ALL THAT CRAP
> WHEN YOU'VE GOT WEB TV IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM?!?!
>
> DOOOD!!!
What makes this cool is that the rooms don't have a TV.
Besides, I'm sure they'd let you take the WebTV snorkeling if you wanted.
-- K.
I'm really only making
this post to see if
this offline newsreader
works.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: DOOD AM I LUCKY!
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 23:54:54 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
Matt McIrvin (mmcirvin@world.std.com) wrote:
>
> [...]
>
> Of course, this is the part where I mourn the passing of so many funky
> little independent bookstores in Cambridge at the expense of these big
> chains, and put in another plug for McIntyre and Moore's used books, only
> I don't know if they're still open. They used to be between Harvard and
> Central Square, and they had a mind-boggling collection of used scientific
> books.
>
> That was where I found a nearly untouched copy of Misner, Thorne and
> Wheeler's _Gravitation_ for something like $25. I do not usually get so
> excited about bargains, but there are bargains and there are BARGAINS.
> MTW is a phone-book-sized textbook about the general theory of relativity,
> and all those pages contain content rather than the usual padding that you
> see in giant books about HTML. It has its oddities and faults, but is one
> of the great frequently-cited classics of physics; it usually runs for
> maybe $75-$90 new, and used copies of it are pretty hard to find.
Ha! I bought my copy for $24, from this nice little man in a homemade cape.
It's in mint condition -- it has "PLUTONIUM" written on the bottom
edge, but it's clear that it's never been opened.
Also, don't you get a copy of it for free whenever you join the Scientific
American Book Club during the 1980s? Of course, if you can travel in time,
you probably don't care about some silly baby book about gravity. GRAVITY
IS BORING! IT ALWAYS GOES DOWN! Now, snow, that's more fun. Sometimes
it goes down, sometimes it goes diagonally, and sometimes it goes UP YOUR NOSE!
-- K.
Or is that 7-Up?
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Poutine!!!
User-Agent: MacSOUP/2.4 (unregistered for 204 days)
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 22:21:25 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
Simon de Vet (sdevet@istar.ca) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > And even if you want a deep-fried cartoon possum, don't order a "Pogo".
> > It's not what you think. IT'S JUST BORING AMERICAN FOOD WITH A SILLY NAME!
>
> Pogo is the Canadian Mentos.
>
> Commercial:
>
> Mom: Hey! Would you like some Pogo's?
> Kids: Isn't that game they played in the olden days?
> Announcer: It's Pogo! The deep fried weiner on a stick.
> Kids: These are great! You're the best mom!
> Mom: [knowing smile]
>
> The End.
What? You mean they can no longer play the game of "pogo" like in the
olden-timey days, just because they can't have it be both a corn dog
AND a game? I think I like America better than Canada because here we're
allowed to play with pogo sticks. I need to buy one and ride it to work every
day because that would be a smoother ride than the #66 bus.
I still need to tell you folks about my trip to MontrŽal, when I have time.
For now, let me just say --
HEY ETIENNE, THEY RIPPED US OFF AT THE BIODïME! THEY MADE US PAY TO SEE THE
BEAVER! OVER AT THE BIOSPHéRE THERE WAS A BEAVER WALKING AROUND FOR FREE!
-- K.
I apologize for putting a
bunch of silly accent marks
in this article, but QuebŽc
law requires every word to
have at least one...
...EXCEPT FOR "POUTINE"!!!
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Poutine!!!
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1999 04:05:06 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
David Marshburn (marshbur@cs.unc.edu) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Poutine really tastes good, provided you get it without the cheese.
>
> I wish you to know that I have had the syllables "POO-TEEN"
> running through my head for the past two days.
If there was a cereal called "Poutine-Weet" and you had that in your head
for two days, you could be the little bird at the end of a Vonnegut novel.
I HEREBY CLAIM COPYRIGHT ON THAT SENTENCE UNLESS YOU CAN PROVE SOMEONE
ELSE ALREADY SAID IT!
-- K.
Also, be sure your poutine,
if with cheese, has cheese curds,
and not the similar cheese cruds.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Poutine!!!
User-Agent: MacSOUP/2.4 (unregistered for 204 days)
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 22:21:29 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
Etienne Rouette (etienne.rouette@sympatico.ca) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) a Žcrit:
> >
> > Poutine is gravy poured over french fries and lumps of cheese.
> > The cheese is the threatening part. AVOID CHEESE. CHEESE IS EVIL.
> >
> > There are five variants of French Fries in French Canada:
> >
> > * patatas frites
> >
> > * patatas frites avec sauce
> >
> > * patatas frites avec sauce italienne
>
> Hey it's "patates", M. Tte de Patate.
Sorry, I was confusing my Spanish with French again to make up wacky
new words. (In Spanish they're "papas fritas", not to be confused
with "pap‡s fritas" which would be funnier. Mmm, deep-fried parents!)
> > * poutine
> >
> > * poutine avec sauce italienne
>
> Fransesco Benvenuto will now explain "poutine avec sauce italienne".
I just want someone to explain why they can say "sauce" without
The Language Police arresting them for using an English word.
Without making it half the font size of the French words.
> > Also, when you buy a ready-made pizza in a French-Canadian
> > supermarket, it never ever has cheese on or near it. Hooray!!!
>
> Except when it has. Maybe you didn't recognize it when you saw it, because
> it doesn't correspond to what, as an American, your conception of pizza is.
> Or maybe it's just because you went at Loblaws, which is not even a
> French-Canadian supermarket.
Hey, the Parc Loblaws was fully Frenchified -- all the bilingual signs
had the English in half-size lettering -- although I did notice that
they couldn't decide whether "President's Choice", in French, should
be abbreviated "P.C." or "C.P." ("Choix du President") as it varied
from sign to sign.
But at the deli they had a rack of shrink-wrapped room-temperature
pizzas, and none of 'em had any cheese! There were even pizza kits
consisting of a crust and a packet of tomato sauce. Excuse me,
AVEC SAUCE ITALIENNE.
> > I'm told poutine was invented by accident. I thought that was obvious...
>
> The whole debate being: was it invented in Victoriaville or Drumondville?
Yes, but the point is: FRENCH FRIES WEREN'T INVENTED IN CANADA! THEY
WERE INVENTED IN EITHER BUFFALO OR NEW YORK CITY! SO STOP WITH THE
POUTINE ALREADY, YOU'RE VIOLATING THE AMERICAN PATENT ON FRENCH FRIES!!!
> > P.S. The secret ingredient in Quebec's favorite dessert (sugar pie)
> > is sugar.
>
> And it is not fake apple pie with cinnamon as the only ingredient you can
> taste, because Americans expect apple pie to taste like cinnamon (although
> it does look like it).
It's just what we call "butterscotch pudding" here in the U.S. It was
weird that the supermarket had equal quantities of chocolate, vanilla,
and butterscotch in the pudding aisle. Butterscotch should not be
given equality with the actual flavors that have ingredients other
than sugar.
-- K.
I like how they forbid you from
having only English on your store's
signs, but it's okay to have
only French with all the accent
marks missing. IF YOU TAKE OFF
THE ACCENT MARKS IT'S NOT EVEN
FRENCH! IT'S JUST ESPERANTO!!!
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Poutine!!!
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 00:12:33 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
Francesco Benvenuto (fbenv@iol.it) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > Etienne Rouette (etienne.rouette@sympatico.ca) wrote:
> > >
> > > Fransesco Benvenuto will now explain "poutine avec sauce italienne".
>
> My name is not funny unless misspelled by a native English speaker:
> you are not funny, Etienne P. Rouette.
But native English speakers, at least those of us who speak American English,
ain't bright enough to be able to misspell stuff!!! They don't teach how
to misspell things in our lousy schools! They just teach about sex and
drugs and stuff!
> I am still puzzled by an unknown substance I encountered twenty
> years ago in the U.S., mysteriously named "Italian Dressing" and
> which USAians apparently poured generously on their salads (they
> had other mixtures as well but at least they had the decency not
> to call those "Italian").
>
> In Italy we have specially trained humans who can mix salt, vinegar
> and olive oil in the correct proportions.
Ah, but can they make Lite Italian and Creamy Italian and Lite Creamy Italian?
What about Zesty Italian?
> As to which particular sauce would have the doubtful honor to
> be doomed "Italian" I am at a complete loss; since no American
> would be so stupid as to call "Italian" any tomato-based sauce.
>
> > consisting of a crust and a packet of tomato sauce. Excuse me,
> > AVEC SAUCE ITALIENNE.
>
> *Boggle*
>
> A "packet" of tomato sauce?
>
> And you are supposed to use peeled tomatoes on pizza (if you use
> tomatoes at all, which you almost always do) not sauce.
But tomatoes are icky. They've got guts and skins and stuff.
The only thing to do with them is to put them in a blender until the
guts disappear. Or just buy V-8. V-8 on Wonder Bread makes really
good pizza as long as you use Cheez Whiz and not some FAKE cheese.
-- K.
Not that I'd know what Cheez Whiz
tastes like. I assume it's like
cheese plus whiz.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Poutine!!!
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1999 04:10:10 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
Joseph Michael Bay (jmbay@leland.Stanford.EDU) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) writes:
> >
> > Sorry, I was confusing my Spanish with French again to make up wacky
> > new words. (In Spanish they're "papas fritas", not to be confused
> > with "papa/s fritas" which would be funnier. Mmm, deep-fried parents!)
>
> Not funnier than deep-fried popes, I'm afraid.
Today on "Jep!" (the "hip" teenage version of "Jeopardy!") one of the
clues was a picture of the Pope captioned "IT'S THE RELIGION OF THIS MAN."
A girl buzzed in and said "What is Christianity?" and the host said
"That is INCORRECT!" and her seat retracted. The person to her left
rang in and asked, "What is Catholic?" and won because everyone knows
Catholics aren't Christians.
Jeez, these game shows for kids are REALLY badly-made. Don't get me started
on a reprise of my rant about "Click!" starring Ryan Seacrest.
-- K.
Before he changed it his name
was Ryan Battlestargalaqtiqa.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Poutine!!!
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1999 02:03:09 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
Etienne Rouette (etienne.rouette@sympatico.ca) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry a Žcrit:
> >
> >
> > Also, when you buy a ready-made pizza in a French-Canadian
> > supermarket, it never ever has cheese on or near it. Hooray!!!
>
> Except when it has. Maybe you didn't recognize it when you saw it, because
> it doesn't correspond to what, as an American, your conception of pizza is.
> Or maybe it's just because you went at Loblaws, which is not even a
> French-Canadian supermarket.
I have been informed that I had wandered into the special "THIS SECTION
HAS NO CHEESE FOR PEOPLE WITH ALLERGIES" section that that Loblaws has.
Apparently I did not see the sign because I can't read anything that's
bilingual.
> > Later I'll tell you about how I visited one of the actual alien planets
> > that the Battlestar Galactica went to. (Unfortunately they've rebuilt
> > it after it burned.)
>
> And the other place you went to would be the equivalent of the planet with
> the insectoids where they went to in the pilot, except it's just an
> ex-French exhibit instead of being a planet. And there were no insectoids.
> And it only involved silly money with funny colors and, "someone who looked
> like Queen Elizabeth but 50 years younger".
By the way, Etienne, did you notice that the whole time we were in the
Biod™me, I never once said, "HEY! WHERE'S PAULY SHORE???" in either
English or Canadian?
-- K.
I apologize for following up to Etienne's
post twice, but that's because I have
too many newsfeeds.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Poutine!!!
User-Agent: MacSOUP/2.4 (unregistered for 204 days)
Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 22:21:31 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
"Poot Rootbeer" wrote:
>
> Fun fact: in many of the diners of central and northern NJ, poutine
> is known as "Disco Fries".
Poutine has invaded the U.S.?
Well, just for that, we'll have to send Canada something that we
have in New Jersey. Does Bob Hope live in New Jersey?
-- K.
Joe Piscopo?
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.battlestar-galactica
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: USE OF SATELLITES FOR MIND CONTROL
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1999 03:25:13 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
In alt.journalism.print, alt.journalism.objective, alt.org.food-not-bombs, alt.politics.org.cia, and sci.physics.particle,
Carol Paliwoda (capaliwoda@netzero.net) babbled:
>
> USE OF SATELLITES FOR MIND CONTROL
> 7-15-99
>
> It is a certainty, after a period of observation, that
the pot fails to boil unless I turn on the stove. In my stove
> there are satellites (or space stations of some kind)
that have a glowing red defense screen that burns my hands. They're
> poised over U.S. territory with a mind control capability,
and a convenient drawstring bag for storage, like the one I sleep in,
> aiming broad beams of some type of radiation (through
the generous support of PBS viewers like Y-O-U, and drunken hippies on
> roofs of buildings). The persons who have targeted me
obviously didn't buy "Scientific American's" mailing list. Cicadas humming
> with tortures and harassments for 26 years are definitely
annoying, except in comparison to Pauly Shore. He likes to spit,
> aiming from an overhead source. Radiation levels drop off
and sometimes GO OVER and are disqualified from the FABULOUS SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN
> around the periphery of the building (my house). At times
dollar sign equals schwa dot com. My laser is so misadjusted that
> the beam is about the width of half a city block. It is
a bird! It is a plane! It is MAN WHO CAN'T MAKE CONTRACTIONS, on a mission most
> urgent to develop a means of knocking these illegal
knockoffs of "Battlestar Galactica" off the airwaves they're on, via
> communications satellites or stations out of orbit, for the
express purpose of filling up this line of text DOO-DOO-DOOT-DOOT. The
> safety of the people of the United States (and wherever else
people who live in the Unites States might live) is overrated
> in the world they may be deployed to threaten native
music before David Byrne can co-opt it. The sensuous census measures erotic
> populations). It is preferable to permanently destroy any
nuclear weapons by blowing them up with dynamite. Try their new
> capability they may have to harass populations by knocking
chicken gravy onto cheese fries to invent poutine or otherwise gross
> them out with explosive warheads, because no positive or
negative particles can be detected in Spam, made only of neutrons, no other
> legal use for them exists. They have been used to commit
Spamwiches and poutine against United States citizens, not to mention
> belligerent acts of war against peaceful citizens like
Mister Rogers, Doug Henning, Ed Begley Jr., Yoko Ono, and
> myself. I am unable to say for certain who is directing
all these teen sex comedies they show on my TV when it's turned off, from
> these satellites, but they are very belligerent and have
given Don Adams a superintelligent shoe computer, which has
> the sole intent of politically dominating the United
Nations once their manifesto is translated to Esperanto. I live in altered
> States (and probably other countries), wiping out foes
leaving behind nothing but the sparkle. DING! <--Loud sparkle! Now
> with torture and terrorization. The persons running
my refrigerator keep making me catch it, which is HARD! Kenmore makes
> these apparatuses profess a Nazi-type philosophy, have
ice cube trays that leak, especially in bed, not that I have
> an amoral mentality, and condone slavery. The citizens
of McDonaldland all speak McEsperanto, and plan a very cheap invasion
> of the United States (and also the world at large) must
be forced to eat Spamburgers and McPoutine. Illuminated menus will help you
> be informed of this threat from above. Look into
the bottom of your Happy Meal box to find a FREE piece of
> Star Wars -type weaponry. Whoever these persons are,
they haven't yet realized that I mentioned "Battlestar Galactica" and
Ed Begley Jr. earlier in this article and I CAN NO LONGER RESIST THE URGE
TO POINT OUT THAT HE PLAYED "ENSIGN GREENBEAN" ON "GALACTICA" AND THE NEW
"GALACTICA" MOVIE'S GONNA SUCK IF ENSIGN GREENBEAN'S NOT IN IT! I apologize
for the interruption, and now back to the psychotic blather. Because
> they are opposed to the basic intent of law and the
Cylon takeover of McDonaldland, where food tastes like the original copy of the
> Constitution of the United States. They are enemies of
people with taste buds, and also people with tasteless buds, in
> any democratic system or self-determination of native
ity scenes showing Ronald McDonald being born in a major before shocked
> populations, whether the threat is external or internal
use only, you can't buy a stronger poutine without a prescription.
> (some sort of infiltration of normal government
> processes).
THE END!!!!
Actually, there was a lot more, but it was kind of goofy.
-- K.
THEY BETTER BRING ENSIGN GREENBEAN BACK!!!
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.battlestar-galactica
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: USE OF SATELLITES FOR MIND CONTROL
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 23:47:25 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
Jim Heckman (jheckman@my-deja.com) wrote:
>
> (1) Are you sure Ronald McDonald's nativity wasn't in a "manger", not a
> "major"?
I have no idea how I typed "major" for "manger". I definitely wanted to
type "manger". All I can think of is that an "I Dream Of Jeannie" TV-movie
featuring an elderly Barbara Eden was on my TV and that may have accounted
for it.
> (2) You really should define "poutine" for all the poor, deprived
> non-quŽbŽcois out there...
Nobody can define poutine. If anyone ever figures out what's in it,
it changes to something else. And if you understand THAT, then
YOUR BRAIN EXPLODES!!!
-- K.
So, for your own good,
DON'T THINK ABOUT POUTINE!
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: misc.legal,alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Why we need caps on lawsuits
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1999 03:28:31 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
Followup-To: alt.religion.kibology
In misc.legal, Ted Frank (moe@Radix.Net) wrote:
>
> Subject: Re: Why we need caps on lawsuits
I AGREE WE DEFINITELY NEED LOTS OF CAPS IN LAWSUITS BECAUSE THE JUDGE
WILL TAKE THEM MORE SERIOUSLY IF YOU USE LOTS OF CAPITALS TO MAKE
YOUR COMPLAINT LOOK IMPORTANT!!!
> [...]
>
> Punishment is made against bank robbers not based on whether or not they
> considered the wrongfulness of the action, but because robbing banks
> has no positive value to society and should be deterred.
What? That TV show that Faye Dunaway produced for UBS doesn't count
as a positive value? Shame on you for neglecting that famous example
of fictional fiction! It's one of my favorite imaginary TV shows,
movies, and/or smellovision holograms!
-- K.
Along with all of Archimedes
Plutonium's action movies!
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: talk.religion.misc,talk.philosophy.misc,alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: 8JUL99 movie "Transition Period" Reincarnation Experiental Re: Archimedes Plutonium visiting the world great scientists
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1999 03:50:04 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
Followup-To: alt.sci.physics.plutonium
In talk.religion.misc and talk.philosophy.misc,
Archimedes Plutonium (archimedes_plutonium@my-deja.com) replied to himself:
>
> Archimedes Plutonium (Arc_Plutonium@hotmail.com) writes:
> >
> > $13,118
...a number so large it takes to E-mail addresses to post it.
> Well, today I am a proud owner of a new Toyota pickup. I am glad for
> the Web for it provided me with all the basic information.
Except about science.
> The Web is transforming the way in which we buy and sell cars and vehicles.
> If you do your homework first, by using the Web on the Toyota official site,
> the interaction between the buyer (me) and the salesman is facilitated.
Why should I use Toyota's Web site to make shopping easier for you?
I'd rather make it easier for me.
Of course, buying a car must already be pretty easy if you were able to do it.
> I did not expect to get much of what I wanted. Instead, a complete
> surprize to me. I got everything plus more.
Did they charge extra to draw the giant plutonium atom on the side?
> I went and bought this from the Toyota dealer in White River
> Junction Vermont. A good business deal. I got the exact pickup
> I wanted with manual 5-speed and air conditioning and extras.
> I got better than the list price, perhaps because I paid in cash.
Well, Arch, I will assume that you preceded that with several attempts
to pay in marzipan.
(Did you at least shape it like money?)
> So, by next week I am on the road to buy real estate.
Oh, yeah, if you're going to spend the next ten years travelling around
the world it's very important to buy a house right before you leave.
> I should recount details of my life history and the constant
> tug-of-war pull between owning materials and that desire to go down to
> bare bone basics. It is sort of a wave motion in my life.
If you stop rocking your head back and forth maybe the water inside won't
slosh around so much.
> When in Australia in 1972-1974 I was at bare bones with two suitcases,
> no vehicles and renting. Then from 1975-1980 I was selling 5 or 6 real
> estate properties and 2 vehicles and a whole house full of materialism.
> After that selloff, everything I owned could fit inside a car. Then by
> 1986 the materialism returned and I owned 5 or 6 pieces of farmland in
> South Dakota with 1 Toyota pickup and 2 bicycles and a whole house full
> of materialism. Then in 1987 I had another sell-off to bare bones. When
> I came to Dartmouth, my materialism amounted to 1 bicycle and 4 large
> boxes which I used the postal service or UPS to ship. Now it looks as
> though the wave of materialism is on the increase again in that I need
> a home-base.
>
> In these cycles of materialism, somethings repeat, such as I have had
> great luck with Toyota pick-ups and they serve me so well in space
...that's what Erin Moran said.
> and so dependable.
LIKE A ROCK!!!!!
But enough about your head, let's talk about the truck.
> The thing I want to comment especially about these cycles of
> materialism is that when I was doing theoretical physics and science
> and engineering in the past ten years of 1989-1999, I needed my mind
> free, as free as possible of encumbrances so that I could think
> completely and solely upon science. I did not want to lose thoughts
> over taking care of materialism. Einstein remarked that everything you
> own is like a pebble tied to your legs.
Arch? Arch? Those ain't pebbles, and PLEASE don't tell us how you
got the dingleberries in your leg hair.
> I like to analogize to the picture that everything you own is
> like a dog leash strapped and tied to you.
So if you own a dog leash, the dog leash is attached to another
dog leash, which has its own dog leash, which has another dog leash...
> And that the more material you own, the shorter is that dog
> leash, to the point where ones life revolves around the materialism
> he/she swims in every day.
HEY! NO DOGS ALLOWED IN THE MATERIALISM POOL!!!
> And this materialism picture is not only the physical realm of a
> person such as paying taxes on it, caring and cleaning thereof,
> watching over so not stolen or vandalized etc etc. Almost ones whole
> life is absorbed in this materialism. But not only the physical, but
> the mental life of a person. I can just imagine myself in the past 10
> years whilst doing physics and if I had the lot of materialism that
> most people have of winterizing the car or taking it to the mechanic
> for fixing or even driving around which most people do--
So, Arch, your scientific work boils down to:
1.) Don't bother getting your car fixed when it breaks.
2.) Don't drive around.
You remind me of Fred Mertz, only without the crazy neighbor.
> the time both physically and mentally would have stolen away the time
> to do physics.
So invent a time machine! SHEESH! Do I have to do ALL your physics
research for you? Just invent a time machine and then you can own a
car AND be a scientist at the same time!
> It is perhaps one of the reasons that most religions speak against
> materialism in that lives are squandered and wasted in this realm of
> the material goods whereas more time should go for reflection,
> religion, and higher realms of thought.
>
> But I am pragmatic, and leaving Dartmouth I need a new home-base.
Why don't you buy a nice ripe cow pasture? As a home base, I'd like to
see you slide into it.
> And in order to get around in today's world, I need the transportation.
ONE NEEDS TRANSPORTATION TO GET AROUND THESE DAYS!!! GENIUS!!!
> Although I prefer to not own a vehicle for life is much simpler and my
> mind is not taken up by vehicle concerns, the pragmatic necessity
> dictates that I have a vehicle. Another important issue is that my
> contribution to clean air for the past 15 years by doing everything
> with bicycle is a noteworthy contribution to clean air. If only more
> people made contributions of not driving so much so that we can have
> cleaner air.
GENIUS!!!!
> So, shortly the wave cycle of materialism will be back to the last
> cycle of where I owned a Toyota pick-up and 2 bicycles and then 2 or 3
> or 4 pieces of real estate. I am going to look for agricultural real
> estate to grow fruit trees or vegetables.
> But you and I both know that what I really will be doing is physics
> and science and I will be posting to the Internet.
So you can't do physics if you own a car, but you'll have plenty of
time to do major scientific research while tending your farm?
> I did not expect to buy this Toyota today, but the salesman was so
> nice and kind that I do not think I could find another such nice and
> kind deal as today, so I bought it. Now I need to find a camper shell
> for the pick-up. Last Toyota I had a fiberglass that was heavy. This
> time I think I may try an aluminum shell. And the salesman said that
> Toyota comes with a 5 year all weather guard warranty which is nice.
Warranty voided when speed exceeds IQ.
-- K.
Which could happen while you
were sitting in a parked car.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: What is it about Kennedys?
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Sun, 18 Jul 1999 04:00:59 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
Who would've thought that Rose and especially Teddy Kennedy would
outlive most or all of the others?
I think perhaps Teddy Kennedy is secretly related to Bob Hope.
-- K.
Hey, is Schwarzenegger still a half-Kennedy?
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Unicode
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 1999 23:37:12 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
I have decided to convert alt.religion.kibology from ASCII to Unicode.
Unicode is the modern version of SUPER ESPERANTO!!! to allow all of us
to understand each other with greater ease than if we didn't use lots
of weird symbols.
From now on, all words you say should contain at least two or three
of the funny symbols from the Unicode character set in order to ensure
Unicode compliance. Here are your best bets for general use, with their
hexadecimal character numbers to make them easier to find on your new
65,536-key keyboard, as excerpted from the Unicode standard:
0255 : LATIN SMALL LETTER C WITH CURL
0256 : LATIN SMALL LETTER D WITH TAIL
0257 : LATIN SMALL LETTER D WITH HOOK
0258 : LATIN SMALL LETTER REVERSED E
0259 : LATIN SMALL LETTER SCHWA
025A : LATIN SMALL LETTER SCHWA WITH HOOK
025B : LATIN SMALL LETTER OPEN E
025C : LATIN SMALL LETTER REVERSED OPEN E
025D : LATIN SMALL LETTER REVERSED OPEN E WITH HOOK
025E : LATIN SMALL LETTER CLOSED REVERSED OPEN E
025F : LATIN SMALL LETTER DOTLESS J WITH STROKE
0260 : LATIN SMALL LETTER G WITH HOOK
0261 : LATIN SMALL LETTER SCRIPT G
0262 : LATIN LETTER SMALL CAPITAL G
0263 : LATIN SMALL LETTER GAMMA
0264 : LATIN SMALL LETTER RAMS HORN
0265 : LATIN SMALL LETTER TURNED H
0266 : LATIN SMALL LETTER H WITH HOOK
0267 : LATIN SMALL LETTER HENG WITH HOOK
0268 : LATIN SMALL LETTER I WITH STROKE
0269 : LATIN SMALL LETTER IOTA
026A : LATIN LETTER SMALL CAPITAL I
026B : LATIN SMALL LETTER L WITH MIDDLE TILDE
026C : LATIN SMALL LETTER L WITH BELT
026D : LATIN SMALL LETTER L WITH RETROFLEX HOOK
026E : LATIN SMALL LETTER LEZH
026F : LATIN SMALL LETTER TURNED M
0270 : LATIN SMALL LETTER TURNED M WITH LONG LEG
0271 : LATIN SMALL LETTER M WITH HOOK
0272 : LATIN SMALL LETTER N WITH LEFT HOOK
0273 : LATIN SMALL LETTER N WITH RETROFLEX HOOK
0274 : LATIN LETTER SMALL CAPITAL N
0275 : LATIN SMALL LETTER BARRED O
0276 : LATIN LETTER SMALL CAPITAL OE
0277 : LATIN SMALL LETTER CLOSED OMEGA
0278 : LATIN SMALL LETTER PHI
0279 : LATIN SMALL LETTER TURNED R
027A : LATIN SMALL LETTER TURNED R WITH LONG LEG
027B : LATIN SMALL LETTER TURNED R WITH HOOK
027C : LATIN SMALL LETTER R WITH LONG LEG
027D : LATIN SMALL LETTER R WITH TAIL
027E : LATIN SMALL LETTER R WITH FISHHOOK
027F : LATIN SMALL LETTER REVERSED R WITH FISHHOOK
0280 : LATIN LETTER SMALL CAPITAL R
0281 : LATIN LETTER SMALL CAPITAL INVERTED R
0282 : LATIN SMALL LETTER S WITH HOOK
0283 : LATIN SMALL LETTER ESH
0284 : LATIN SMALL LETTER DOTLESS J WITH STROKE AND HOOK
0285 : LATIN SMALL LETTER SQUAT REVERSED ESH
0286 : LATIN SMALL LETTER ESH WITH CURL
0287 : LATIN SMALL LETTER TURNED T
0288 : LATIN SMALL LETTER T WITH RETROFLEX HOOK
0454 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER UKRAINIAN IE
0455 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER DZE
0456 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER BYELORUSSIAN-UKRAINIAN I
0457 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER YI
0458 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER JE
0459 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER LJE
045A : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER NJE
045B : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER TSHE
045C : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER KJE
045E : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER SHORT U
045F : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER DZHE
0460 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER OMEGA
0461 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER OMEGA
0462 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER YAT
0463 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER YAT
0464 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER IOTIFIED E
0465 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER IOTIFIED E
0466 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER LITTLE YUS
0467 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER LITTLE YUS
0468 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER IOTIFIED LITTLE YUS
0469 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER IOTIFIED LITTLE YUS
0482 : CYRILLIC THOUSANDS SIGN
0483 : COMBINING CYRILLIC TITLO
0484 : COMBINING CYRILLIC PALATALIZATION
0485 : COMBINING CYRILLIC DASIA PNEUMATA
0486 : COMBINING CYRILLIC PSILI PNEUMATA
0490 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER GHE WITH UPTURN
0491 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER GHE WITH UPTURN
0492 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER GHE WITH STROKE
0493 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER GHE WITH STROKE
0494 : CYRILLIC CAPITAL LETTER GHE WITH MIDDLE HOOK
0495 : CYRILLIC SMALL LETTER GHE WITH MIDDLE HOOK
06D7 : ARABIC SMALL HIGH LIGATURE QAF WITH LAM WITH ALEF MAKSURA
06EC : ARABIC ROUNDED HIGH STOP WITH FILLED CENTRE
0F36 : TIBETAN MARK CARET -DZUD RTAGS BZHI MIG CAN
201F : DOUBLE HIGH-REVERSED-9 QUOTATION MARK
206D : ACTIVATE ARABIC FORM SHAPING
206E : NATIONAL DIGIT SHAPES
206F : NOMINAL DIGIT SHAPES
2105 : CARE OF
2106 : CADA UNA
2107 : EULER CONSTANT
2108 : SCRUPLE
2279 : NEITHER GREATER-THAN NOR LESS-THAN
2369 : APL FUNCTIONAL SYMBOL GREATER-THAN DIAERESIS
2532 : BOX DRAWINGS LEFT LIGHT AND RIGHT DOWN HEAVY
2638 : WHEEL OF DHARMA
2639 : WHITE FROWNING FACE
3010 : LEFT BLACK LENTICULAR BRACKET
3012 : POSTAL MARK
3191 : IDEOGRAPHIC ANNOTATION REVERSE MARK
33FE : IDEOGRAPHIC TELEGRAPH SYMBOL FOR DAY THIRTY-ONE
FE3A : PRESENTATION FORM FOR VERTICAL RIGHT TORTOISE SHELL BRACKET
So, anyway, in order to ensure Unicode compliance, please inject
a couple of Presentation Forms For Vertical Right Tortoise Shell Brackets
into your conversation to make what you're saying absolutely clear,
unless you're actually talking about tortoise shells, in which case
insert the Arabic Rounded High Stop With Filled Centre. Mmm, filled centre...
-- K.
Oh, and I forgot to mention, all food
products will now be in metric...
in hexadecimal.
I'm also still working on getting
alt.religion.kibology ISO-666 certified.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: A Journey...
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 00:07:04 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
Samantha Wilkinson (sammie@world.std.com) wrote:
>
> Nightshifter (dinks@ckt.net.nospam) wrote:
> >
> > "Redneck isp..." I gasped in frustration. So off I went, searching
> > hard for whatever I could find about Kibo. Soon finding a delightful web
> > page authored by this unknown "God" I was intrigued at the humor and
> > tact.
>
> I feel I should let the new guy know that as far as Kibo's concerned,
> tact is when he wades through thousands of posts by A. Plutonium just to
> find the one that quotes an article of yours from 1994 and then shares
> it only with your fiance rather than embarrasing you in front of the
> whole world. Or so I've heard.
Ah, so either the copy I sent to Bob Hope never arrived, or he doesn't
care enough about you to tell you.
Besides, I don't see what's so embarassing about having told
alt.religion.kibology that not washing your long hair is better than
not twirling your short hair.
-- K.
Archie could twirl a crew cut.
From across the room.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
[from a 10,000-line glob of stuff that Archie Plutonium recently reposted]
From: Archimedes Plutonium (Archimedes.Plutonium@dartmouth.edu)
Subject: Re: Question for Mr. Plutonium re coiffure
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology, alt.sci.physics.plutonium
Organization: part of the 5f6 of PU
Date: 4 Dec 1994 02:02:44 GMT
James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
>
> Dear Archimedes --
>
> I know that you shave your head every day. Well, normally I shave
> my head about once every two weeks--not to take off _all_ the hair, you
> understand, but just to make it short and frizzy like I got used to when I
> was a SEAL. Problem is, yesterday I had a horrible accident and I
> mistakenly removed more hair on one side than on the other. Whatever
> can I do, short of removing the rest?
>
> Yrs,
> Kibo
>
> P.S. You could cut styrofoam with my widow's peak.
> P.P.S. Do you know Ed Siegel?
True I shave my head every day. This I started to do in Spring of
1990, because it is pragmatic. Since I shave my face every day, and
since I have a bald spot, I just decided to shave the whole head,
excepting eyelashes of course. This has become a sort of local trend
here at Dartmouth. One local barber when told to cut it close asks "you
want a Plutonium haircut?" They use that as a rough gauge.
It takes a little getting use to, but when you see the hair come
back and remember the disappoints, you like to stay with the all-shaved
look. It is like the difference of MacWrite and Word. Once you do the
all-shave and like it, there is no going back.
I use an electric Braun shaver. It is the most practical and
pragmatic solution to hair. Of course, all of those people who lead a
shallow life and look at skin deep, and want sex and more sex, well
then, the all-shaved look is not for them. Only the geniuses and
supergeniuses realize that hair is close to meaningless for one's
lifetime. I wear hats yearround. Hats are better than hair. Hair takes
too much of ones time in life to maintain. I know some women who
probably when added up will have spent 5 years out of a 50 year life
just on their hair alone.
And, Kibo, just the other day I was sitting at a computer station
when along comes a pretty blonde who sits next to me. It did not stay a
pretty sight for long because shortly she started to twirl her hair,
and play with it. And I was doing some physics and math. And I get
upset over this behavior, just as I hate gum chewers popping bubbles or
with their mouths open chewing like an animal. So I was about to ask
this blonde, no longer pretty to my eyes. That I was holding up my
coat. And I was going to ask her, very kindly of course. You must set
the standard Kibo, around young people. Ask her if she would not mind
holding the other end of my coat as a curtain between me and her
playing with her hair? Holding one end of my coat and asking her.
"Hi, would you please mind holding this end of the coat."
I did not do this, but I just wonder how fast she would have caught-on
to what I was really saying.
-------------------------------------------------------------
From: Samantha L. Wilkinson (sammie@coos.dartmouth.edu)
Subject: Re: Question for Mr. Plutonium re coiffure
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology, alt.sci.physics.plutonium
Date: 4 Dec 1994 11:37:23 GMT
Archimedes Plutonium (Archimedes.Plutonium@dartmouth.edu) wrote:
>
> I use an electric Braun shaver. It is the most practical and
> pragmatic solution to hair. Of course, all of those people who lead a
> shallow life and look at skin deep, and want sex and more sex, well
> then, the all-shaved look is not for them. Only the geniuses and
> supergeniuses realize that hair is close to meaningless for one's
> lifetime. I wear hats yearround. Hats are better than hair. Hair takes
> too much of ones time in life to maintain. I know some women who
> probably when added up will have spent 5 years out of a 50 year life
> just on their hair alone.
Hmmmm, I've actually found the opposite to be true. I used to have
short hair and found it was much harder to maintain -- I had to blowdry
it, style it, etc. Now that its longer I can just put it up and I bet
I spend less time on my hair than you do on yours. Plus it's much cooler
in the winter when your hair freezes up. Ah, the simple pleasures of
life. Maybe Kibo should consider *growing* out his hair?
> And, Kibo, just the other day I was sitting at a computer station
> when along comes a pretty blonde who sits next to me. It did not stay a
> pretty sight for long because shortly she started to twirl her hair,
> and play with it. And I was doing some physics and math. And I get
> upset over this behavior, just as I hate gum chewers popping bubbles or
> with their mouths open chewing like an animal. So I was about to ask
> this blonde, no longer pretty to my eyes. That I was holding up my
> coat. And I was going to ask her, very kindly of course. You must set
> the standard Kibo, around young people. Ask her if she would not mind
> holding the other end of my coat as a curtain between me and her
> playing with her hair? Holding one end of my coat and asking her.
> "Hi, would you please mind holding this end of the coat."
> I did not do this, but I just wonder how fast she would have caught-on
> to what I was really saying.
I find it interesting that you get so upset over someone fooling with
her hair. You're certainly no less distracting when you sit in the
middle of a public cluster using a computer and *laughing*, but you
don't see me making a big show of sticking pez in my ears and glaring
at you, hoping you'll get the hint. It's one of the things we
unfortunately have to deal with when using a public cluster. Although
I think it helped me that I went to a high school which used the "open
concept", ie, the classrooms didn't have walls, just dividers. It was
actually a great system since if the class you were in was really
boring, you could just listen in to what was going on next door.
One of my favorite signs in one of the public clusters in our computer
center reads "Quiet conversation should be maintained at all times." I
always feel terribly guilty when working there because sometimes I just
*have* to get my work done and I don't have time to talk. I live in
constant fear that someone official will kick me off in favor of a
student who will follow all the cluster rules!
Samantha, who confesses that the real reason she likes her hair longer
is that when she wears it in a ponytail it sways back and forth when
she walks
--
Samantha Wilkinson sammie@coos.dartmouth.edu
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Gary Coleman Arrested Over Fines
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 00:19:03 GMT
X-Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 1138 centons, 88 microns, .04 abians
Organization: welcome datacomp
> LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Former ``Diff'rent Strokes'' star Gary
> Coleman was arrested for failing to pay $400 in fines for punching
> an autograph seeker.
> [...]
> Coleman was booked into the city jail, where he spent several
> hours before posting $26,000 bail, McInerny said.
A peek inside the mind of the financial genius that is Gary Coleman.
-- K.
Just think, for $26,000, he
could have punched 65 people!
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Fun Fact
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 03:47:17 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
Apple's current PowerBook weigh 5.9 pounds, or less if you install the
special "weight-saving module".
?
-- K. ?
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: HOLY CANOLI ..
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 03:55:28 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
Leah Verre (leahv@humongous.com) wrote:
>
> I've had the map of Kibonia on my desktop for a few weeks, and just
> this morning I noticed the provence of "Blarm".
> I have never seen that before.
>
> Am I going to come in tomorrow and find another town with the name of
> "Squiggle"?
>
> It's like some horror movie.
> KIBO GET OUT OF MY MIND AND OFF MY DESKTOP!
Leah, if you look really closely at that map, you'll notice there's a city
named for the date Bob Hope's gonna die.
-- K.
It's in that province
that has 366 cities.
-----------------------------------------------------
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Re: Did Kibo Kill JFK Jr?
Url-Of-Www-Dot-Kibo-Dot-Com: http://www.kibo.com
Battlestar-Galactica-Date: 3194 centons, 98 microns, 0.03 bozons
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 1999 04:13:35 GMT
Organization: Stately Kibo Manor
"Sager" (Nuke-The-Whales@USA.Net) wrote:
>
> You know... I think Kibo may have accidentally killed John John. Does
> anyone notice how odd it is that Kibo mentioned the Kennedys in this week's
> "Do What I Say Club?" Did Kibo's carelessness cause the death of the son of
> the late president?
Hmm, I wrote those rumors at least a year ago. Let me look at my Web
site to see what that one (for last week) was...
Very Special Rumor #28
Most of the people who write to Ann Landers
are actually Kibo!
-->
--> Very Special Rumor #29
--> Kibo used to be a member of the Kennedy family,
--> until they disowned him for not drinking enough!
Very Special Rumor #30
Kibo invented the colon, the hyphen, and
the right parenthesis!
Yep, it's true. Not only did I just mention the Kennedy family -- in an
entirely automated way, while I was too ill with the flu to read Usenet --
but I guarantee you that the Kennedys deny one of them, and I don't drink,
so it MUST be true.
Other than that, nobody mentioned JFK Jr. by name on alt.religion.kibology
within the past year. However, a year and a half ago, one of the other
Kennedys was killed by an EVIL TREE! (At about the same time as Sonny Bono.)
And here's what happened. Note that not one of these folks picks up on the
LARGE GLOWING FLASHING ASSERTION THAT THE CURRENT PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES IS GERRY FORD.
(BY THE WAY, HE'S NOT. CHEVY CHASE IS.)
As Ted Frank may have pointed out, people who like to brag about their
SAT scores are more easily hoodwinked than people who got low scores.
Of course, the least gullible are those of us who got high scores
and DON'T brag about it...
-- K.
My SAT score was so
high that I got a free game!
///////////// reruns //////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject: Tragic, gory death
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology, alt.fan.u2,alt.music.u2,
alt.music.dead-kennedys
Followup-To: alt.music.u2
Date: 1998/01/07
Geez, first MTV's Kennedy, then U2's Bono die while skiing.
All because of badly-placed trees.
I think we should start a petition to have the President make trees illegal!
Write to:
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, GERALD R. FORD
THE WHITE HOUSE
1400 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
WASHINGTON, D.C.
And by an amazing coincidence, 1400 is also my SAT score, which is the maximum!
-- K.
Was U2 named
after the submarine
or the uranium?
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: nic (nicbarna@ihug.co.nz)
Subject: Re: Tragic, gory death
Newsgroups: alt.music.u2
Organization: The Internet Group Ltd
Date: Wed, 07 Jan 1998 07:01:15 GMT
On Wed, 7 Jan 1998 05:48:11 GMT, kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo"
Parry) wrote:
>
> Geez, first MTV's Kennedy, then U2's Bono die while skiing.
> All because of badly-placed trees.
>
> I think we should start a petition to have the President make trees illegal!
>
> Write to:
>
> THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, GERALD R. FORD
> THE WHITE HOUSE
> 1400 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
> WASHINGTON, D.C.
>
> And by an amazing coincidence, 1400 is also my SAT score, which is the
> maximum!
If that really is your SAT score then please explain your lack of
intelligence in the above post.
"Come on God,answer me.After years I'm asking you why,
why are the innocent dead & the guilty alive?Where is
justice?Where is punishment?Or have you already answered?
Have you already said to the world?Here is justice,here
is punishment.Here.In me."
The Punisher.
Nic DFL
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: Lou Palou (koroviev@sirius.com)
Subject: Re: Tragic, gory death
Newsgroups: alt.music.u2
Organization: The Sugar Lounge
Date: Wed, 07 Jan 1998 06:48:19 GMT
On Wed, 7 Jan 1998 05:48:11 GMT, kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo"
Parry) wrote:
>
> Was U2 named
> after the submarine
> or the uranium?
Back when they were young lassies in Dublin, performing under the name
of Sonny and the Chastity Pigs, they were having a bad gig at the
Moose & Mussels one night when one of the locals cried out "You suck!"
Bono, being the consommate improvisor, parried with "You too!". This
phrase haunted him for months until the epiphany which brought us the
letter "U" and the numeral "2" we've all come to loathe.
This is not a true story. Don't sue me.
--
Lou
uptime 9:01:44
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: Jyphy (Jyphy@hotmail.com)
Subject: Re: Tragic, gory death
Newsgroups: alt.music.u2
Organization: Internet Services Provider Network
Date: Wed, 07 Jan 1998 21:31:49 -0800
James "Kibo" Parry wrote:
>
> Geez, first MTV's Kennedy, then U2's Bono die while skiing.
> All because of badly-placed trees.
>
> I think we should start a petition to have the President make trees illegal!
>
> Write to:
>
> THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, GERALD R. FORD
> THE WHITE HOUSE
> 1400 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE
> WASHINGTON, D.C.
>
> And by an amazing coincidence, 1400 is also my SAT score, which is the
> maximum!
>
> -- K.
> Was U2 named
> after the submarine
> or the uranium?
don't even joke about bono dying. that would be the day I die. Not
really...it'd suck shit though. I thought 1600 was max.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: The Mad Bastard Twitch (twitch@mindspring.com)
Subject: Re: Tragic, gory death
Newsgroups: alt.music.u2
Organization: The Ragged Edge of Linear Thought
Date: Wed, 07 Jan 1998 22:38:00 GMT
>
> And by an amazing coincidence, 1400 is also my SAT score, which is the
> maximum!
>
Congratulations, I only scored a measly 1440 myself. (650m, 790v) :)
The maximum, BTW, is 1600 (800 per section).
> -- K.
> Was U2 named
> after the submarine
> or the uranium?
(Who cares? They suck anyway!)
Twitch
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: Thomas Chaumont (chaum@mygale.org)
Subject: Re: Tragic, gory death
Newsgroups: alt.music.u2, alt.religion.kibology
Organization: ImagiNET
Date: Thu, 08 Jan 1998 12:49:28 +0000
Ted Frank wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote:
> > Was U2 named
> > after the submarine
> > or the uranium?
>
> Silly Kibo. The symbol for uranium is "Hg".
>
> --
> You're just a drifter who found a bag of mail.
> http://www.radix,net/~moe
Bloody bugger yourself.
Hg is for mercury.
Open your mouth when you're damn sure to be right.
(I should post this everyday...)
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
From: "Rufus T. Firefly" (rufus_t_firefly2@hotmail.com)
Subject: Re: Tragic, gory death
Newsgroups: alt.music.u2
Organization: Erol's Internet Services
Date: Sat, 10 Jan 1998 12:29:05 -0500
*sarcastic*
umm, yeah, you're cool.
it was an ACTUAL kennedy, dipshit.
this is what happens when you watch mtv
be warned.
-rufus