Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Advertising campaigns are reflecting diminshed expectations... Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 01:30:24 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com "revjack" (revjack@radix.net) wrote: > > Am I the only one who reads the weekly restaurant closure > tally in the newspaper? The one where they name the > restaurant and why it got shut down by the health people, > like for "rodent infestation" or "overflowing sewage"? I would read that if they started illustrating it with wacky cartoons like the ones in the OSHA Fatal Facts newsletter showing people accidentally shooting their co-workers with nailguns. > Most of them seem to fall into three categories: > > 1) [critter] infestation > 2) toilets backed up > 3) no soap in the bathroom > > This last one nails SO many people. It's hard to nail a person with soap! Try a nailgun. You'll never get your picture in the newspaper if you don't. > I read it for the occasional oddities, like, "No personnel > on premises", or "Missing floor". So I take it the stuff Mike O. does in Taco Bell doesn't quite make the cut as far as this column goes. I wish the newspapers had more space so they could list every incident of someone spilling his imaginary Diet Dr Pepper on the counter. > They even descend on those roadside BBQ trucks. I'm a little > ambivalent about this; on the one hand, if I ever get food > poisoning and DIE, it'll prolly be from one of Smokey Joe's > sammitches. On the other hand, DAMN that's good BBQ. At Emerson College, the quilted silver snack truck that parked on Beacon Street got busted because they were actually a front for a loansharking operation. Sure, they kneecapped a few students, but when they broke a professor's leg that's when they got caught. That and the fact that they were parked directly in front of Campus Security for a few years doing this. Then after they vanished from that parking space, that's when the guy who would park his car there and masturbate moved in for a few days before the campus cops took him into the office, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. -- K. I forget whether this was before or after the Emerson hockey team trashed the school's only police car. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Supermarket divider bar tragedy #20000716a. Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 01:44:28 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Mike Zeares (mzeares@texas.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > If you ask nicely I will tell you about the dumbest cashier > > I've ever encountered. Need I mention it was in a 7-Eleven? > > Uncle Kibo? Please tell us that story about the dumbest cashier you > ever met. Please? Pleeeeeeease? > > -- Mikey (An' do the funny voice.) Okie-dokie, Mikey. You may remember that there is a 7-Eleven a block from where I live, and it used to be a Christy's with an "ALWAYS OPEN" sign even though they were only open until 11. And they briefly had a Taco Bell Express in the back requiring twice as many employees (two) as the rest of the dinky convenience store so that you could have two people threatening to have you arrested when you allow them to get your order wrong. (That Taco Bell Express died faster than any other fast food outlet I've ever seen, it was gone in less than half a year.) Then you may also recall I went to this 7-Eleven to try to buy one of the El Tacos they had posters advertising, and the clDUHHHHerk didn't know what an El Taco was other that it obviously involved a hot dog bun, DUHHHHHHHHH. Well, anyhow, the Calumet market across the street (the one which used to smell funny, had squishy "frozen" food, and the ads saying "Our Most Important Special Is Y-O-U!") went out of business, the "convenience" store in the gas station (which was closed for remodeling for over a year) is pathetic (and has clerks who really, really, really dislike ringing up people's purchases), and the Osco drugstore now closes at 9:30 instead of 10:30 because they changed their posted closing time from 11 to 10. This means that when I get home from work (usually after 10) there are few options for buying snacks, but usually the 7-Eleven is open. I went in there to pick up a gallon of water (tap water isn't terribly trustworthy in Boston) and some other stuff, and when I got to the counter I noticed a big puddle of coffee on the nice white counter. The puddle was approximately the size which would result if Mike O. spilled an entire cup of coffee on the counter without getting any on the floor. It was right next to the cash register, so naturally I put my groceries on the counter a little further away from the register, not touching the puddle. Let me restate that this was a BIG BROWN PUDDLE on a WHITE counter, not very difficult to see EVEN IF YOU'RE STUPID. So, the clerk rings up my purchase and prepares to put the stuff in a bag. He shakes open a plastic bag and notices there's a big puddle where he wants to put the bag, and being a nice guy he didn't want to get the bag wet, so... ...he shoved my groceries over into the coffee puddle and put the empty bag in the clean spot. Then he put the groceries in the bag. Wait, there's more. Because the bag was still clean on the bottom, he slid it over into the coffee puddle before handing it to me. The sheer dumbness of some of these people makes me wonder why "Gilligan's Island" didn't get cancelled for being too intellectual. -- K. I doubt this guy could have followed the plot of "Gilligan's Island". "Hey, why are they putting hot dogs into the buns we use for El Tacos?" ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Why Doesn't My Friend eat Gummy? Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 01:56:11 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com "ren" (ren@netgoths.com) wrote: > > She won't even touch these FruitGushers:TropicalFlavors stuff. What's > wrong with plastic? It's not really plastic. It's just the stuff edible underwear is made from. Today Apple formally changed all the colors of their iMacs: old -> strawberry, grape, blueberry, lime, tangerine older -> bondi new -> ruby, indigo, sage, graphite, snow "sage", of course, is another word for "fishtank algae green", just like "bondi" and "blueberry". I mention this because, internally, Apple refers to these new, glossier colors as "gummi colors". The iMac now comes in gummi! Can a gummikrankenschwester iMac be far behind? It would sell big in Germany. And probably in Japan, too, but they'd have to change the name to something that sounds like English. -- K. I still want them to make computers with Silly Putty cases so that you can reshape them according to whether or not corners are allowed each year. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.fan.dejanews,alt.religion.kibology,alt.dejanews.risks From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Deja's new 'x-no-productlinks: yes' header Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 02:27:05 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Followup-To: alt.fan.dejanews,alt.religion.kibology In alt.religion.kibology and alt.fan.dejanews, Jorn Barger (jorn@mcs.com) wrote: > > > Thank you for contacting Deja.Com Customer Support. > > Thank you for your recent e-mail concerning the new feature in Deja.com's > > Usenet Discussion Service that detects product names in Usenet messages > > and hyperlinks these names to related content in Deja.com's Precision > > Buying Service. "Precision Buying Service" is the prettiest obfuscation I've heard since NASA started almost admitting the Challenger exploded. > > These hyperlinks are not sponsored advertisements, but are simply > > pointers to other areas of Deja.com which we hope you will find > > relevant and helpful as you are reading Usenet discussions. So remember, although they tell you to BUY things through the "Precision BUYING Service", they're not ads. "They're not ads, they're just propaganda!" > > We are sorry that you are offended by this feature. I think they're lying about that. I bet that there is at least one employee of Deja.com who isn't sorry at all that they had to send you a form letter explaining why they're going out of their way to stick ads into other people's writings. I am sorry that Deja.com doesn't have a clue about respect for other people's creative efforts, respect for the intelligence of Deja.com's users, or respect for the intelligence of people to whom they send these bullshitty form letters. > > We do not believe that users of Deja.com will view the hyperlinks > > as being part of your message. Even though they're mixed in with the middle of the message. > > Rather, we believe users will understand that the content of the original > > Usenet posting has not changed, "We're not changing what you wrote, we're just adding lots of stuff to it that you didn't think to write!" Look --> "Four score and seven years ago," "Four score and SEVEN-UP years ago," It contains everything the original did, so it's even BETTER! > > and will appreciate that these hyperlinks are simply part of our > > continued efforts to make Deja.com a compelling way for users to > > discuss and learn about products Oh! So THAT'S the purose of reading alt.religion.kibology! We were supposed to be telling each other to buy stuff for all these years before Deja.com gallantly explained the purpose of the Internet to us! BY THE WAY, 7-ELEVEN'S "EL TACO" SUCKS. > > We know that users love to discuss and debate their favorite products and > > services on Usenet, and our new links provide seamless, one-click access (as opposed to those hyperlinks where you have to click them and then turn a large crank in the side of your computer) > > to additional information about the exact product being discussed - > > from specifications and features to user ratings and reviews. > > > > *Please bear with us during our roll-out of this feature. We are working > > to refine the process by which we generate these context-sensitive links > > in order to maximize their relevance to the products and services being > > discussed. If I wanted to say something relevant, I would have said it myself, pinhead. But thank you for your idiotic attempts to explain that I should like having advertisements inserted in what I write because the ads make my words MORE RELEVANT. > > We are providing these links to help users make the most of Deja.com's > > content offerings, and we hope that you will come to find them helpful. > > However, because we realize that some users would rather not have Deja > > display links to our Precision Buying Service content from product names > > mentioned in Usenet postings, we are currently in the process of > > implementing an "x-no-productlinks: yes" header which will suppress the > > generation of these hyperlinks on those messages. "In the process of implementing"? How long does it take to implement a "TURN THE CRAP OFF" switch? Has it occurred to anyone else that every other Usenet news server provides the ability to not see DejaNews's advertisements from the moment it comes out of the box? They're claiming they're struggling to implement an "off" switch for a feature they should never have considered adding in the first place. > > Deja.com also currently observes the "x-no-archive: yes" header, I am currently observing DejaNews's "smarter-than-a-fish: no" management. > > which prevents postings from being available on Deja.com. > > More information about using headers when posting > > through Deja.com is available at http://www.deja.com/help/help_pn.epl. For > > help on including headers when posting through other software or services, > > please refer to the help documentation for the software or service you are > > using to post Usenet messages. In addition, you may refer to the "self > > nuke" feature of Deja.com described at > > http://www.deja.com/help/faq_abuse.epl#nuke, which allows users to delete > > their messages which appear on Deja.com. I tried Deja's "self-nuke" button but it didn't work, Deja.com is still there. But it was really nice to give me the option of destroying my own articles to prevent Deja from putting ads in all the ones I wrote in the past. I hope they give me a similar option when Deja.com starts putting their ads in reruns of "The Dating Game". (I would love to be able to push the button that makes twenty-year-old "Dating Game" episodes vanish forever, because then I could watch an entire day of The Game Show Network in two and a half hours.) > > We appreciate your using our service at http://www.deja.com. Thank you > > again for your understanding. SHOVING SHARPENED PRETZELS UP YOUR NOSE INTO YOUR BRAIN IS GOOD. NOW THAT I'VE SAID IT, YOU UNDERSTAND IT. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TELL YOU THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE TWENTY DOLLARS YOU OWE ME NOW. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS LEGALLY BINDING. > > Please don't hesitate to contact us should you have any further questions. Remember not to hesitate! Be sure not to think about what you write before you write it. It would be terrible if you wasted your time carefully crafting your complaint before we threw it away. -- K. I really gotta finish a certain programming project I've been working on which will make some people here very happy. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Deja's new 'x-no-productlinks: yes' header Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 02:33:37 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com David DeLaney (dbd@gatekeeper.vic.com) wrote: > > Garamir (garamir@jps.net) wrote: > > > > So, when will they have a free news server that hosts /only/ a.r.k.? > > Ask Kibo. He saw it last. The big question is, would you folks be willing to use something which basically just lists all the recent articles without keeping track of which ones you've read on previous days, and which doesn't have filtering, or should I hold out until it has all the good stuff? Of course, the thing's already as good as DejaNews for reading articles, because DejaNews is a really, really, really, really lousy newsreader. Currently the main reason the thing hasn't been deployed is that it doesn't have any ability to post (adding that will entail adding facilities to authenticate people, passwords, accounts, that sort of thing) but I'm getting really tempted to open it up for people to try even though it's just a bare-bones read-only newsreader at the moment. Even though it only does that, the fact that it doesn't display a single banner ad, doesn't insert "relevant" links in other people's articles, doesn't rewrite their headers (Deja changes "Newsgroups:" to "Forums:", for instance), and doesn't take out all the line breaks would probably make it more worthwhile than DejaNews to a lot of people. -- K. Web-based news access is normally crappy, which is why I've wanted to wait for mine to have some non-crappy features before deploying it. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Bridge??? Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 05:51:36 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com The Avocado Avenger (stacia123@my-deja.com) wrote: > > Matt McIrvin (mmcirvin@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > Also, Sam once won a three-handed game of Scrabble against me > > *AND KIBO*, honestly for true, and she still says she is no good > > at Scrabble. Ha! I *LET* her win. Just like I *LET* you lose! > > If you have ever played Scrabble with Kibo you understand what this > > implies. It takes a unique brand of mental equilibrium. > > If I come to this year's September 13th ARKple in Boston, will you > guys play Scrabble wif me pweeze? I'd like to kick the asses of > people who don't live in Kansas. Nobody in Kansas will play Scrabble > with me, anymore. Waaah! I'll play Scrabble with you, if you promise not to jump up and down and scream and cry when I make a word which goes through three red squares. Hmm, someone should bring a copy of Trivial Pursuit's "TV Edition" to the party so I can kick everyone's butt. Matt will explain that I'm not kidding about that, either. By the way, I haven't picked a date for the party yet, and I don't even know what my schedule will be like around September, so don't count on the party being on September 13. (Last year was an anomaly, anyway, as it was to celebrate the Moon exploding on September 13, 1999 -- the actual alt.religion.kibology anniversary is in November. The parties move around a lot from year to year. If you can call 'em parties.) -- K. I prefer the term "party-style event with other natural persons." ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Bad Commercials #427 Date: Thu, 20 Jul 2000 06:01:55 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com "Eurakarte" (Eurakarte@bad-candy.com) wrote: > > If you haven't seen the toilet paper-using bears yet, you're in for > a treat. It features a roll of TP hanging from a badly-drawn tree, > then a worsely-drawn bear comes along and squats behind a tree and > does his buisness, then takes some toilet paper and says "Ahh, clean." > The major problem is that you can see part of the naked bear butt > flex. This goes down poorly with morning coffee. Well, toilet paper usually does go down pretty poorly unless you chew it really thoroughly. Or did you mean you were pouring your coffee in the toilet? Besides, it's nothing compared to the circa-1990 commercial that played a million times in Schenectady and three other towns in which you don't live, and nowhere else, featuring a clown doing number two while he juggled and a guy with a British accent prattled on about toilet paper. I am not making that up. He had a plaid nose and his pants made a slide-whistle noise as he dropped them and spread his feet apart. Oh, and steam came out of his ears when he wiped with the scratchy paper while juggling, and then he dropped his balls. I AM REALLY, REALLY, REALLY NOT MAKING THIS UP! It was obviously a British import and I think they were doing some strange study of its effectiveness because they played it eight times an hour in Schenectady for a while, but not in any major markets. I've heard it was shown in a few other places but it certainly wasn't nationally broadcast -- you would be still having nightmares about it if it had been. Also, months later, I saw a picture of the clown in a magazine, posed with dozens of others at a clown convention. I wonder how he introduced himself. "Hi, I'm Dumpy, the clown who juggles and poops." -- K. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY swear I actually saw this commercial a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY annoying number of times. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Boston trip III. Date: Fri, 21 Jul 2000 06:46:25 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Nick Bensema (nickb@io.com) wrote: > > [on Nick's trip to an albino convention] > > I also learned a lot. I learned about how albinism was viewed in the > middle ages on three continents, but I'm not telling you. And I learned > that every single variation of albinism known to mankind results in some > kind of eyesight problem that is not completely correctible because the > retina and the optic nerve, yes the OPTIC NERVE, don't form properly. > When I look at it that way, it seems I got off lucky. Except there was > this one guy at the CopyMax who I thought had albinism and my mom went > back and checked him out and he claimed that he "didn't have the eyes > for it" which means we might have found the exception to the rule but > lost him forever because there's no way he still works at the CopyMax. > With him gone and the human genome project complete, we may find > albinism will be engineered out of the human race. I may be among the > last of my kind. Oh, come on, Nick, I'm sure there will be nerds in the future too. Unless, of course, nerds can't reproduce for some reason. Maybe we should pass a law requiring every woman to date one nerd a year to ensure the survival of this endangered species, because our economy would collapse without nerds. Without nerds, the Internet would have never been invented, subways would be empty, the words "form factor" would be tragically underutilized, "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" would be all about dodgeball, and Jesse Ventura might actually seem intelligent. > And no, I didn't meet Kibo. My schedule was just too tight. Which was a shame, because I've always wanted to be crash an albino convention so that I could pretend I have a tan. -- K. My skin's the color of white Gatorade, only not so cloudy. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Fun fact. Date: Wed, 26 Jul 2000 06:40:14 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com In Edmonton, Alberta, the subway operates on the honor system! THEY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH THAT SORT OF CRAP IN NEW YORK! -- K. Also the Mall of America is inferior to the West Edmonton Mall because it only has Lego submarines, not real ones. Although, this is offset by the fact that the two KFCs in the West Edmonton Mall have The Colonel's Poutine. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Former Monkee uses Liquid Paper legacy to fund idea-fest Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 01:40:44 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com For l'AFP, Thomas Sharpe wrote: > > SANTA FE, New Mexico, July 22 (AFP) - The next time you use > Liquid Paper to fix a typo, or ponder the weighty issues of our day, > you might spare a thought for the Monkees. I'm sorry, but I donate all my spare thoughts to the truly needy, such as Kirstie Alley. She needs every thought she can get. (I think she had a thought a few days ago, or at least started to have one and will finish it in a few weeks.) > That's right -- the Monkees. Or at least one of them, and his mother. > Five scholars will convene over the weekend at an elegant compound > near here to craft a short statement -- on the most important issue of > our time. The swimsuit issue? > The semiannual Council on Ideas is funded by a foundation set up by > the inventor of Liquid Paper, the late Bette Graham, and administered by > her son, former Monkee Michael Nesmith. HE IS NOT A FORMER MONKEE! HE IS STILL A MONKEE IN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS! > Nesmith -- the tall one with the stocking cap -- was a Dallas teenager > when he auditioned for a television serial about a rock band, patterned > after the Beatles' "Hard Day's Night." LIAR! TAKE THAT BACK! "THE MONKEES" WAS NOT PATTERNED AFTER ANYTHING, IT WAS THE MOST ORIGINAL THING EVER!!! BUT YES IT WAS A SERIAL. > "The Monkees" ran on NBC from 1966 to 1968, and continues to air > in reruns. I'm so glad they specified that they're reruns. Otherwise I would have thought they meant that people were airing NEW episodes that had been made thirty years ago. > Nesmith was one of only two members of the contrived band who had any > musical experience, so the Monkees' music was all dubbed at first. But > songs like "Last Train to Clarksville" and "I'm a Believer" sold millions. Thus proving that the music was fine art, at least as long as they didn't actually put Neil Diamond's name on it. > The Monkees broke up after the show ended. LIAR LIAR LIAR!!! THEY DID NOT! THEY JUST CHANGED THEIR NAME TO "THE NEW MONKEES" AND HAD PLASTIC SURGERY AND LIVED IN A NEW HOUSE IN A DIFFERENT DECADE BUT IT WAS STILL THE MONKEES!!! > But as Nesmith hit it big, mom did too. Graham, a single mother and > secretary, used her tempura art skills to create a far-out fluid that masked > her typing errors. She masked them by battering and deep-frying them? > Liquid Paper caught on in the pre-computer age, leaving Graham wealthy. > Before she died in 1980, she set up the Gihon Foundation, named for > a river in the Bible, to help women in business. This would have never happened if Bertha Goudy had typeset the Bible. (Degree of difficulty: 9.0) > Nesmith, now 57, said the foundation doled out small grants to business > proposals and social services for a decade. But he never thought it was > enough to make a difference. > So in 1990, Gihon switched streams and began convening councils to > consider the weightiest issue of the day. All they have to do is answer > one question: > "What is the most important issue of our time?" My answer --> "What is the most important issue of our time?" You can send my million dollars to me, care of me, at my address. Unless you want me to split it with the ten million other people who gave that answer. In which case send it to them, care of me. > Five panelists from different disciplines and races are chosen > through a complex system that begins months earlier. They convene > Saturday morning at an estate in Nambe, 40 kilometers (25 miles) > north of Santa Fe. > One of this year's panelists is journalist Stanley Karnow, 75, who > won a Pulitzer Prize for his reporting on Vietnam and recently published > "Paris in the Fifties." > "I don't know what to expect," Karnow said. "I've been kicking around > the world for 50 years now, so I have some ideas about things, but I'm a > blank piece of paper here." Oh no! Call a doctor, he's covered his whole body in Liquid Paper! > The ranch house that serves as the Gihon headquarters is decorated with > works of modern women artists like Georgia O'Keeffe, Grandma Moses, Louise > Nevelson and Janet Fish. > Nesmith and partner Victoria Kennedy live nearby. He keeps as a museum > the small trailer that was his mother's backyard workshop, still stocked > with mixers, bowls and other kitchen implements used to mix the first batch > of Liquid Paper. Exactly how hard is it to invent white paint? > Nesmith said he usually begins the Council by telling the panelists > about the process, and that they must reach a consensus by noon Sunday. Wow! He tells them about the process at the BEGINNING! What a genius! > Then they are left alone. And one of them gets voted out of the house every week, and then they have to run away in fast motion as a guy in a gorilla suit chases them and Neil Diamond plays "I'm A Believer". > After dinner in Santa Fe and an evening at their hotels, the panelists, > who are paid 5,000 dollars each, return to Nambe to write a statement by > noon Sunday, when they meet with reporters. At which point all the world's problems are solved so there's no need to ever do this again. > The 2000 Council includes Karnow, poet Nikki Giovanni, physicist Murray > Gell-Mann, lawyer M. Cheriff Bassiouni and anthropologist Anna Roosevelt. > The 1998 council, made up of actress Jane Alexander, physicist Ana Maria > Ceto, astronomer Stephen Jay Gould, editor Robert Kaplan and scholar Jessica > Tuchman Mathews, emphasized rapid changes in the world. > "The information and communications revolution erases distance. More than > ever before, we are truly stuck with each other," the 1998 statement said. I can see why it took a panel of a dozen scientists and deep thinkers and an actress to come up with as profound and original an idea as "People can use the Internet to talk to people who aren't in the same room." > Nesmith, who operates a music-oriented Website at www.videoranch.com, > said this year's statement would be carried by a live video and audio feed > at www.gihon.com. I guess he couldn't get his non-profit organization into the classy, crowded ".org" domain. > Some criticize the council as the ultimate sound bite. I declare that sentence to be the ultimate sound bite! HA! HA! I HAVE CRITICIZED IT FOR BEING SOMETHING WHICH IS POSSIBLE TO QUOTE OUT OF CONTEXT! P.S. BON MOTS SUCK! > But Nesmith says the exercise forces panelists to find common ground > on their wide-ranging ideas. > "It stimulates people on a level they're not used to," he said. > "Something happens, but I don't know exactly what it is." I heard he sleeps wearing that hat. Something's wrong with him, but I don't know exactly what it is. -- K. I still like the version of the "Monkees" theme they chant near the beginning of "Head", over the stock footage of that Vietnamese guy getting his brains blown out in close-up. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Proof that stout-hearted MEN, MEN, MEN are controlling science. Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 02:30:02 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com From the current issue of _Scientific American_: -> Psychologist Raymond Rosen of Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in -> New Brunswick, N.J., showed that healthy men can be taught to have -> erections on demand, in response to mental imagery or nonsexual cues. -> In one study, men were instructed to use their minds to arouse -> themselves in exchange for a financial reward. When they were given -> feedback on their performance via a light display, they rapidly learned -> to increase their erections -- in the absence of direct physical -> stimulation -- through the use of imagery and fantasy techniques. -> To keep their motivation high, the men earned financial bonuses that -> depended on the number and degree of erections they achieved. Then they moved on to an additional study where they got to fondle naked supermodels, and were paid millions of dollars to keep their motivation high. Then they got paid for every Dorito they ate during that movie where the Three Stooges played football. Question 1: How much IS an erection worth? These articles always leave out the most useful information! Question 2: Shouldn't it be named the _Richard_ Wood Johnson Medical School? -- K. What would this psychologist say is a "nonsexual cue"? One with too much chalk on the tip? ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.sci.physics.new-theories,alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: I can't think of a dang thing to talk about???? (Smart) Date: Thu, 27 Jul 2000 03:26:17 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Followup-To: alt.sci.physics.plutonium In alt.sci.physics.new-theories, "Smart1234" (smart1234@aol.com) wrote: > ? > > Isn't it something how one's mind goes blank, when one explains the whole > universe to others? What else is there to explain? Maybe I have to start > creating new universes, and new worlds..... . > > I think I will start with making a new atom. It doesn't spin, it doesn't > move, and it's solid, and it's sticky as heck, and nobody knows how it got > there, but me, and I won't tell anybody...... . Then I will create some > dummies, to try to figure out how it got there. & It's only sticky because Archimedes Plutonium's been fondling it............ . also, it tastes like shredded coconut.............. . . . NOT REGULAR COCONUT, SHREDDED COCONUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Also,,,,,,,,, , why do you claim that Heck is sticky?????? ????? ???? ??? ?? ? -------- - K ......... .