Newsgroups: alt.sci.physics.new-theories,alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: running around Date: Wed, 9 Aug 2000 08:36:23 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com In alt.sci.physics.new-theories, Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtstocklmeir@worldnet.att.net) wrote: > > I have been chasing girls, working on my theories and trying to create > curses. I need to keep doing those things but I thought I could write > an article. It's the law, if you don't catch any girls, you have to write an article. > Because my physics theories are more far than theories of girls and boys > when I go out with a girl it is like going out with a girl 6000 years ago. > May be there are some girls who are nice, cute, not from the earth and look > like girls from the earth. Call me. I do not know how a ufo works. I do > not have a time machine. I do not fly around the universe. But my physics > theories are good. Your logic would make my brain hurt if it were logic. > I have been using praying to God trying to create curses against people who > know any of my theories. That includes theories about God. I guess using > the laws of God some curses will be against a person who is innocent. I > guess using the laws of God some curses will not apply to some people who > are innocent. I guess using the laws of God some curses will not apply to > a person who is innocent. I will try to doom as many people as I can. > That is fair. > > I guess the physics faq still has some of my theories. If a person can not > do some little thing like change the physics faq any thing they get from > God they are suppose to get. > > God uses a curse to create justice and make things fair. God will punish > the whole group if some of the people who make up the group are dishonest. > It is worse if people do not do their small part to make things fair. > > A person who does not do their small part is guilty. > > God does not like mandatory sentences. God does not like to much > punishment to dishonest people. There are curses against people associated > with Va. and Texas because dishonest people get to much punishment. God does not like non-sequitur sentences. God likes lima beans. I have a hat. > Va. has a mandatory sentence of 5 years if a person uses a gun that is a > crime. > > There is a curse against people associated with Old Dominion University in > Norfolk Va. They hurt innocent people. Most people looked the other way. > A lot of people have been hurt, killed and destroyed. As more people are > destroyed there will be more justice. I have evidence, proof and witnesses > that can destroy the people in charge of ODU. A reporter needs to check > this story or may be they will be guilty. The curse will probably destroy > them and their family for 3 or 4 generations. > > I try not to buy things from a company that abuses animals. I try not to > buy things from Kraft and Pro. and Gamble. > > I try not to buy things from China. There are curses against people > associated with China. Floods have killed a lot of people. Some parts of > China do not get a lot of water. A lot of people have been killed because > of that. > > I tell girls I do not want to kiss any girl who has the blood of animals in > her mouth and the bodies of animals between her teeth. > > A girl is not sexy if she has the boold of animals in her mouth and the > bodies of animals between her teeth. Your head is filled with Foort Loops. -- K. May be there is a curse on people who can spell "maybe". ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.sci.physics.new-theories,alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: slime Date: Wed, 9 Aug 2000 08:41:32 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com In alt.sci.physics.new-theories, Kurt Stocklmeir (kurtstocklmeir@worldnet.att.net) wrote: > > I can not stand you repulsive little slimes. > > It is good that God has created curses against people associated > with these physics groups. > > I guess I did not miss any good articles. I need to do some more things > and I guess I will not miss any good articles. You losers are messes and > you have made these physics groups messes. Some of you slime are weird > because you want a lot of attention. You do not care a lot about what > people say to you if you get attention. Spend less time on the internet > and talk to people around you. > > People who insult people with out a good reason are slime. People who talk > to slime are slime. We love you too, Kurt. You need a hug. >>>-----> ***MEGA-HUG*** :-) with Internet Squeezies!!!!!:-)!!!!:-)!!!!!WUV -- K. I still want to know how Kurt feels about slemons and soranges. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: The terrifying future face of computing. Date: Wed, 9 Aug 2000 22:00:18 GMT Organization: welcome datacomp [concerning a freaky "computer" for kids, seen at J.C. Penney's Web site:] http://www.littletikes.com/jcpenney/products.asp?sku=653-0550 I (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > The most terrifying computer ever to invade your home is now on sale > at J. C. Penny. It's an inside-out iMac that ENGULFS CHILDREN like > a white blood cell eating Donald Pleasence! I forwarded the catalog listing for this monstrosity around the office, in hopes that it would inspire management to replace the tech-support group's workstations with these in order to reduce downtime as well as funtime. By E-mail, Doug Sweetser (doug@world.std.com) replied (and I have his permission to share his response with you:) -> -> Rip the kids off! -> -> The little people get a little screen, 13.2". How are they going to -> enjoy the porn sites? Oh, that's right, they are not suppose to. Bet -> it comes with Net Leather Nanny (she has the BEST boots). But the gummikrankenschwester model's better 'cause she's waterproof. -> I like the security feature, that the cabinet can be locked. Wish I -> could have one of those for my mind. Doubt they will load Debian -> Linux since this is to promote the transfer of dependence from mother -> to IBM. "Our toddler just said his first full sentence! While using the potty, he yelled 'IBM!'" -> Have they really tested the self-contained hardware and wiring with -> real 3-year-olds? How does a Intel 466mhz (Celeron) processor -> immersed in apple juice? Didn't Andre Serrano do that already? -> Thank goodness I don't have to give tech support to a PC Pal who -> cannot get the Barney DVD in the Internal CD ROM (32x max.) because -> it doesn't have a stinking DVD player so go take some quiet time or -> I'll put you on a mailing list that will send pictures everyday -> that will get your parents to lock the cabinet for good. -> Go explore yourself and leave the Internet alone. I think the real purpose of the lock is so that you can lock the kid _in_ with the computer. "LEARN TO PROGRAM IN JAVASCRIPT OR YOU'LL NEVER GET INTO THE BEST DAY-CARE CENTER AND/OR SWEATSHOP!" It's like that TV documentary series, "Small Wonder", where the brainy dad built a little robot daughter that he treated just like a real little girl, and locked her in the closet every night because children aren't allowed to sleep in actual beds if they're superintelligent robots in little party dresses. I predict someone will base a similar TV sitcom for kids on this scary computer for kids. It'll be called something like "My Pal Beepy" in which some little boy with bleached-blond hair will solve nonviolent murder mysteries by towing one of these computers around town on his extra-large little red wagon. And at the end of every episode the parents will put the dust cover over the computer after locking him inside. -> Anyway, I don't have much faith in the business model. I just want to know what happens when the thing breaks and has to be mailed back to the factory for repairs. It must weigh as much as the average jungle gym plus a TV set. -- K. Don't forget to save the original packing materials, so the kids can turn the five-foot-wide box into a fort which they'll enjoy a lot more than the stupid computer. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: The terrifying future face of computing. Date: Wed, 9 Aug 2000 22:54:16 GMT Organization: welcome datacomp "inpheaux skifyre" (inpheaux@skizzers.org) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > [...stuff about an icky kids' computer, for icky kids...] > > > > I wonder what the software bundle includes. "ChexQuest Limited Edition"? > > noo! not ChexQuest! ChexQuest was the coolest game ever! > > it replaced the chainsaw with a giant electric spoon! you ran around as a > guy made out of cereal, and killed things with a giant spoon! > > i really want to find this game again. it's on my list of wacky games > to track down, right after "kool-aid rom, for a 2600 emulator that actually > wants to work on my computer". ChexQuest II was better. Yes, there was a ChexQuest II. (These were games that were made by changing the graphics in Doom and then putting the CDs in cereal boxes. They were really easy.) I recall that the giant spinning spoon was "a power bootspork". (I went on about ChexQuest for several pages back in 1997 and 1998, and will avoid repeating it here because I don't have time to look up what I wrote because I'm busy not buying those new boxes of Apple-Cinnamon Cheerios which contain an *InTeRaCtIvE* Lego CD.) As far as lame ad-oriented Atari cartridges go, be sure to also collect "Chase The Chuckwagon" (with the world's lamest "bonus" level) and "Coke Wins", which is a version of Space Invaders which is impossible to lose, so that at the end it flashes "COKE WINS". > > I've been assuming it's just a plain old off-the-shelf IBM Aptiva > > consumer PC, with a big colorful plastic shell around the normal > > beige plastic shell. > > i found it somewhat funny that you dont just put the main tower in the > happy little enclosure behind the main giant evil-smelling plastic thing. It smells evil! It smells worse than Hitler! But that's okay, kids like stinky things. Have you ever smelt gummi worms? NOTE: DO NOT INSERT GUMMI WORMS INTO NOSE FOR PURPOSE OF SMELLING. INSERT INTO NOSE FOR OTHER PURPOSES ONLY. > you first strap it in, then you stuff all the assorted cables in, then you > find a way to get the speakers into this rather tiny space [i went with > duct tape], and then make sure that you actually left room to get the power > cords out. > > one of the saddest features of it was that it has locks. two of them. one > for each side of the enclosure where the computer hides. the bad thing > about this, is that if i had a popsicle stick, i probably could've opened > them. i would've tested this, but alas, there were no popsicles in the area. I bet an even sadder feature is that 90% of the calls to tech support are from stupid parents who can't figure out how to unlock the thing after the kid locked the keys inside by using a popsicle stick. > > [...] With THIS thing, there's no way anyone over the age of > > four would be willing to use it, and it's too big to flush down the > > toilet, so how would you get rid of this $2000 toddler toy? > > you use a popsicle stick to open the maximum security prison that is the > computer enclosure, and then take the computer out, reformat the hard > drive, and give it to your child as a brand! new! toy! this will most > likely work, since your child has never seen the actual computer before > [and will probably be scared due to it's lack of plastic]. > > this, however, will not work if an attempt to overclock the celeron > resulted in a small fire, thusly melting 90% of the plastic.. thing.. onto > the aptiva's case. if this occurs, sell it as modern art, and hopefully > make back some of the $2000. "Hey! That computer's all melted-looking!" "Yeah, must be something Apple designed." > > J.C. Penney wants so bad to be the ONLY place where you can get > > that special J.C. Penny combo pack of that computer desk and accessories. > > at least it wont be the only not-remotely-computer-related store selling > computer-like-products. > > i was watching the 5am news [which has become my very own replacement for > the 11 o'clock news] and they said theres going to be a brand new amazing > computer-like-product hitting the shelves soon. its called "global pc" and > apparently they feel like using tampa [here] as a test market [note to > developers: use tampa as a test market for *GOOD* products and/or services, > *NOT* icky-lame products and/or services. EX: roadrunner cable service test > market == GOOD. global pc test market == BAD. that is all. learn from > *CORRECT DECISIONS* - *NOT* from mistakes] for this wonderful product. > essentially, it looks like they took one of the old square-ish compaq bite- > size presario cases, and spray painted them black. from there, they hard > coded [read: installed] a custom operating system that looks like it was > ripped off from windows 3.x, and gave it a/v hookups in the back so it can > be connected to a television. > > according to the guy on the tee vee [who i think was trying to claim he > built all of them by himself in his garage], one of the main selling points > is that when you hit the big button labeled "ON" it turns on. and when you > hit the big button labled "OFF" it turns off. It has an on/off switch? How quaint. It should just use its massive artificial intelligence thinker brain to turn itself on when it predicts that you want to use it. In other words, it should be continuously on for the first 24 hours, and then it should switch itself off forever. > where will this product be hitting the shelves? > k-mart and possibly target The big question is, will it also smell bad? And in K-Mart, would anyone notice? -- K. I once had a computer where I had spilled an entire jar of black enamel model paint into the ventilation slots on top. It still worked, but it smelled funny, and the F5 key didn't go up or down. But who needs F5? ////// re-run /// re-run /// re-run /// re-run /// re-run /// re-run ////// From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Technical support quote of the day... Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.tech-support.recovery Date: Sat, 07 Aug 1999 03:16:13 -0400 From a well-known computer maker's online knowledge base: > > In some cases, an unusual odor may be detected when a product has been > turned on and allowed to warm up to operating temperature. Translation: Joe dropped part of his cheese sandwich while the computers were whizzing past on the assembly line. > Typically, the odor is detected when the product is new, Translation: You'd have to be pretty freakin' stupid to only notice it after you've had the smelly computer for six months. > similar to odors generated from new carpeting or a new car. In most cases > the odor will dissipate over a short period of time. Translation: In most, BUT NOT ALL cases, the odor will dissipate over a short period of time. Relative to the age of the universe. > If the odor persists, we recommend that you place the unit in a > well-ventilated room Translation: PUT THE THING SOMEWHERE WHERE YOU WON'T SMELL IT, YOU BOZO! > and allow the unit to operate over an extended period of time (possibly > 24-72 hours) or until the odor dissipates. If the odor persists, contact > your local Service Provider for an evaluation. "Hi, this is tech support, how many I help you?" "My new computer smells like THIS--" (holds computer up to phone) > This article is not tied to any specific product, nor is it in reaction to > any specific issue. Translation: We'd like you to believe we wrote this article by accident and not in response to a complaint that our computers smell like cheese. Also, not many of our computers smell like cheese. > This article is meant only to serve as general information. Translation: The Psychic Friends Network is for entertainment purposes only. $3.99 per minute. Tech support is provided by The Psychic Friends Network. -- K. That's what they get for naming this year's models "Blueberry", "Grape", "Tangerine", and "Rotting Flesh". //// end of re-run /// end of re-run /// end of re-run /// end of re-run ///// ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: fruit stand Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 22:59:45 GMT Organization: welcome datacomp Mark Hill (mhill@epicentre.net) wrote: > > [...] FROOMB! Super-Twisty Delux-O-Tronical Chimp-Enhanced Kontext-Away eats context for breakfast, leaving this! > By the way, the durian is finally gone. That would make a great political cartoon if only Manuel Noriega had been President of the United States until last week and if he looked like a durian and not a pineapple. And if it had been a cartoon. > [...] SQUINK! Quasi-Meta-Ortho-Hyper-Bucky Unimpeachable New Liverwort-Flavored Kontext-Away conveniently returns to the store from which it was purchased and mails you its own refund! -- K. Now if only I could figure out a way to remove all those "[...]" symbols from other people's articles. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Baffled Cones Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 23:19:04 GMT Organization: welcome datacomp "Paradigm Lost" (koshsez2@hotmail.com) wrote: > > > > > > > > > > Did you know that Sedimentologists sample the flux rate of > > > > > sedimentation with Baffled Cones? And now, a brief impression. "GEEEEEED EEEEEEVING EVEWYONE! IT'S A DOUBLE OMEGA! THIS SEDIMENT IS FLUXING! IIIIIIT'S FLUXXXXXIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG! NIIIIICE LAAAAAAADYYYYYY!" -- Al Karprielian as a sedimentologist Sorry. I apologize if you don't know who Al Karprielian is. I apologize even more if you do know who Al Karprielian is. I apologize if you were searching the Internet for "Al Karprielian" and found only this article because this article says "Al Karprielian" on several consecutive lines. And the "Al Karprielian"s don't even line up. I'll fix it: Sorry. I apologize if you don't know who Al Karprielian is. I apologize even more if you do know who Al Karprielian is. I apologize if you were searching the Internet for "Al Karprielian" and found only this article because this article says "Al Karprielian" on several consecutive lines. And the "Al Karprielian"s don't even line up. I also wish to apologize for mentioning Bucky Lewis, Marty Angstrom, Lloyd Lindsay-Young, and Tim Welch, because it is bad form to mention one bad local TV comedian at the same time as four wacky weathermen. (Whew! I almost slipped up and called Tim Welch a "meteorologist"! I would've had to issue a retraction.) "Plorkwort" (asweinbe@midway.uchicago.edu) wrote: > > > > > > > > other wonderful phrases: > > > > from civil engineering: Pore-Pressure-Probe-Piezometer; Air-Sparging. > > > > From bassoon-playing: bocal brush. > > > > from civil engineering bassoonists: air-sparging bocal brush. Andrew J. Zimolzak (zimolzak@msu.edu) wrote: > > > > > > From I don't know where (science, I think): rubber policeman World's shortest episode of "Science Fiction Theatre": (stock footage of a picture of a drawing of a flashlight beam moves through the sky, held up by a string.) DeForrest Kelley: "Where did THAT come from?" Truman Bradley: "It came from SCIENCE!" (all bow. curtain.) Plorkwort (asweinbe@midway.uchicago.edu) wrote: > > > > [concerning our friend the "rubber policeman"] > > > > yah, it's a glass tube with a rubber spatula on the end. We used them to > > remove the retinas from cow eyes at the lab I quit working at last week. So the difference between a rubber policeman and a regular policeman is that the rubber policeman cruises around confiscating cow corneas, while the plain policeman pilfers pachyderm pustules. Mark Hill (mhill@epicentre.net) wrote: > > Gummipolizisten > > All phrases starting with "rubber" sound better in German. But then they don't start with "rubber". -- K. Also, "caviar" does NOT taste better in German. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Baffled Cones Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2000 23:23:26 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com David Bromage (dbromage@fang.omni.com.au) wrote: > > Mark Hill (mhill@epicentre.net) wrote: > > > > [on lab equipment with kinky names] > > > > All phrases starting with "rubber" sound better in German. > > My favourite word from The Longest Day: Gummipuppen. There's a nice FAQ at www.gummipuppen.de which explains: -> Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einer Lustmuschie und einer Puppe ? -> -> Eine Lustmuschie, wie wir sie nennen, besteht aus einem "wabbeligen" -> Gummi und sieht in jeder Hinsicht sehr naturgetreu aus. Wir bieten -> Lustmuschies, die original nach den Vorlagen berŸhmter Pornostars -> gefertigt wurden. Dies bedeutet, da§ tatsŠchlich ein Abdruck vom -> entsprechenden Star gemacht wurde. Eine Lustmuschie mu§ nicht -> aufgeblasen werden. Eine Puppe, mu§ hingegen aufgeblasen werden. I think "Lustmuschie" is an even better word. Especially when you consider that the brat on "Battlestar Galactica" was always nattering about how much he loved "mushies". (He even trained his robotic chimp in the rubber puppy suit to smell them out in the second of the two completely different scripts titled "Fire In Space".) So, if we could just nail "Battlestar Galactica" vocabulary to German sex-shop lingo, we'd have something even cooler than if Fonzie spoke Orkan. "Ayyy! Gummishazbot!" -- K. "Eine Lustmuschie mu§ nicht aufgeblasen werden." is something Jack Benny said in that movie where he played Hitler. (Then Churchill blew up Hitler's Lustmuschie.) ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Baffled Cones Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2000 23:39:48 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com [on the word "gummipuppen"] James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > There's a nice FAQ at www.gummipuppen.de which explains: > > -> Eine Lustmuschie mu§ nicht aufgeblasen werden. > -> Eine Puppe, mu§ hingegen aufgeblasen werden. Another worthwhile quote, from gummipuppen.web1000.com: -> Achtung!!! Die Puppe "Brigitte Sex Doll" (eigentlich meine aktuelle -> "Lieblingspuppe") wird vom Vertreiber (ZBF) teilweise mit neuem" -> Inhalt geliefert! Die QualitŠt dieser "neuen", aus China stammenden -> Puppe ist wesentlich schlechter als die bisherige Puppe (von TAC SHING -> aus Hong Kong)!! Man kann es erkennen ohne die Puppe aus der -> Plastik-Verpackung zu nehmen: die normalerweise aufgedruckten Schamhaare -> sind als "Tatoo-Aufkleber" in einem TŸtchen in der TŸte beigelegt. -> Au§erdem sind die Titten knochenhart und die Puppe ist "orangener". It also says the same thing in English: -> Warning! The "Brigitte Sex Doll" is currently shipped with an -> other doll inside! The original product from TAC SHING, HONG KONG -> is replaced with a doll from china with a much lower quality -> (with her boobs you can almost bring nails into the wall) -- -> If your local shop allows to look inside the box (without opening -> the plastic bag that contains the doll) you can easily find out -> what the deal is like: if there is a "hair tatoo sticker" packed -> in a tiny plastic bag inside the bag -- and the body of the doll -> is more orange then pink -- you know it is the "new" product. I'm baffled the fact that in China they think that sexy people are the color of traffic cones AND THE THREAD HAS NOW COME FULL CIRCLE! I WIN! -- K. Other people's sex toys are funny! Not mine, though. There is nothing funny about my spanking machine shaped like Ronald McDonald! ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: 'Survivor' Spin-Off May Involve Mir Date: Sat, 12 Aug 2000 06:26:50 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Attention, Kibologists from NASA -- The Associated Press reported: > > MOSCOW (AP) -- ``Survivor'' lovers, brace yourselves. The > reality-TV game show rage may climax with the winning contestant in > a similar series blasting off for a stay aboard Russia's Mir space station. BAD IDEA. VERY BAD IDEA. That's a badder idea than letting Roger Corman make a sequel to "Citizen Kane". It's a badder idea than McDonalds announcing that from now on their hamburgers will contain _live_ banana slugs. It's even a badder idea than Steve Jobs naming a new computer "iHitler". I believe I may have said something along the lines of "BAD IDEA. VERY BAD IDEA. TOTALLY COMPLETELY BADLY BAD IDEA." last time one of these vaporware press releases went around a few months ago, about a sitcom being filmed on Russia's noisy, shaky, moldy deathtrap of a space station. > Mark Burnett, producer of the wildly successful ``Survivor'' > television series, has signed an agreement with the MirCorp > investment group to develop a project at Russia's cosmonaut > training facility outside Moscow, Burnett's manager said Friday. > The show, tentatively named ``Destination Mir,'' would track > contestants as they endure rigorous training in preparation for a > trip to the 14-year-old station. Russian training specialists would > eliminate contestants who aren't up to the task, and the last one > left would win a rocket ride to Mir. "a rocket ride to Mir." Notice they didn't say "a round-trip to Mir." > Russia, too broke to keep Mir aloft, considered dumping the > space station in the ocean earlier this year, but then turned to > MirCorp for help securing commercial contracts. > Burnett's manager, Conrad Riggs, said the ``Destination Mir'' > idea has been well received by television networks, though no deals > have been signed. > ``There is extremely high interest, everybody wants it,'' Riggs > said. ``Obviously all the networks want to be in business with Mark.'' > Burnett could not be reached for comment Friday, but Riggs > predicted that both filming and airing of the show could begin by > the end of 2001. I think they should film a remake of "2001" in outer space, sometime a few months after the end of 2001. > A previous attempt by MirCorp to put a paying customer in orbit > ended in embarrassment when the candidate -- British businessman > Peter Llewelyn -- turned out not to be the multimillionaire he > claimed to be. ...but just a guy who used to appear on "The People's Court" with a bad toupee. By the way, I recently discovered what happened to cranky old Judge Wapner -- he's on a "People's Court" knockoff on the "Animal Planet" channel. The show is "Animal Court" and it's exactly like "The People's Court" except that he keeps yelling at poodles who won't shut up. Really, it's a "People's Court" knockoff which only covers cases where pets are suing other pets, with a little help from their greedy owners. > But MirCorp President Jeffrey Manber was enthusiastic about > ``Destination Mir,'' saying the show would quiet skeptics of his > Netherlands-based company. I liked it better under its original title, "Destination Moonbase Alpha". The scene where only Martin Landau can see the evil people hiding under the shower curtains but nobody will believe him because he's gone insane is great. Barbara Bain jams the flashlight^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hsuper-futuristic hypodermic needle into his neck faster than she does in any of the other episodes. > Manber said MirCorp has already gotten approval for the show > from its majority shareholder, Russia's state-owned Energia > company, which owns and runs Mir. Energia owns 60 percent of > MirCorp, while private investors own the rest. "Sorry, the half of Mir that just exploded was YOUR half!" > ``We think every person around the world will be glued to the TV > set,'' Manber said. ``We think this is going to be hotter than > 'Survivor.''' > ``Survivor'' is the hit reality-TV show that placed 16 > contestants on a desert island near the Malaysian section of Borneo > and let them vote each other out. The last one left wins $1 million. And it's a reality show because in reality people always find huge crates of money when they get shipwrecked. I mean, think about how many Thurston Howell left lying around. (He kept losing them because he was so nearsighted. Once he almost got off the island in a little "UPA" blimp but he walked right off the top of the blimp.) > Manber called Burnett ``the most respected, successful guy in > reality-TV. *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* LOOK, EVERYONE, HERE COME THE DANCING, COUGHING BEARS OF BULLSHIT! *COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH* "...the most respected, successful guy in reality TV." *COUGH* *COUGH* *PLOTZ* > He can do anything he wants for his next project.'' > The show is one of MirCorp's many plans for Mir, including an > Internet project, a film and a flow of well-heeled ``space > tourists.'' > Already, MirCorp has helped pay for a 73-day manned mission to > perform maintenance and rehabilitate the station. In 2001 it is > tentatively planning to send up its first tourist, former rocket > scientist Dennis Tito -- if Russian experts decide he's fit. > A spokesman at Energia said Russian officials would guarantee > that anyone who goes to Mir would undergo intense fitness tests. > Still, there have been questions about the safety of Mir, which > suffered an onboard fire, a near-fatal collision with a supply > module and thousands of minor breakdowns. Oh, but only a FEW thousand breakdowns out of Mir's several thousand parts. > Both Manber and Riggs said they had no doubts about the > station's reliability. > ``The mantra of MirCorp is that first off, the Mir is in far > better shape than it was three years ago,'' Manber said. ``We say > there is nothing wrong with the Mir space station that money cannot fix.'' ...after it explodes, they can just buy another one at the store! SERIOUSLY, VERY BAD IDEA. I'll certainly be watching, though, if this imaginary TV show (almost as real as those "movies" Archimedes Plutonium has made) ever gets on the air, because the idea of a game show where THE WINNER COULD BE VAPORIZED is an irresistible idea, especially if Bob Hope has a chance of winning. -- K. Or maybe they could just drop the station on him to save a little money. With the leftover cash, they could kill Ronald McDonald too! ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: 'Survivor' Spin-Off May Involve Mir Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2000 23:07:41 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com "Dag Right-square-bracket-gren" (d@c3.cx) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > Attention, Kibologists from NASA -- The Associated Press reported: > > > > > > The reality-TV game show rage may climax with the winning contestant > > > in a similar series [to "Survivor"] blasting off for a stay aboard > > > Russia's Mir space station. > > This is disappointing. I was hoping for a Survivor-like show where they > shove 15 people into Mir, and every week they vote for who gets pushed > out through the airlock. We all knew that someday there would have to be a TV show which would exploit the hip catchphrase "Space the breeding males!" But I always figured it would be on Lifetime or one of the all-gay channels, like Pax. I forget what piece of bad sci-fi "Space the breeding males!" came from. Can anyone identify the catch phrase? (Cathphrase identification is an important skill in our modern society. And if you don't like shouting meaningless catchphrases, then SIT ON IT!) > It could have lots of "real" footage of the people living there, > mainly consisting of people kicking each other in the face by mistake > because they haven't gotten any zero-g training. And they'd all break their wrists twenty times a day whenever they tried to stop themselves from crashing into the rapidly rotating wall. > And they could have all sort of competitions, like fighting for space > suits during decompression, and putting out fires in the power cables. And "Who can use the least oxygen for the next 72 hours?" I just hope nobody rips off my idea and just changes the Russian space station to a Russian nuclear submarine. > THIS is a good idea. > > > BAD IDEA. VERY BAD IDEA. That's a badder idea than letting > > Roger Corman make a sequel to "Citizen Kane". It's a badder idea > > than McDonalds announcing that from now on their hamburgers will > > contain _live_ banana slugs. It's even a badder idea than Steve Jobs > > naming a new computer "iHitler". > > Unlike MY idea, which is totatlly space-o-riffic. Your idea is Hitleriffic. -- K. SPACE THE A3 DEER! SO MUCH CATCHPHRASE IT IS ALL OVER YOU SCREEN! ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Totally serious most absolutely important question ever. Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2000 20:47:15 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | | | Does anyone here know any living person who likes the taste of Moxie? | | | | | | If so, please ask them why. | | | | | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ -- K. If you've never had Moxie, mix equal parts Listerine, Angostura bitters, and hydrogen peroxide, then try to drink it and fail miserably, then run around screaming and then scrub out the inside of your mouth with a wire-bristle brush. It's THAT bad. I just tried drinking some in Maine while standing next to the rotting carcass of a harbor seal, and I think the seal smelled better than the Moxie tasted. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.all-worlds,alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: When spam and mad science collide! Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2000 21:36:30 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Followup-To: alt.studipity In alt.religion.all-worlds, "mindmagik" (omtao@yahoo.com) advertised: > > Subject: Attract Anything With Your Mind Instantly! > > "ATTRACT ANYTHING WITH YOUR MIND INSTANTLY!" I want to attract machines which will automatically hunt down and kill people who post such stupid spam. > Learn to attract: > > Money... > Sex... > Material Possessions (Cars, Houses, Jewlery, etc.) > And much, much more... Poor Spot! He read both paragraphs of the instructions on how to attracy ANYTHING and his mental gravitational pull caused the planet Jupiter to fall on his brain! Plus everything else in the Universe. In alphabetical order. Including everything that didn't exist. > "Just learn a simple trick of the mind and open the genie in the bottle who > is just waiting to fullfill all of your wildest dreams!" What if my wildest dream is to NOT have stupid mental powers? > In just minutes, you will learn: > > * How to relax your body and contact your subconsious mind... It's called "sleeping"! Now you owe me $50. > * How to use AFFIRMATION to program your mind for to attract whatever you > wish automatically! > > * How to use a secret visualization technique to attract the object of your > desire... > > "This technique is so fool proof that a child could learn it!" > > I developed these techniques after many years of study... I see, so, a child could learn it instantly, just like you learned it after twenty years of trying to learn it. > I have eliminated all of the nonsense that you find in many areas of > spirituality, mysticism and parapsychology. Wow! Now instead of paying good money for a couple pages of crap, I can pay money for BLANK pages of crap! > "I GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT AND TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO > GAIN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND DESTINY!" I can do that right now: "GET CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND DESTINY, DAMMIT!" You owe me another $50. > Download this interesting, truthful report now! You won't regret it! > > Go to: > [URL of vanity-pressed book-for-sale elided] > > P.S. This is real. You will see results. Download now and see for > yourself! > > P.P.S. Here's a little extract from the report: > > ******************************************************************* > > ATTRACT ANYTHING WITH YOUR MIND > > You have only one mind. NO, REALLY? > However, your mind functions on two different levels. These two levels > are the conscious level and the subconscious level. Um... the SUBconscious level is BETWEEN the conscious and UNconscious levels, if you believe in Freud. I take it someone only read 2/3 of his Pysch 101 textbook. Or else they were skipped ahead to the Abnormal Psychology department. > THE CONSCIOUS LEVEL > > On the conscious level, you are aware of your present surroundings. NO, REALLY? > For example, you hear the clock ticking in the background or smell food > cooking in the kitchen. WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG! ALL MY CLOCKS ARE DIGITAL AND MY KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE TRASH, YOU BOZO! > The conscious mind is very limited though. For example, take a look at > the following numbers and try to memorize them: > > 183 799 254 13 67 7 36 1028 3 > > Simply look at the above numbers for about 30 seconds. Turn your head > away from the manual now and try to recall the numbers in order. But they're NOT in order!!! > Were you able to remember them? > > Most likely you were not! Because interested in trying I was not. Also is no try, Luke, is only do. One other there is, and many sequels lame will be. > Even if you were able to, would you remember them tomorrow? I doubt it! > The point is, the conscious mind cannot maintain information or images for > long periods of time. It is very limited! > > Now try this: Place an object in front of you (any object, i.e., a vase, > a watch, a picture, etc.) Now try concentrating only on the object before > you. Let no other thoughts enter your mind. Do this for approximately > three minutes. (It's like Scientology, but with an object.) Also, I hate to tell you this, but a picture is not an object. A picture is the DEPICTION of the object. Or do you live by eating pictures of cake? > How long did it take before another thought entered your mind? You see, > the nature of the conscious mind is to constantly change. Constantly jump > from one point to another. THE END!!! No, wait, there's more crap: > " No wonder you cannot reach your goals! You are constantly being > distracted!" > > THE SUBCONSCIOUS LEVEL > > > Now let's talk about the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is > like an unlimited storage area. It contains information about you such as > how to walk, talk, swim, jump, climb, dance, etc. When you want to walk do > you have to think about it first? Of course not! It happens automatically. > > IF WE HAD TO CONSCIOUSLY REMEMBER EVERYTHING BEFORE WE DID IT, WE WOULD NOT > BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING! Why would we NEED to do anything if we remembered it BEFORE we did it? I'm not going to bother voting because I already remember voting in 2000, 2004, 2008, and 2012! I even remember voting for the Richard and Russell Simmons ticket twice between World War III and "Star Wars: Episode XII"! > "THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS LIKE AN AUTOMATIC PILOT" Not in MY Air Force it ain't. Wake up and fly your damn plane! > Did you ever wonder why you do the things that you do? Did you ever > wonder why some people are rich and some people are poor? Did you ever > wonder why some people succeed and some people fail? Basically, the answer > lies in how one's subconscious is programmed! > > Programming of the subconscious mind begins from the day that you are > born! You are not even conscious of it actually occurring! For example, > your parents may have told you that you will never amount to anything. > Or perhaps someone may have told you that you are shy, or you cannot do this > or do that. > > IF THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND IS LED TO BELIEVE THIS INFORMATION, YOU WILL TAKE > ON THOSE EXACT TRAITS! YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOURSELF TO BE! I believe I'm not an idiot like you. > This programming of the subconscious mind goes on and on throughout our > entire lives! We are programmed by what we read, what we hear and what we > see. We constantly attract situatons and conditions that correspond to what > we have stored in our subconcious. > > If you think of negative things, you will attract negative conditions. > Some people call this "bad luck." But as you will soon come to realize, > there is no such thing as bad luck. It's all in the mind! Even a Complete Breakfast? Is that in the mind? If it's in the mind, then the mind isn't in the Complete Breakfast, and therefore the breakfast is never complete, and your theory has just been disproven by every commercial which shows a kid enjoying a healthy bowl of Froot Loops as part of a Complete Breakfast! > THE SUBCONCIOUS IS LIKE A POWERFUL MAGNET. IT ATTRACTS THINGS ON THE > PHYSICAL LEVEL THAT MATCH THE IMAGES AND BELIEFS THAT IT HAS STORED! Then why isn't a naked Marina Sirtis attracted to every nerd on the Internet? > What we fail to realize is that we can erase those negative programs that > stop us from reaching our full potential! The subconscious mind can be > programmed much like a computer. We can program it so that we can perform > better in sports, feel better, break bad habits, etc. > > THERE IS REALLY NO LIMIT TO WHAT WE CAN PROGRAM THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND FOR! > THE SKY IS THE LIMIT! AIM HIGH WITH THE U.S. INSANE AIR FORCE!!! > We can master our own destiny! Wimp. I've already mastered other people's destiny. > Go to: > [URL elided again] So are you still stationed at that U.S. airbase in Germany? Or did they decide you were too nutty to be in Germany? -- K. I want to learn to attract anything with my butt. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.philosophy.debate,alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: "Dumbded Down" scientific model of God Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2000 21:48:32 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Followup-To: alt.sci.physics.plutonium In alt.philosophy.debate, George Hammond (ghammond@mediaone.net) wrote: > > Subject: "Dumbded Down" scientific model of God Cubey, if anyone's going to dumb down science, you're the best qualified. BY THE WAY, IN CASE YOU CAN'DT TELL, I JUST CALLED YOU DUMBD, YOU BOZDO. > Mycos wrote: > > > > George, Can't you at least give us a "dumbed down" sketchy outline of > > God. No, I didn't mean a stickman or something but, well, you know > > what I mean. > > OK, Mycos... I'm trusting you here... you sound like a sincere > intelligent person who is actually interested.. rather than an > argumentative kook... so I'll respond to your request. > Of course there is a simple or "dumbded down.. stick model" > type explanation of this theory.. but only an intelligent, > constructive person can benefit from it.. it's not going to work > in a crowd of hecklers, which is what I'm up against generally. I like how you were careful to show off your new spelling of "dumbed down" TWICE even after Mycos demonstrated how it's spelled by sane people. > [...skipping some blather...] > > OK, what are these two curves? The "Secular Trend" is the well known > increase in human height, weight, strength, brain growth, intelligence, > etc. that has been documented over the past 100 years. You forgot age. A lot of people got older over the past 100 years. > Legend has it that it was first discovered when people noticed in museums > that no modern man could fit into a Mediaeval suit of armor, because we > are too big. So they were all shorter than Billy Barty? > [...] > > Now, as far as "God" is concerned... the important thing about curve > 2 is that it shows clearly that NO ONE'S BRAIN IS FULLY GROWN...!!! Actually, yours is OVERgrown. Have you considered mowing the crabgrass? > [...] > > How does it cause God? That's simple. If 15% of your brain is > missing.. obviously you can only "see" 85% of REALITY. That's assuming that there's only 100% of reality! MY theory says that we see 100% of reality but that's only A THIRD of it! God lives in the other 200%, which smells like bacon. NOBODY WITHOUT A TRIPLE-SIZE CUBICAL BRAIN CAN TRULY SMELL BACON! > [...] > > As you can see, this discovery proves that "God is real" and that > "God is a definite measurable physical force" and it also proves that > the philosophical notion that "God is an idea" is absolutely provably > flat out WRONG. Maybe you should just cut to the chase and prove that there's no such thing as wrongness and then people would stop making fun of your bozo ideas, or better yet, prove there's no such thing as ideas and then you'd be able to say, "Ha ha! You're trying to make fun of my stupid ideas even though my stupid ideas don't exist!" -- K. If you have trouble understanding the parts where I insinuated that you were dumb I can go back and repost this with more D's. Idf you have troudble underdstanding the pardts where I insinuadted thadt you were dumbd I can go badck and repodst thids width modre D's.d ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: royalty Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 00:05:47 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Mark Hill (mhill@epicentre.net) wrote: > > Just who exactly is the King of Nectarines, and why is he putting little > numbered stickers all over my fruit? Apricot Asparagusium, The King Of Nectarines And Jujubes But Not The Candy Kind, is touring the country leaving little stickers wherever he goes, and also on nectarines. The King Of Nectarines is married to Queen Nectarine who only got the job because her name rhymed, at least once she learned how to pronounce "Nectarine" correctly, because before they she pronounced "nectarine" so it rhymed with "urine" and nobody likes fruit to rhyme with that. The King Of Nectarines is a sort of modern-day Johnny Appleseed, only instead of making trees sprout in the middle of your lawn to ruin it forever he just puts stickers on other people's fruit, and the stickers are stuck on with a horse-derived glue that tastes horsier than most other glues. As to the reason the stickers are numbered, this is because some people like to eat their fruit in the correct order. Next question? -- K. I forgot to work the word "phloem" into this article, so I'll just mention that it rhymes with "meow" spelled backwards. Write that down! ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Windows boot up screens at airports Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 00:21:27 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com "michael holmes" (jmichael38@nospam.earthlink.net) wrote: > > "And knowing is half the battle." (lots42@aol.com) wrote: > > > > I've heard more then a few times how airport droids expect a Windows > > bootup screen on your laptop or you ain't going nowhere. Anyone know > > of any stories where an unsuspecting Linux fan had to explain the > > reality of computers to airport people? I wanna know. > > This isn't exactly what you asked, but I was flying out of the planet > Houston once, [...] > This was the same airport (Hobby) where my hiking boots once set off > the metal detector. I turned around and said, "I think it's my boots," > and the guy said, "OK, bye." Sweet jeezoid, I have never tried to wear my boots through the metal detector without getting a thorough patting-down and an over-the-clothes pass with the Violet Wand. Sometimes they even squeeze my boots (while I'm in 'em) to make sure I don't have any tiny machine guns hidden inside my socks, although they would miss any really _soft_ tiny machine guns. They also don't let me take off my boots before going through the detector, because that would save valuable time as well as ruining all their fun. (Most airport guards took the job because they like touching people all over, and especially squeezing their feet.) I still haven't told you guys what happened to me trying to go through customs in Toronto, but that'll get posted sometime. As far as computers go, the only time I've had to actually show them that my computer is a computer and not a very expensive bomb (although in the case of certain Powerbooks that's a moot point) was going into the Department Of State's regional office. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to leave any interesting pictures on the screen before I put the computer to sleep on the way over, so they just looked at my plain white windows on a light blue background and waved me through. I really want to go back with an extreme closeup of Ronald McDonald's face with blood dripping from his fangs, or something, to see the reaction. -- K. Or maybe I'll let Mike O. want to do that instead. It's not like it matters which one of us doesn't actually go through with it. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Windows boot up screens at airports Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 00:29:06 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Matt McIrvin (mmcirvin@world.std.com) wrote: > > Richard E. Nickle (rick@trystero.com) wrote: > > > > In fact, the SECURITY ALERT at all of the airports in the United States > > seems to use the mouldering pretext of the DANGEROUS SITUATION AT LAGOS > > NIGERIA in order to maintain a martial atmosphere at the airports so > > that fascist behavior is tolerable from anybody in a uniform, including > > baggage handlers and possibly organ grinders. > > The last time I was in the Boise airport, the woman at the security > checkpoint kept telling me to stop dumping all of my metallic possessions > into the little box because it was a waste of my time. "You don't have to > do that HERE!" > > I was used to the situation at Boston, where about half the time I can't > even get through the detector that way, because of my belt buckle. Well, yeah. This is because they know that all people with huge belt buckles are dangerous inbred cracker hicks who go around stereotyping people! > But even in Boise, they keep swabbing my bag. I think they do that > everywhere in the US now. Matt gets his bag swabbed on every streetcorner. > "ATTENTION IN THE TERMINAL. ATTENTION IN THE TERMINAL. > A NEWSPAPER HAS BEEN LEFT AT THE SECURITY CHECKPOINT." > > - Actual announcement that I have heard at the Boise > airport on TWO separate occasions. I wonder what they would have said if it had been _USA Today_ instead of a newspaper. -- K. Also, why does _The Christian Science Monitor_ still have a reputation for being a real newspaper? It's three pages of super-sketchy TV news-style headlines, plus one page about how you can tell Jesus to make your severed arm grow back. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Judge Issues Prison Cell Key Order Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 01:02:52 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com The Associated Press reported: > > SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Lawyers for a woman who tried to > assassinate President Gerald Ford in 1975 persuaded a federal judge > to block a prison warden from taking away inmates' cell keys. > The Federal Correctional Institution in Dublin, the low-level > security prison where Sara Jane Moore is serving a life sentence, > is the nation's only federal women's prison that allows inmates to > lock their own cells. > Inmates are prevented from escaping by an outer perimeter, and > officials have keys to enter the cells. > Attorneys for Moore, 72, who shot at but missed President Ford, > said taking the keys away would leave her susceptible to theft and > attacks from other inmates. Yes, because if she can't lock her own door then obviously the guards won't lock it for her. Duhhhh!!! Also, why do they allow these people to have anything worth stealing to begin with? -- K. Also, is the "outer perimeter" far from either the central perimeter or the external core? ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: USDA Testing Pork Safety Program Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 01:10:11 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com For the Associated Press, Philip Brasher wrote: > > WASHINGTON (AP) -- The days of the chewy pork chop may soon be over. WAAH! > Americans for years have been overcooking pork out of fear of > trichinosis -- unaware that improved production practices virtually > have eliminated the disease-causing worm from U.S. hogs. > The Agriculture Department is now testing a program for > certifying pigs as trichinae-free that could be a model for > controlling other parasites and food-borne pathogens such as E. > coli and salmonella. > [...] > The next certification program is likely to target toxoplasma, a > parasite that cats can spread to hogs, said Gamble, the USDA > scientist. Toxoplasma is the reason pregnant women are advised not > to empty litter boxes. So, by the time the kid is born, the cat's made a nine-month-high pile of poo? THAT'S JUST GROSS! I'M GONNA WRITE TO THE INTERNET'S OWNER AND HAVE THE ASSOCIATED PRESS'S ACCOUNT SHUT OFF! > [...] > Pork should still be cooked to 160 degrees to guard against > harmful microbes, according to the government, but it does not have > to be well-done. > Pork is best when some pink is left in the center EWW! NO! CRUNCHY! CRUNCHY! THINK ABOUT THE BACON! > and will still have its natural juices at 160 degrees, according to the > pork council. What if we don't WANT "natural juices" spraying from our meat in all directions as we bite into a squishy piece of magenta meat? Properly-cooked pork should be the color of a White Castle patty and the texture of beef jerky. And the flavor of burnt pork. -- K. Bacon should shatter, not stretch. ----------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Subject: Re: Bingo huh? Date: Wed, 16 Aug 2000 01:28:16 GMT Organization: http://www.kibo.com Ted Frank (moe@Radix.Net) wrote: > > You have not seen truly scary until you have seen the "bingo minder," > which will happily play 300 cards at once for you, and signal you with > a musical tune when you win. And by playing 300 one-dollar cards, you increase your chances of winning that $200 prize! > I was recently in a federal courtroom in San Francisco, arguing against a > team of government attorneys about the appropriate federal definition of > bingo. (Yes, Virginia, there is a federal definition of bingo. See > 25 U.S.C. 2703(7)(A)(i).) I am now the nation's leading authority under > the age of 35 on the subject of federal regulation of bingo. I agree, Bingo The Ground Round Clown must be punished for his perverted actions, including that stunt he did where he cut the hole in the bottom of the basket of stale popcorn. Now you know why they put one of those baskets on each table, and why you really don't want to reach into one. -- K. At Ground Round, kids pay what they weigh... nude!