Newsgroups:   alt.religion.kibology
From:         James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject:      worrisome commercial #20001014a.
Date:         Sat, 14 Oct 2000 07:21:21 GMT
Organization: http://www.kibo.com

It's an ad for a CapitalOne Visa card, which implies that using their
brand of sixteen-digit number is less likely to have your credit card
stolen over the Internet than if you had typed a different brand of
sixteen-digit number, and how if you use another brand of sixteen-digit
number you'll be sent cheese logs against your will:

"There's a typo on your order form!  A backslash where your colon should be!"

Poor Spot!  He had a backslash where his colon should be!  He was rushed
to the hospital but died of a prolapsed backslash hanging out his asterisk.

                                     -- K.

                                        The three rules of making fun
                                        of the Internet on TV:

                                        1.) Anything is funny if you
                                            put "DOT-COM!!!" after it.

                                        2.) The word "backslash" is
                                            even funnier than "DOT-COM!!!"

                                        3.) Every Web site has a picture
                                            of the disembodied head of
                                            the guy who runs it at top left.
                                            And he wears GLASSES!!!


-----------------------------------------------------

Newsgroups:   alt.religion.kibology
From:         James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com)
Subject:      The secret meaning of Dirty Frank.
Date:         Sat, 14 Oct 2000 09:17:35 GMT
Organization: http://www.kibo.com

Sure, everyone knows that Dirty Frank is television's most popular
wacky filthy homeless hand puppet on a minor mid-seventies TV show
produced by hippies at or around Harvard University.

But did you know that "Dirty Frank" is ALSO the title of a song by
some band I've never heard of called Pearl Jam?

From a Web page at
http://www.seattle-schindig.com/articles/true_stories/marc_mcneedy.htm :

->  Marc McNeedy's thoughts on Dirty Frank...
->
-> ÊÊÊÊÊMost people believ this song to be written about P.J.'s bus driver
->  on the red hot chili peppers tour but... I have been led to believe
->  that Dirty Frank is actually based upon the life of [name redacted]. 
->  Frank grew up in Irvington, NY and led his life sleeping on the steps
->  of the local pizzaeria, while collecting the heads of little boys and
->  girls.  I might be wrong, but I'm willing to stake my reputation on it! 
-> 
->                                                   - Marc McNeedy

Which just proves my theory,

PEOPLE TOO STUPID TO HAVE EVER HEARD OF JEFFREY DAHMER LIKE ROCK'N'ROLL TOO.

[actual lyrics of "Dirty Frank"]

<>         Dirty Frank Dahmer, he's a gourmet cook, yeah 
<>         I got a recipe for insane soup, yeah 
<>         Wanted a pass, so she relaxed... 
<>         Now the little groupie's getting chopped up in the back 
<>         I Got a cupboard full of fleshy fresh ingredients 

To sum up,

1.  Some wacky hippies got really high and accidentally made a children's
    TV show about a homeless puppet named "Dirty Frank".

2.  Pearl Jam recorded a song titled "Dirty Frank" with lyrics which
    explicity refer to him as Jeff Dahmer, through the use of the
    name "Dahmer" in the lyrics about Jeff Dahmer.

3.  Some bozo named Marc McNeedy didn't get it.

4.  Dirty Frank is on my TV right now dressed as Emperor Caligula.
    But it's okay because it's only an episode from the seventies,
    taped twenty years before he went on his murderous rampage!

You people may have no idea what I'm talking about.  That's okay.
Just remember that the next time a filthy puppet made out of rotting
foam rubber tries to teach you a lesson about nutrition, RUN AWAY!

                                    -- K.

                                       I hear he pushed all dose people
                                       into da biggest hot dog machine
                                       in da woild!