From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Some sonofabitch has my computer. Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2006 02:00:41 -0400 Well, I've been busy the past two months (such is the life of an impoverished self-employed guy -- that gives you lots of free time of one kind, but a lot less of free time of the other kind.) When last I posted (mid-July), I had mentioned that I had just bought a horribly overpriced new portable computer for my current projects. The bright side is that I had been busy enough that I hadn't yet had time to transfer all my personal files from my old computer to my new computer, so I didn't lose much when the computer was stolen tonight. Just the majorly overexpensive computer. (And my favorite black leather carrying case, and oh yeah, my passport was in it too.) The bastards will have about an hour to play around with it before the battery's drained enough that it goes to sleep, since they didn't get the charger. And once it gets fully drained, it's going to need a login password even if they do fence it to someone who buys a replacement charger. Obviously I'm never going to see my computer (or my passport) again. It sucks that I'll have to replace them, given the expense and hassle involved. I had no insurance on the computer, and I assume my debit card didn't provide any sort of theft-reimbursement protection for that purchase. At the time my laptop was snatched, a passerby was kind enough to call the campus cops (I was on the Massart campus) while I ran after (and failed to catch) the hoodlums. I gave a full report to a campus cop, who was very kind and expressed his frustration that he was not psychic enough to have prevented the crime in advance on his previous patrol through the area. Then I gave a brief report to a Boston cop, who was mainly concerned with repeatedly telling me how stupid I was for using a portable computer outdoors at night, in case I hadn't just figured that out. So, anyway, now I'm out a whole bunch of money for the computer, and a bunch of time dealing with replacing it and setting up another and re-creating my most recent work, and right now I'm upset with myself for being careless with the places and times I used my computer, and I'm mad at the three punks who pulled off the grab-and-run, and I really really want to hit someone, so it's too bad I'm not going to be having a boxing match with Uwe Boll this month. If you see three kids wearing hoodies and one's carrying a big silver computer with a lot of funny fonts installed on it, shoot them for me, will you? -- K. I have nothing to say down here. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Some sonofabitch has my computer. Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2006 02:29:33 -0400 Mark Edwards (Mark-Edwards@comcast.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > If you see three kids wearing hoodies and one's carrying a big > > silver computer with a lot of funny fonts installed on it, shoot > > them for me, will you? > > Oh fuk. > > Well, I think I ran over them with a "borrowed" steam roller. I > didn't notice the laptop until I had used a flamethrower to destroy > the evidence. I hope you at least saved one hand from each so we can fingerprint them to determine whether you rightfully brought murderous vengeance on innocent people or the right ones. But either way, you did good, because the steamthrower/flameroller combination is always a winner. The only thing better is the fleamstroller/stamelower combo, and you can only get that if you live in the middle of the Mason-Dixon Line, and nobody wants to live in a house that skinny, always walking sideways so as not to accidentally enter either half of the country. > I hope the bastards get what's coming to them. Well, if they find my saved games, they might be scarred for life when they realize how much better I am than them at every video game in the world. -- K. I mean, it's a pretty safe assumption. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Some sonofabitch has my computer. Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2006 02:19:32 -0400 I just wrote: > > The bastards will have about an hour to play around with it before > the battery's drained enough that it goes to sleep, since they > didn't get the charger. And once it gets fully drained, it's going > to need a login password even if they do fence it to someone who > buys a replacement charger. I should add that of course I know that a logon password won't deter any semi-skilled person from getting at my files if someone really is interested in the contents of my hard drive, but at least it'll prove to be enough of a nuisance to clueless thugs that they (or whoever it gets sold do) will probably just wipe the hard drive. I had set the "password hint" string on the login screen to my phone number just in case it gets eBayed to someone who wants to check whether or not they just bought a stolen computer. Fat chance of me ever getting a call from the eventual owner (except maybe "HAW HAW I STOLE YOUR COMPUTER") but I figured that was worth a try. Again, if someone tries to sell you a big laptop that wants a password for someone named "Kibo", please shoot them in the face for me. It's okay, you have my permission to kill them before I get there. (That's your reward -- all I want is the computer, you can have the joy of vigilante justice.) -- K. If this were a sitcom, I'd get the "HAW HAW I STOLE YOUR COMPUTER" call and then they'd get caught after I hit star-six-nine.