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Whee! I am investing my life savings in imaginary stock shares of NBC's "seaQuest DSV"! Remember, if enough of us buy shares, NBC will _have_ to put it back on the air with the entire original cast, including the two dead guys and that wrinkly captain who kept trying to get fired! >href="http://www.tvstocksonline.com">http://www.tvstocksonline.com
> > I'm not going to look at it until at least you validate all the HTML you shouldn't be posting to the newsgroups which you shouldn't be spamming. Amazing how it took you all that broken HTML code just to center- align your paragraphs. It's too bad there's no simpler way to do that. I guess you're just a total bozo. -- K. -- ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Today in Rhode Island, it's STAAAPLERMAAANIA! Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2006 16:38:31 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium My TV is reporting that a social studies teacher near Providence, Rhode Island stapled a kid's head. Not many further details are available (such as what size staples were involved or what precipitated this event) and I don't have time to research this right now because I have to go catch a train to... um... let's change the subject. -- K. ALSO, IT'S STILL NOT AN ISLAND!!! ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Everybody Dance! Date: Wed, 04 Oct 2006 16:36:12 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Paula (mmmtoblerone@earthlink.ent) wrote: > > [...] > > My first hip hop class is tomorrow night. Uh oh. I think we're about to get served. -- K. I CALL A BOOMERANG ZONE! ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.astro,alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: God is mad Date: Wed, 04 Oct 2006 21:51:24 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium In sci.physics and sci.astro, kurtstocklmeir@earthlink.net wrote: > > I guess > > why the earth is getting more hot > > God probably is making the temperature increase. God is not happy. Then why isn't it raining? It's supposed to rain whenever God cries! Also, it snows when he has dandruff. You don't want to know where the manna comes from. > There could be 1 more reason why the earth is getting more hot - a lot > less important than what God is doing. > > This is probably cursed. Girls and boys who are good will not talk > about this because they know they want to stay away from things that > are cursed. > > Girls and boys who are good think that it is probably true some dirt is > needed to make clouds and rain. A lot of dirt can stop clouds and rain > from being created. But on the other hand if you don't have enough dirt, you get a hole. If we took all the dirt out of the atomosphere, holes would rain down on us! > Dirt comes from a lot of things. An extreme amount from space. > Volcanos send dirt to the air. Waves of oceans send particles to the > air. People create a lot of dirt. Almost all things people do create > dirt and mix it with the air. People make things. Companies create a > lot of dirt. Burning things create dirt. Fires create dirt. Cars > create dirt - using gas to make a car move - brakes are used and > particles are created from brakes - tires are used and dirt comes from > tires getting old - cars move and throw up dirt from the ground - > planes use gas - coal and old burning creates dirt - > cutting metal creates dirt - fixing metal creates dirt - pieces of > trees and plants end up as little particles - food that people grow can > end up as little pieces sitting on the ground - kids running around > throw up dirt. Girls and boys who are good can think about what they > do that does not create dirt. So how long did it take you to learn not to poop? And how many times did you explode before you learned? > A lot of dirt is flying around the air. It is fighting against > creating clouds and rain. The more water that mixes with air - the > more hot the earth gets. As the earth gets more hot - the amount of > water that stays flying around with air increases. It is not linear. > Water mixes with the air and makes the earth more hot and as the earth > gets more hot more water mixes with the air. This can get bad a > certain amount and things go haywire - temperature jumps to an extreme > fast. All people can die. > > Rock from space - big volcano - war using fission bombs and fusion > bombs - create a lot of dirt - stop rain - increase water - increase > temperature a lot. > > Girls and boys who are good will not talk about this. Let the earth > get more hot. If it gets a certain temperature - it goes haywire - > increase temperature a lot - kill all people, animals and plants. > People are bad. That is fair. I never realized it before, but there's a slightly dark side to you. > Kurt Stocklmeir Kurt, come to the _entirely_ dark side! We're going to go contribute to the total destruction of the world by digging up some dirt and not putting it back. We're just going to put it in flower pots, and worse, kids' sandboxes! Give in to the darkness! Sincerely, Darth Shazbot. -- K. Would it save the world if we covered the dirt with 200 tons of cosmetic lava? ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.astro,alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: God is mad Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:03:16 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium In sci.physics and sci.astro, kurtstocklmeir@earthlink.net wrote: > > I guess > > I tried to use power from God to increase temperature of earth a lot Kurt, I like my pizza crispy too, but please think of the penguins! > I will have fun seeing what God does I always have fun seeing what you do. Does that make me God? Or just a cat, 'cause of that line in the Code Of Hammurabi, "A cat may look at a bozo"? > God needs to do what God wants to do Uh oh. I sense another Interrobang Cartel song writing itself. > Kurt Stocklmeir Your name has enough K's in it. Two is the correct number. More than two K's is the sign of a triple crazy person. -- K. We need to find the person on Earth with the most K's in their name and give them their own TV show. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.geo.geology,alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: ice cracking steel blocks and electricity running on the Asthenosphere boundary moving continents Re: what is the best units that describes the vibration and pulse on the top of a refrigerator as the motor is running ? Re: Followup-To: alt.sci.physics.plutonium Date: Wed, 04 Oct 2006 22:55:39 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium In sci.physics, sci.geo.geology, and sci.physics.electromag, "a_plutonium" (a_plutonium@hotmail.com) wrote: > > [...] > > I can show a model of how Continental Drift is caused by > electricity/magnetism. The model of a refrigerator top with various > pots sitting around and vibrated to move due to the motor going on and > off. > > [...] > > So what units do we use for explaining how ice cracks a steel block. Hmm... pot... crack... pot... crack... pot... Archie, I think the time has finally come when you'll get a unit named after you. You should measure your kitchen to find out how many crackpots it contains. > [...] > > Archimedes Plutonium > www.iw.net/~a_plutonium > whole entire Universe is just one big atom > where dots of the electron-dot-cloud are galaxies Yeah, whatever, sure, most of us are dots. But you're a crackdot. -- K. Still, I am enjoying hearing about your theory about you have a big stack of plate tectonics on top of your fridge. I just have a pair of chopsticks and a spork on mine. I wonder what I could prove with a spork? I'd ask you to help me with my Scientific Proof Of Grand Unified Spork, but I'm not sure whether you're allowed to have anything as sharp as a spork. Here, have a chopstick. I'll just throw the other one away. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Another reason I'm better than you. Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 00:07:52 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium I have a huge collection of movies on VHS and DVD. And none of them contains Leonardo DiCaprio! This makes me special. -- K. However, one of 'em's a musical with Allen Ludden. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Another reason I'm better than you. Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:47:45 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Chris McGonnell (smeagol01@notthisverizon.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > I have a huge collection of movies on VHS and DVD. > > > > And none of them contains Leonardo DiCaprio! > > > > This makes me special. > > It makes you KING OF THE WORLD! Oh no! This means that after the ship breaks in half, the sky will start changing between black, blue, and fluorescent purple in different shots, and sometimes my hair will a shimmery outline! I'm not sure whether "Titanic" or "Gladiator" was the most overrated movie ever, but I do know that we could settle that dispute by getting Ridley Scott and James Cameron to team up to direct "Alien vs. Aliens". -- K. I miss Stanley Kubrick. And Woody Allen. Good idea: Woody Allen in "Allen vs. Alien". ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Well, that was pretty pointless. Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 14:22:20 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium "Lots42" (lots42@gmail.com) wrote: > > Note: If any of the following makes no sense, it's either because of > unintentionally forgotten words or the fact I generally make no sense > period. But when I make a typo, it's only ever due to intentionally forgotten words, so my NEAR-PERFECT typing is not worth anyone complaining about because I meant to make my awesome typos as part of my master plan to leave words out to make things better, you big > So I woke up way early this morning with a nasty migraine. > > With the way things went, the drugs kicked in, the pain mostly went > away and my body decided it would be a real nice thing to doze on the > second recliner. So the cat deciced that two inches from my brain was > the perfect spot to try and eat her own tail repeatedly. > > I threw her off repeatedly. Someohow, in one of these cases, she > managed to knock over a big, heavy box of Pokemon cards, aka good > money. [1] [...] > > [1] Shut up, they sell at the flea market. I follow the money. In a perfect world, I would shout "WHORE!" at you now, but because you have a migraine, I'm not going to yell. You lucky bastard, you get to have migraines instead of being called a whore. All I get when I get a migraine is just that pretty 3-D sparkly snake that lives inside my eyeball. And also I haven't had any actual migraines in a few years. I did see the snake once a couple months ago, but I was able to avoid having the actual migraine. I've progressed to the point where I rarely even see the snake, let alone come close to having the full migraine, so apparently I've gotten my brain trained not to have migraines. Maybe that's 'cause I'm not a WHORE! Anyway, sorry about your migraine. Have you figured out what your triggers are, and do you get any precursors (like my glowing snake) that give you enough warning to go lie down before your vagus nerve explodes? Also, is sumatriptan any good? (It's a prescription drug sold as "Imitrex" in the U.S., it's available over the counter in the U.K. despite apparently having highly addictive recreational uses.) I've never tried sumatriptan. It only really started being a popular treatment around the time I mastered whatever form of magical noetic control I have over my migraines. If they had continued showing up a few times a year, I probably would've tried it. One theory is that you're getting migraines because I don't any more. Diseases can never be cured, they can only be caught, and when you catch one it takes it away from the person who used to have it which is why there are no monkeys any more because people evolved from them except there are still monkeys in zoos but that's okay because people evolved from wild monkeys so there are no more wild monkeys, there are only zoo monkeys because zoo animals never evolve into anything. -- K. Do kids still like Pokemon? When I was a kid, all I had were Evel Knievel action figures, and I grew up perfectly normal. I WANT A MOTORCYCLE! ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Well, that was pretty pointless. Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 15:28:18 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium "Lots42" (lots42@gmail.com) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > In a perfect world, I would shout "WHORE!" at you now, but because > > you have a migraine, I'm not going to yell. > > Yay! Thank you! > > (Psst! World! Kibo is confused between text and speech!) SHUT UP, YOU FILTHY WHORE! > > You lucky bastard, you get to have migraines instead of being > > called a whore. > > Can't it be both? I think from now on your migraine precursor hallucination should be a huge glowing thing floating in mid-air shaped like the letters W - H - O - R - E. The hyphens are optional (and pointy.) > > All I get > > when I get a migraine is just that pretty 3-D sparkly snake that > > lives inside my eyeball. And also I haven't had any actual migraines > > in a few years. I did see the snake once a couple months ago, but > > I was able to avoid having the actual migraine. I've progressed > > to the point where I rarely even see the snake, let alone come close > > to having the full migraine, so apparently I've gotten my brain > > trained not to have migraines. Maybe that's 'cause I'm not a WHORE! > > What do you -do- when you get the migraine warning signs? Eat a snack, lie down, and relax. Triggers include lack of food, lack of sleep, and unpleasant stress. (As opposed to pleasant stress, such as sports.) Migraine follows the precursor "aura" by about half an hour, and the aura follows the stressors by a few hours, so if I see the aura I have about half an hour to pacify my body chemistry, and if I know I'm under unusual stress I take a few opportunities over the next few hours to have quick mental relaxation moments. Also, all this became easier once I eliminated caffeine from my diet. Your migraines will be different in many ways (symptoms, intensity, triggers, aura, timing, etc.) but the first step in controlled them (in cases where they can be controlled) is figuring out what your triggers are. > > Anyway, sorry about your migraine. Have you figured out what your > > triggers are, and do you get any precursors (like my glowing snake) > > that give you enough warning to go lie down before your vagus nerve > > explodes? > > 'Vagus' nerve sounds dirty. That's 'cause you're a FILTHY VAGUS WHORE!!! > And yes, I've figured out the 'signs'. They are hard to explain. > They are also hard to deal with. Sometimes, I need the water right now [...] Dehydration could certainly be a trigger. Are the migraines associated with days you're working at the flea market? With any particular customers? Does Don Saklad go you your flea market? > > Also, is sumatriptan any good? (It's a prescription drug sold as > > "Imitrex" in the U.S., it's available over the counter in the U.K. > > Oh jesus lord in heaven above. Over the counter imitrex to a migraine > sufferer is like...um, being able to run a marathon to a man who needs > crutches more then he does not. So, then, it's bad? I mean, running marathons isn't fun! That's why they have to have all those police motorcycles following the runners, to keep them from escaping. And to further dehumanize them, they all have to wear giant numbers on their bodies, like a sort of large-print version of Auschwitz. They're not "people", they're "runners", like those plastic strips that hold your carpet down. Also, what's the deal with weightlifting? Real men spend their entire lives using their brains to figure out how to avoid lifting anything they don't have to! Sports are stupid, except for hockey and bowling and pinball. And certain types of chess. Maybe one of your triggers is that you're not running enough 126.2-mile Super Marathons. Or that you're not wearing paper bags for socks. Or that you don't own every burned-out light bulb in the world. You can't be sure these aren't some of your triggers if you haven't tried them! > [...] > > > Do kids still like Pokemon? When I was a kid, all I had > > were Evel Knievel action figures, and I grew up perfectly normal. > > I WANT A MOTORCYCLE! > > Kids love the HELL out of Pokemon. I love the money they give me in > exchange for the Pokemon. It pays, for example, for the food for the > fat-ass guinea pig, food for the fat ass cat, flea killing stuff and > comic books. For example, fifteen issues of Poison Elves for about > three bucks. > > Poison Elves is odd. Think 'What if Legolas killed people for money and > wasn't bi and was insane'. It rocks. Not bi... So it's just plain gay? > P.S. I get my migraines because my brain is broke. Literally. Where > other people's brains go -------- mine goes ~~~~~~~. > > In one spot. Not all over. I would love it if some Kibologist with their own MRI scanner could take some pictures for me so we could all compare the magic spots in our brains. I think I have one somewhere just above the right ear, but I've never had any pictures taken so I don't know what's in there. (Since I can see Mr. Glowing Snake expanding through my left visual field before a migraine, that's a sign that there's some early involvement near the right visual cortex -- remember, the right brain hemisphere sees out of the left eye -- and things like my prosopagnosia are also associated with a specific area close to the right visual cortex.) When I die, I want to donate my brain to the Internet. Not only is it huge (according to Nintendo Big Brain Academy -- the little blob guy says my brain weighs over 2 kilograms) but it manages to have super brain powers even though there must be a paper clip wedged in that spot on the right or something. I'm assuming it's a paper clip, 'cause it would have to be something metal to short things out enough to make the snake light up in such pretty neon colors. -- K. Does thinking about migraines give you a migraine? ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Well, that was pretty pointless. Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2006 00:12:46 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Terri (Terri@micron.net) wrote: > > Lots42 (lots42@gmail.com) wrote: > > > > James "Kibo" Parry wrote: > > > > > > Your migraines will be different [from Kibo's] in many ways > > > (symptoms, intensity, triggers, aura, timing, etc.) but the > > > first step [...] is figuring out what your triggers are. > > > > Awesome brain damage and or heat, basically. > > I geddit! Your brane is just too large for your skull! Is that why Big Brain Academy says my brain weighs over 2.0 kilograms while a normal one weighs about 1.4 kilograms? Note that Einstein's was slightly smaller than normal. STUPID EINSTEIN! > That means a team of caring kibologist humanitarians > will soon be there to help drill an opening in your head for > your brane to use as a breathing hole. > I'm not sure if Kibo would want to do the actual drilling or if he'd > prefer to be in charge of restraints. So what size diameter > does the hole in your head need to be? Hat size minus half an inch? > > [...] > > > > If I drink lots of Gatorade at the flea market and be careful, > > I usually can get through the day. > > > > Water is NOTHING when I am dehydrated. Gatorade is what my sexy body > > needs. > > Sounds like a great big clue arrow towards electrolyte imbalances. > Some of the triggers that Kibo was talking about come in foods which > contain the amino acid tyramine which can cause electrolyte imbalances > and why water doesn't quench your thirst. Tyramine doesn't bother me at all. I eat plenty of dry salami, black olives, etc., and you better believe I prefer the nuclear-strength soy sauce that's blacker than Chinese barber sweepings. Mmm, umami! There are a heck of a lot of different possibilities when it comes to migraine triggers for different people. Some people have multiple triggers, or require weird combinations of them. None of my triggers is anything which requires me to avoid any particular meat, fruit, or vegetable (though like I said, I avoid caffeine, 'cause it induces both tension and tiredness, which are two of my triggers.) _Lack_ of food is one of the triggers, but only when combined with the others. I avoid all cheeses for at least two reasons other than the tyramine. The last time I saw the floaty 3-D snake -- a few days ago, first time in about six months -- was probably idiopathic, as I had done nothing whatsoever that day which could have triggered it (it was a completely humdrum day.) Sometimes these things just happen for no reason. I still haven't named the damn snake. What's a good name for a giant hovering snake with oscillating fluorescent magenta and green zigzags? -- K. And more importantly, how do I send him to attack other people? ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Well, that was pretty pointless. Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2006 18:52:27 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium [regarding Lots42's explody head] Terri (Terri@micron.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > Terri (Terri@micron.net) wrote: > > > > > > That means a team of caring kibologist humanitarians > > > will soon be there to help drill an opening in your head for > > > your brane to use as a breathing hole. > > > I'm not sure if Kibo would want to do the actual drilling or if he'd > > > prefer to be in charge of restraints. So what size diameter > > > does the hole in your head need to be? > > > > Hat size minus half an inch? > > That may limit him to only being able to wear hats with brims. > What if he wants to wear a skull cap? Well, first he'd have to be circumcised. Either that or elected to the College Of Cardinals. One of those is easier than the other, and one of those is less painful than the other. It's a simple choice between being celibate for the rest of your life or just losing most of the nerve endings that enjoy sex. > > > Sounds like a great big clue arrow towards electrolyte imbalances. > > > Some of the triggers that Kibo was talking about come in foods which > > > contain the amino acid tyramine which can cause electrolyte imbalances > > > and why water doesn't quench your thirst. > > > > Tyramine doesn't bother me at all. I eat plenty of dry salami, > > Yum! I feel bad for those people who only eat wet salami. It's such a pain to have to fish the slices out of the swimming pool whenever you want to put some on your Ry-Krisp. > > black olives, > > Yum! Especially when coated with ground red pepper. But I'll even eat the lame soggy canned ones straight -- those are the ones soaking in some sort of oil-free motor oil. > > etc., and you better believe I prefer the nuclear-strength > > soy sauce that's blacker than Chinese barber sweepings. Mmm, umami! > > When I was a kid an uncle convinced me that the barber sweepings soy > sauce was made from the collected juice from squashed beetles. Actually, it's the shells. They throw away the insides of the cockroaches, since it's the crunchy parts from which they can extract all the chitin and keratin and Kikkoman. You might want to read up on where the red coloring in the "all-natural" candy at the health food store comes from. Depending on the shade, it's either made from beets or from beetles, but in either case it's beetlicious! > [...] > > I am eternally grateful that I do not suffer from migraines. It's bad > enough to see one of my friends going through one but what really makes me > feel bad for him is the incredibly weak and debilitated state he's in for > the first couple of days after the migraine. Those are bad ones. Mine are mild ones, completely gone after the first few hours, just like a Fox sitcom. Except not as annoying. > Also, if I had them I don't know that I could give up my beloved coffee. Then you're doomed, DOOMED, because now we know how to control you. If I ever invent a gun that gives people migraines and takes away their coffee, I'll be able to make you pay me money to stop shooting you! I suppose I could also do that with a regular gun, but that seems rather inelegant. (I haven't yet chosen my side in the Boxer Rebellion.) > > I avoid all cheeses for at least two reasons other than the tyramine. > > And I've progressed into a phase of cheese loving madness where I crave > the stinkiest, stongest smelling kind I can get such as blue, gargonzola, > etc. Jersey Toilet Cheese? Bavarian Beetle Cheese? Chuck E. Cheese after he's been dancing around in that hot costume all day? > [...] > > * Please note that for whatever reason your above quote retained it's > shape for once on my screen. Which is the only reason I am able, for > once, to reply to the question in it's pure form instead of fucking up > the formatting. What do I win? How about a new computer? I really really > need one 'cause this hard drive is on it's last legs. It sustained some > bad electrical shocks during some of those Louisiana lightning storms that > killed my modem, tv and satellite receiver. Yawn. A while ago I had a handheld camera get fried during a lightning storm, but you don't hear me bragging about how I got a REALLY COOL shock from a lightning strike across the street. Maybe that's what cured my migraines. Think we can get Lots42 to try it? Perhaps there's some two-for-one discount where we can get the moyal to stick him into an electrical outlet when circumcising him. -- K. So how come they don't do Kirlian photography any more, even though there's a Pokemon named after the mad scientist in question? ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Auras (was: Well, that was pretty pointless.) Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:55:59 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Darla Vladschyk (Darla4695@gmail.com) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > So how come they don't do Kirlian photography any more?... > > This one time? At a San Francisco Psychic Faire? I had my aura > photographed? And it was plaid. > > Seriously. But was this Kirlian (i.e. pressing your hand against a sheet of photo film and running 50,000 volts through your body to make the sparks burn the film) or just one of those even faker "aura" cameras that basically consists of a Polaroid with Vaseline on the lens? I should try making some Kirlian photos of my hand or something sometime -- I don't have a way to develop film, but I do have a reasonably dark room and 50,000 volts lying around (I keep them in Zip-Loc bags of 10,000 volts each.) So if I had access to a photo lab I'd be all set. Unfortunately, I only have access to enough equipment to make my own Frankenstein monster, which isn't nearly as much fun as being able to make some blotches on a piece of film. (I'd have to share my wardrobe with the monster, and I'd never get my big-shouldered blazer back.) My favorite thing about Kirlian photography is that, for years, a lot of people thought that it must really be showing magical invisible bio-field that use the Force to connect all the qi in the Universe with silver threads because you could cut a leaf in half and then a Kirlian photo would still show the missing part of the leaf. Turns out what happened was that the bozos who were doing this weren't cleaning the glass plate they were pressing the leaf onto (leaf on one side of the glass, film on the other) so after they took a photo of the whole leaf, when they took the photo of the half-a-leaf, there was enough moisture and oil left on the glass that the corona discharge would still flow around the edge of the old shape. This sort of high voltage discharge just loves to jump along fingerprint marks and stuff, so it's not surprising that smushing a leaf against glass would leave a leaf-shaped current path. This also explains why it would only work if you cut a living leaf and not a dried-out dead one. Actually, no, that's not my favorite thing about Kirlian photography. My very favorite thing about Kirlian photography is the existence of the idiotic movie "The Kirlian Witness", also known as "The Plants Are Watching". A murder has been committed... and the only witness... is a big leafy potted plant! DUMM DUM DUMMMMM! WITH A "B" ON THE END OF EACH OF THOSE! So they hooked the plant up to a lie detector and that way the plant showed the investigators grainy film footage of the murder. I am not making this up. This is the sort of thing people found plausible back in the Stupid Ages. Thankfully, here in the 21st century, people no longer believe in crazy made-up stuff, unless they read Wikipedia. -- K. One theory is that my aura looks like ASCII art. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: migraines (was: Well, that was pretty pointless.) Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 16:37:46 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium [on migraine triggers] "TeaLady (Mari C.)" (spressobean@yahoo.com) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > There are a heck of a lot of different possibilities when > > it comes to migraine triggers for different people. Some > > people have multiple triggers, or require weird > > combinations of them. > > Storms, stress, and a few foods and plants. (Benedictine is a > BIG trigger, as is that pretty flower called Bee Balm.) No > need for combos. LOOK OUT! IT'S THE BEE BALM BENEDICTINE BRAIN BLOWOUT!!! Sorry, alliteration is irresistible. It's a sickness too. I've never tasted Benedictine (I don't drink, except under extraordinary circumstances) and I don't even know what Bee Balm is, unless it's that stuff all "Burt's Bees" products are made from by that filthy hobo with the smushed hat and the asymmetrical beard with bugs other than bees living in it. > I get pretty dancing geometric shapes in a filmstrip, all > sorts of colors and real shiney, at the edge of vision as a > warning about 60% of the time, nothing the rest of the time > (increased crankiness, but if the stupids are happening, I > don't know that I'm cranky, too). The more vivid and sparkly > the filmstrip, the more painful the headache will be. I get > real cranky, irritable, stupid and slow all the time, have > intense pain some of the time, excruciating pain some of the > time, and no pain some of the time. Wanting to puke is > featured in all my migraines too - sometimes a momentary EWW > feeling, sometimes making me wish I could just puke my brane > out and be done with it. When the squiggles creep in from the edge of your visual field, the most commonly-used technical term for that is "fortification illusion", it shows up in some people's migraines and also for plenty of other reasons (such as all those psychedelic drugs you've been taking.) I've only ever seen it once. Normally I see the "C"-shaped snake slowly expanding out from the center of my left visual field, but once I got a convoy of yellow rickrack slowly marching in from the outside. Another shape some people see is the standard KlŸver-brand "tunnel" -- it's like "The Time Tunnel" but with better special effects and no guys hanging on strings. Very much like a "Doctor Who" title sequence only with much more energy. Basically, the whole visual field is just sensing "there's color here, but no color in particular" and "there's motion here, but no motion in any particular direction" so the brain just assumes "well, okay, so I'll call this a bunch of rainbow swirls moving out from the center." (I think the reason why undirected motion turns into stuff radiating out from the center is because we spend a lot more of our lives moving our bodies forwards than backwards.) I saw one of those time tunnels once from heatstroke, but I've never seen one from a migraine. BUT!!! YOU WILL SEE ONE NOW!!! The Scary KlŸver Vortex Of Brain-Frying Spaztacularity: http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_migraine_3color_anim_1024x768.gif I put a lot of work into drawing that last year just 'cause I like drawing Op Art, it's always a challenge to see if I can use normal artistic media to re-create the more-vivid-than-possible effects that occur when the human perceptual system is on the fritz. Note that that animation is just two frames flipping back and forth (rather spasmodically, if you don't have a fast computer) so any sense you have of it moving "outwards" or "inwards" is entirely illusory. Most people see outward motion in this image, but with some effort you can convince your brain to reverse it, or at least part of it -- I see it moving outwards, and if I try hard, I can make the central part move inwards but the edges still move outwards. It's a really powerful illusion. For those of you with slower computers, this one should go faster: Smaller, Faster KlŸver Vortex Of Psychedelic Shimmer: http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_migraine_3color_anim_512x512.gif And for those of you who just want it to hold still: Stationary KlŸver Vortex Where If You See It Moving You're Crazy: http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_migraine_gray_1024x768.gif Remember, if you see any rainbows or movement in that last one, you're completely insane, especially if you see them while turning your head and wearing thick eyeglasses. Fortunately, as I said, I've only ever seen one of those time tunnels once (heatstroke, remember) and I'm glad I'm not planning on ever having heatstroke again because nobody wants to see that stuff. If you forgot to look at the links above, go look at them now so you can understand why nobody wants to see them. If you ask nicely, I'll draw you a nice portrait of my 3-D glowing migraine snake. > Been having migraines since I was 11 or so. Mom used to tell > me I was full of shit and make me mow the grass (over an > acre's worth) and then rake it, in the hot sun, and cuss me > out for taking so long. Or go to school. Or whatever it was > I wasn't doing, or didn't want to do, 'cause of the OUCH. > > I was diagnosed about 6, maybe 8 years ago. In my 30s. The etiology seems to involve them often kicking in around puberty (much like schizophrenia) because everyone knows teenagers need even _more_ crap to deal with when they're trying to adjust to their body getting all weird and hormoney. > I don't take meds, keep forgetting to ask for them. I drink > strong coffee, eat mass quantities of aspirin, and go back to > bed. With the curtains closed, earplugs in, an eye-cover on, > and the beasts locked out of the room. (A few times I slept > UNDER the bed - much quieter, and darker, there.) That is, if > I'm not too stupid to know I have a migraine and try to do > stuff anyhow. > > Since I've been on an SSRI, the migraines have pretty much > gone bye-bye. Have had a few since, but not the usual amount, > and not so intense. YEAH ! The only SSRI I've ever been on is the one they used for most of the interiors in the movie "K-19: The Widowmaker" -- the Soviet Sub in Rhode Island. The rusty sub failed to do anything to cause or prevent migraines, which is good because last time I was on it was the day I had just gotten a concussion, and if I had gotten a migraine on top of that I would probably have pushed the buttons that launched the nuclear missiles to kill you all. > > I still haven't named the damn snake. What's a good name > > for a giant hovering snake with oscillating fluorescent > > magenta and green zigzags? > > Bob. No, because he doesn't smoke a pipe. Ask nicely and I'll draw you a picture. -- K. But be warned that looking at it may cause your head to explode. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: migraines (was: Well, that was pretty pointless.) Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 22:43:54 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Terri (Terri@micron.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > For those of you with slower computers, this one should go faster: > > > > Smaller, Faster KlŸver Vortex Of Psychedelic Shimmer: > > http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_migraine_3color_anim_512x512.gif > > Gah! Make it stop! I have a migraine now! \ / . . . . . . . . . . ... EXCELLENT. / \ Yay! You made my X plode! And it looks really cool if you're using the same screen font I am, which you're not, because this font is all mine! (Don't try it in Courier unless you want to get poked by an exploding serif.) Another way to see that magical time tunnel -- besides the obvious method involving things rhyming with "trellis dee" -- is to use a strobing ganzfeld. In layman's terms, this means a blinking light that fills your whole visual field. They sell special goggles with bright LEDs in them, and you wear them with your eyes closed so you see the diffused flash through your eyelids. Even if you're only looking at a blinking white light, you can wind up seeing the swirly kaleidoscope vortex in all sorts of pretty colors that haven't even been named by H.P. Lovecraft. The goggles also usually include a pair of Walkman headphones that make goofy "Pong" noises in your ears to make you feel sillier. Anyway, I highly recommend trying a pair of strobe goggles if you want to see the inside of your eyelids glowing in colors that the light bulbs aren't producing. What we really need is something like that for flavors. Something that would clamp onto the tongue and alternate between sweet and spicy twenty times a second so your head would explode from the flavor whiplash. Mmm, flavor whiplash... -- K. And then there was that season of "Let's Make A Deal" where people stopped coming to the studio audience because Monty Hall kept pepper-spraying them. They dropped that the same time "The Price Is Right" stopped doing "Lick Bob's Wartenberg Wheel". Only Alex Trebek does that now. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: migraines (was: Well, that was pretty pointless.) Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 18:00:51 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium "Otto Bahn" (ei@eio.com) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > LOOK OUT! IT'S THE BEE BALM BENEDICTINE BRAIN BLOWOUT!!! > > > > Sorry, alliteration is irresistible. It's a sickness too. > > Assonance is like a heart attack-ack-ack. Dear Duran Duran, Shouldn't you be on another planet, trying to have sex with Jane Fonda? Go play your keyboard that's designed to fondle Fonda and/or Batman. I'm busy trying to doodle up a picture of what my pet scary glowing radioactive migraine snake looks like so you can see an actual Bee Balm Benedictine Brain Boom, bozo. This is real life: Poor impaled cone: http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_migraine_before_480x480.jpg And this is Mr. Snakey-danger-thing: Migraine precursor: http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_migraine_snake_anim_480x480.gif It doesn't actually vibrate left/right like that, but I couldn't think of an easier way to add some shimmer and in-your-face-ness to the frontmost end. Note that because it's an animated GIF with two frames set to loop between them as fast as possible, you'll get different results in different browsers or on different computers (some cycle the frames much faster than others, and some show one of the frames longer than the other one.) The diamond wallpaper texture isn't quite right, either. In reality the texture's just a sort of "non-directional zigzag" (the diamonds were the closest I could get in a picture) and the texture is boiling and shimmering (non-directional motion, you see.) Note the dark, "burned-out" effect that follows the snake. That's an area where the brain cells have just decided to take a nap so I can't see anything there. It's not really black -- it's not really any color because that region is just a missing area in the visual field. It's a gap, not a color. Find your blind spot and you'll see what it looks like when you have a hole in your visual field. Also, the colors of the snake would be far more vivid than the fluorescent orange cone. The snake and its shadow would start out as a tiny glowing spot in the center, and slowly expand until they were out of the picture completely, and then the migraine would become very unpleasant if I hadn't already made it go away by then, which fortunately I can do because the friendly snake gives me about twenty minutes warning before the storm moves through my visual cortex into the parts of the brain that feel things in other ways. So the snake is my friend because once I see him I know to take action to avert the migraine. Anyway, the picture's pretty lame compared to the real thing, but in order to show you the real thing I'd have to drill through your skull, and only one of us would enjoy that. -- K. I still want to get one of those transcranial magnetic stimulation doohickeys that makes people see God, because that sounds like more fun than I normally have looking in a mirror. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: migraines (was: Well, that was pretty pointless.) Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 22:55:26 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Terri (Terri@micron.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > And this is Mr. Snakey-danger-thing: > > > > Migraine precursor: > > http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_migraine_snake_anim_480x480.gif > > > > It doesn't actually vibrate left/right like that, but I couldn't > > think of an easier way to add some shimmer and in-your-face-ness > > to the frontmost end. > > It reminds me of a movie scene which I can't quite place just now. > Ghostbusters? Naw. It'll come to me. In about a year. "Star Trek: The Stroboscopic Picture"? David Cronenberg's "Kaleidoscanners"? "The Wizard Of Speed And Epilepsy"? Stanley Kubrick's "Dr. Strangedgerton"? "Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid"? Okay, I admit it, I made the last one up, nobody could think anyone would want to see a movie called "Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid". > > So the snake is my friend because once I see him I know to take > > action to avert the migraine. > > Oh! I thought snake = evil. > If he's friendly then he has to have a safe name like *Mr. Rogers* > or *Harvey*. THOSE BASTARDS! No. Besides, everyone knows that Harvey changed height depending on which actor was the star of the play that year, so since Jimmy Stewart became the one everybody remembers thanks to the movie of "Harvey", this means that when Jimmy Stewart died so did Harvey. I can't name the snake after Mr. Rogers because my imaginary snake isn't a real puppet. > Does Harvey ever have any sort of facial features? I dunno. Who's Harvey? My snake doesn't have any features other than stripes and a sort of three-dimensionality like I'm looking at a "C" that's lying down. Basically, one end's thick and the other tapers away in the distance like a tail. There's not enough detail for there to be any interesting facial features on it, sort of like Leonardo DiCaprio's head. -- K. Ever notice you never see Leonardo DiCaprio and Mary-Lynn Rajskub together? I think the two of them are one person getting two paychecks. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: hairy soy sauce (again) (was: Well, that was pretty pointless.) Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2006 19:37:17 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Joseph Michael Bay (jmbay@elaine43.Stanford.EDU) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > Tyramine doesn't bother me at all. I eat plenty of dry salami, > > black olives, etc., and you better believe I prefer the nuclear-strength > > soy sauce that's blacker than Chinese barber sweepings. Mmm, umami! > > Hey, a great article: > http://www.ispub.com/ostia/index.php?xmlFilePath=journals/ijto/vol2n1/soy.xml Okay, so now we know at least one of you got at least one of my references. I'll make a note of that on my timecard so you people can adjust my pay accordingly. > -> Hair Soy Sauce: > -> A Revolting Alternative to the Conventional > > -> Alexander Tse-Yan Lee, B. H. Sci.; Dip. Prof. Counsel.; MAIPC; MACA > -> Queers Network Research > > (haw haw) I'm more worried about "Dip. Prof. Counsel." Professional Dippin' Dots Counselor? RIKER Captain, the enemy vessel is firing at us. PICARD Shields up! TROI I am sensing they would enjoy the refreshing feeling of having their lips freezer-burnt by delicious new Star Trek Dippin' Dots, available from the vending machine behind me! WORF Captain, I request permission to snap her like a twig. > -> Hong Kong China > > -> Recent reports of problem foods in Mainland China have raised > -> global concerns about the safety of Chinese food products. > -> Drawing on reliable data extracted from Chinese newspapers, > -> magazines and the Internet, > > How can you get away with saying "reliable data extracted from ... > the Internet"? And how do they extract it? Hexane? I just had a snack whose ingredients included "isolated pea protein". Think of all the labor involved in splitting open each pea pod and sending the peas to different factories just to get the protein from those isolated peas. I also recently saw something which contained "cultured dextrose on maltodextrin". I have no idea how that works. The cultured sugar on starch is found in Boston Market's refrigerated entrees, which are also filled with "mechanically separated chicken" which is all by itself a perfectly good reason to stay the hell away from them. Ah, okay, I found a page which explains that "cultured dextrose on maltodextrin" is a preservative, because it means that fermented "food grade dairy cultures" are grown on the sugar, and those bacteria eat the other bacteria you didn't want to eat while still not announcing anything about "live bacteria" or "fermented dairy" or "preservatives" on the label of the stupid Boston Market entrees. Now back to the gross soy sauce made from hair. (I might buy Newman's Own, but I would never buy Shatner's Own Soy Sauce.) > -> this report, the second in the > -> series, takes a closer look at the hair-made soy sauce, a > -> common kitchen-accessory for marinating and seasoning foods. > > The Cuisinart, the toaster oven, the hair-made soy sauce. And then the third report in the series will make you take an even closer look, until after five or six reports people are just shoving your face right into the vat of hair juice screaming "LOOK CLOSER! CLOSER!" > -> It seeks to inform the scientific and medical communities > -> regarding the potential short- and long-term epidemic > -> consequences of consuming such soy sauce. > > PEARL RIVER BRIDGE IS PEOPLE! IT'S PEOPLE!!!! Meh. You are what you eat. That's why I don't buy a lot of stuff in the seafood aisle, because I don't want to be a shrimp. Or a crab. Or a school of crappies. (That would be Fisher College.) I kid, I kid. I would never make fun of Fisher College because it's politically incorrect to zing fat chicks. But wait, Joe! You stopped mocking the article before you even got to the fabulous process flowchart! In case it goes away before everyone gets to read my article, it's mirrored here: soy sauce flowchart http://www.kibo.com/pix/2006/2006_10_soy_sauce_flowchart.jpg I heard that the cheaper soy sauces leave the condoms in, instead of filtering out half of them. "Condom" might be a typo, because elsewhere they say "cotton" when describing the photo of sweatshop workers pulling used Q-Tips out of a mountain of hair: -> Because the human hair was gathered from salon, barbershop -> and hospitals around the country, it was unhygienic and mixed -> with condom, used hospital cottons, used menstrual cycle pad, -> used syringe, etc (figure 1). Remember, kids, if you find a used maxi-pad in your soy sauce, it's fake soy sauce. Real soy sauce only has _new_ maxi-pads in it. Other highlights from the part of the article after Joe got bored and went to get some snacks: -> A quality monitoring staff also revealed that though the hair -> may not be toxic itself, it definitely consisted of bacteria -> and other micro-organisms. You know, if human hair really were 100% microbes, it would probably be easier to style it, because instead of getting slightly longer every day, it would double in size every twenty minutes. -> [...] -> -> According to the "Weekly Quality Report", the hair of unknown origin -> consists of arsenic and lead [...] Well, yeah, if you make your cheapjack soy sauce from the hair of people who eat stuff that's full of arsenic and lead, such as cheapjack soy sauce. The solution's simple: Soy sauce should just be made from the hair of people in hygeinic countries (like Canada) where they would never think of consuming something as horrible as hair-flavored soy sauce. -> [...] -> -> The Hong Kong Food Council has put in enormous efforts educating -> the public to distinguish the faked products from the real ones -> based on the characteristics (taste, smell and colour) of -> conventional soy sauce. "Is your soy sauce curly?" -- K. Now let's all have some Dippin' Dots, the only snack that permanently scars your face! "Mmm! They taste sort of almost like ice cream, so it's worth it to have to rip all the flesh off my lips!" ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Jobs Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 14:31:16 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium "Lots42" (lots42@gmail.com) wrote: > > Did you ever quit a job mainly because was seriously, dangerously > insane? > > I did. If I ever remember the guy's damned name, I'll look him up > online. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to eat a baby. Then later, "Lots42" (lots42@gmail.com) wrote: > > Fuck. > > I quit the internet. Wait, come back! Before you leave, you have to promise to give each person on the Internet $1,000 if you ever come back! It's a tradition some crazy guy invented and you're dishonoring the memory of that lying nutjob who never gave us the money he owes us! > My brain is constantly deleting -the- most important words out of a > message. > > This time it was two words. > > 'your boss' was supposed to be inserted between 'because' and 'was'. 'Cause I do a lot of editing before I post things (both for my splendid literary style and because I like the line breaks to look pretty) sometimes I will also lose a word or two. But remember, when I do it, it's on purpose just to test that the Internet still works well enough to transmit even broken sentences. If I can type something like "I the fudge in the fridge", and it comes out like I typed it, then everything's fine because of course the Internet will also be able to carry normal sentences. I make typos as a public service. Further non-destructive testing of the Internet: Douglas Hofstadter sentence no verb. Fred Flintstone no organs. > P.S. I'm not quitting the porn part of the internet. Not even if they get enough signatures on that petition they started over at the Blowjob Midgets Club? -- K. Seriously, what did you do to the Blowjob Midgets? ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.logic,alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: never able to build a model for Convection heat theory means the theory is a fake Followup-To: alt.sci.physics.plutonium Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 14:52:15 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium In sci.physics, sci.physics.electromag, sci.geo.geology, and sci.logic, "a_plutonium" (a_plutonium@hotmail.com) wrote: > > [...] > > Some say that MIT has a molasses tank Of all the theories you've ever proposed, that one's the most beautiful. Of course, some also say that I have a tar pit in my living room, but that's only because of that period where I starred in all those Shaw Brothers movies under the obviously fake name "Danny Lee". There's no truth to the rumor that I was in the movie "Oily Maniac", and I don't know how these rumors get started. I am still living in a perfectly ordinary house which is a scale replica of the real "Addams Family" house (mine's twice as big.) It has no tar pit and the basement is no longer full of molasses 'cause the Great Molasses Flood was a long time ago. Nothing in Boston is still sticky from the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, except the Green Line seats. So, to summarize, I am not the Oily Maniac, and you said that some said that MIT has a molasses tank and that would be yummy. > Archimedes Plutonium > www.iw.net/~a_plutonium > whole entire Universe is just one big atom > where dots of the electron-dot-cloud are galaxies Then which punctuation marks is the molasses made out of? It doesn't look like it's got exclamation points in it. Is there a way to make question marks gooey enough to make molasses out of them? -- K. So where do you get your information about which condiments are kept in tanks at which colleges? I heard Iowa State has an Olympic-size marmalade pool. P.S. I am still not the Oily Maniac. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.english.usage,alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: These data, those data Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:18:17 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium [concerning those delicious "extra medium" olives I would buy if they existed, which they don't] Mark Edwards (Mark-Edwards@comcast.net) wrote: > > John Schmidt (js@radix.net) wrote: > > > > UC (uraniumcommitteechairman@yahoo.com) wrote: > > > > > > I've seen "extra large" and "extra small", but I've never seen > > > "extra medium". Why? > > > > A flu epidemic tore through the carnival's workers, leaving > > many of them ill and unable to perform. The ring toss > > game was empty, as was the jittery teacup ride. The tarot booth > > remained staffed though > > - luckily enough the ringmaster had the foresight to hire > > an extra medium. > > When the Amber Alert system was set up, the wireless PDA was seen as > an extra medium, quite apart from the usual radio and television > media. In contrast, there were so few people using vinyl records for > communications that vinyl records were considered an extra small > medium. That's why it's a shame that they don't issue the Amber Alerts on vinyl. Think of how many millions of missing children could be found if records were interrupted with verbal descriptions of the pictures of missing children! Plus, that would probably be easier to dance to than the actual music that was normally on vinyl records -- good thing they invented good music after the death of vinyl, so they could have something to put on CD's. What year would you say music got good? 2002 or 2003? -- K. I kid, I kid. Music's never been good. Except maybe for that Interrobang Cartel song with the tone-deaf guy yelling "SECRET BONUS TRACK!" 500 times. I could make people listen to that one all day! ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Once again, I call for a National Apostrophe Police to check America's store's sign's Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:32:43 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium As seen on Fark.com nearly 30 seconds ago. [news.yahoo.com] -> -> Malaysia to levy fines for poor speech -> -> Thu Oct 5, 7:52 AM ET -> -> Malaysia will levy fines on those incorrectly using the national -> language, and will set up a specialized division to weed out -> offenders who mix Malay with English, news reports said Thursday. -> -> Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Rais Yatim said fines of up to -> 1,000 ringgit ($271) can be imposed on displays with any wrong or -> mutated form of Malay, the Star newspaper reported. -> -> The move was to ensure "the national language was not sidelined in -> any way," Rais said, according to The Star. -> -> Fines will be imposed after a first warning, the national news -> agency Bernama quoted Rais as saying. -> -> Most Malaysians speak Malay, also known as Bahasa Malaysia, while -> English is widely spoken but a mutated form, known as "Manglish" -- -> a mishmash of English, Malay and other local dialects is commonly -> used in the Southeast Asian nation. MANGLISH! I LOVE IT! Now if only I could tie this into today's rumors that I was the star of the movie "Oily Maniac" -- rumors which I angrily deny and if you keep saying they're true I'll slime you with black stuff -- hmm. Gee, I can't think of a way to tie "Manglish" into "Oily Maniac" unless they're both from the same obscure durian-infested country -- hey, wait, they did film "Oily Maniac" in Malaysia to play up that it was based on a true urban legend from Malaysia. So this means that they could make a sequel titled "Oily Mangler" about a guy who slimes people who use bad grammar. I'm waiting for the call! -> The government will attempt to swap commonly used English language -> words with Malay substitutes, The Star said. -> -> "It has to be admitted that a mixture of Bahasa Malaysia and -> English sometimes cannot be helped, but we hope these measures can -> arrest the decline," Rais said, according to The Star. What's Malay for "The" and "Star"? And "It" and "has" and "to" and "be" and "admitted" and "that" and "a" and "mixture" and so on? Man, those fines are piling up already. Someone's gonna get slimed. -> He said a national language unit will be set up in an attempt to -> reduce the English-Malay mix, especially at official functions. -> -> An official at Rais' ministry, speaking on condition of anonymity, -> confirmed his comments as reported. -> -> Critics have said Malaysia's decision to sideline English in favor -> of Malay is hurting its global competitiveness level and a -> downward spiral in English language standards among students. But Malaysia is still the world leader in cool firemen uniforms that feature a special antimatter camouflage pattern which looks like regular camo except it can be seen from outer space. The fluorescent red blotches represent glowing fire, and the black blotches represent the trail of terror left by the Oily Maniac, and the big pockets are for keeping durians in. I have now used up all three facts I know about Malaysia. -- K. Isn't that one of those countries where you get the death penalty if you're gay or if you don't like durians? ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Descriptivism and Prescriptivism Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:10:39 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium David DeLaney (dbd@gatekeeper.vic.com) wrote: > > [...] > > I am, however, catching a cold (which means that the rest of ARK will have > it within the week, be warned), so have just had to contain some sprayed > achoo bits. Puny Earth humans with body temperatures below one million degrees. We Space Vikings are immune to your primitive Earth influenza, also cat dander from cats less than a thousand feet tall. Space Vikings scoff at your Drixoral and your Purina and your Emergen-C and your Meow Mix. We eat giant bowls of influenza and cats for breakfast and it does not in any way impair our ability to crush planets between our toes. Also, we shot President Kennedy, because secret reports show that the only way the bullet could have hit the top of his head was if the rifle was fired from another planet. The only other plausible theory is that Kennedy shot himself, because the ride to Dallas was so incredibly boring at that slow speed. If Kennedy had been riding a Fung Wah Bus, he'd be alive today, still zipping around at 80 miles per Earth hour! Foolish humans, when will you learn everything I just made up is true? -- K. Sincerely, Space Viking King Of Terror Darth Shazbot Spokesman For Earth Satan The First. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Descriptivism and Prescriptivism Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:13:37 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium I just wrote: > > [...] > > Foolish humans, when will you learn everything I just made up is true? > > -- K. > > Sincerely, > > Space Viking King Of Terror > Darth Shazbot Spokesman For > Earth Satan The First. That part at the bottom right should now stand as legal proof that I am not the Oily Maniac, because if I admitted to being the Oily Maniac I would have said "Oily Maniac" there, and obviously nobody would be the Oily Maniac without admitting to it, right? -- K. Sincerely, PROBABLY NOT THE OILY MANIAC ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology,alt.folklore.computers,rec.pets.dogs Subject: Re: Mickey and friends Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2006 16:20:35 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium David DeLaney (dbd@gatekeeper.vic.com) wrote: > > Chris McGonnell (smeagol01@notthisverizon.net) wrote: > > > > Shelly (shelly@cat-sidh.net) wrote: > > > > > > Peter Flass (Peter_Flass@Yahoo.com) wrote: > > > > > > > > People, please watch the crosspostings! For example this > > > > thread is posted to three clearly unrelated groups, and I > > > > noticed one crosspostint to a Barbecue group! It's almost as > > > > if someone started this on purpose to generate a lot of noise. > > > > > > No way! What kind of person would do such a thing? > > > > My guess is the Kibo people. They are cursed. > > Well, when the alternatives are to be slimey sliming slimes, or to be > stuck between the teeth of boys and girls, cursed can start to look > dealable-with. How many times must I remind you people, I am not the Oily Maniac! Do I _look_ like a Malaysian tar monster that comes out of people's bathtub faucets when they're naked? I'm tired of all you people here in alt.food.barbecue falsely accusing me of being the Oily Maniac! I am not oily! -- K. You can spot a "crosspostint" because it'll be slightly off-white. And now, as a public service, so you can check the color of your screen I will now post some blank pixels: +------------------------+ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | +------------------------+ ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: My Job Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 01:03:00 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Marc Goodman (marc.goodman@comcast.net) wrote: > > I know you've all been asking yourselves, "What does > Marc Goodman do for a living?" Well, you know how > sometimes airplanes crash? I'm the guy who gets to > go in and try to reconstruct the accident from the > little bits of charred wreckage and body parts. My > job is even more complicated, because in order to > save on shipping charges, I have to request that the > people "on the ground" send me this or that specific > piece of detritus. For example, "do you see a scrap > of engine cowling anywhere? Or something that looks > like a left arm? Could you send those to me?" It > can be a real mess, sometimes. > > And now you know the OTHER SIDE of the story. So you must think the movie "Millennium" is extremely very bad, unlike the rest of us who just think it's merely very bad. But that's not the question I've been asking myself. The question I've been asking myself is, "When the Fung Wah bus explodes, how do I reconstruct the accident using Legos, bacon bits, and really cheap flash paper? And how much should I charge people to look at it once I figure out how to get the bacon bits to scream comically?" So, you should switch jobs to bus crash reconstructionist. Speaking of John Varley (author of "Air Raid", which got mangled into the bad movie "Millennium"), he's going to be selling off much of his giant collection of tiny robots on eBay. He writes good stuff, but he holds the dubious honor of having the best one of the movies made from his stories being the one they mocked on "Mystery Science Theater 3000". ("Overdrawn At The Memory Bank" was surprisingly faithful to his ahead-of-its-time story, despite its shoestring PBS budget.) It's one of the only two "MST3K" movies I consider to be enjoyable even without the help of the "MST3K" robots (the other being the exuberantly crazy "Danger: Diabolik".) Hollywood needs to make some big-budget movies of Varley's novels and short stories. Toss any of 'em to the Wachowskis or even Takashi Miike, anyone who would embrace the mindbending aspects rather than trying to pave them over. Turning Terry Gilliam loose on a remake of "Overdrawn" would shut up those wisecracking robots. Anyway, if you want to buy some non-wisecracking robots from a talented writer, he's at: http://www.varley.net/Pages/For%20Sale.htm I like the "Naughty Train" robot, because, well, naughty robot! And Marc, don't reassemble any of those planes into evil propellerheaded robots, or worse, those actors from "Millennium" with the angular makeup that makes them look like they wanted to be robots but just stopped after the cheekbone implants. Still, at least that movie makes a great trivia question: "What's the only science fiction epic to have a cameo by 'Buddy' from 'The Kids In The Hall'?" -- K. I mean other than "Brain Candy". ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: My Job Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 15:01:12 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Marc Goodman (marc.goodman@comcast.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > But that's not the question I've been asking myself. The question > > I've been asking myself is, "When the Fung Wah bus explodes, how > > do I reconstruct the accident using Legos, bacon bits, and really > > cheap flash paper? And how much should I charge people to look > > at it once I figure out how to get the bacon bits to scream comically?" > > So, you should switch jobs to bus crash reconstructionist. > > I imagine it would smell a lot like Mongolian Barbeque. Try > the veal, I'll be here all week. I miss the Mongolian restaurant in Arlington that had the deep-fried meatballs. They'd take pork meatballs, then bread them and deep-fry them, and then as the finishing touch they'd pour salt over them. Perfect. I also miss this stuff restaurants used to have called "veal". Now all you can do is buy these "veal patties" in supermarket freezer sections which are extruded ellipses of some sort of putty-like mixture of elderly cows' hearts, de-textured soy protein, and Play-Doh. I've recently been thinking (again) about the gradual narrowing of the American diet. Maybe in fifty years we'll be like five-year-olds and refuse to eat anything except plain chicken nuggets and plain noodles. For instance, barley is used in one and only one dish -- beef barley soup -- so if you made barley pilaf or turkey with barley stuffing or, horrors, chicken barley soup, people would probably run away screaming. As with tapioca, the conspiracy couldn't eliminate barley completely so they restricted it to one side dish. The conspiracy's even after our salads -- does anyone else here remember what a "radish" was? Remember when you could buy duck meat and goose meat in the supermarket, not to mention that one frozen rabbit that had been there for years? Maybe I have a distorted sample set from living in the big city, but I can't imagine rural areas having a greater selection of "weird" foods available. They'd have better-quality vegetables, though. City vegetables suck! At least a few Italian restaurants still serve veal. (I also used to get it at the only German restaurant around here, but it got turned into a store that sells designer mouse pads or something.) I have half a mind to walk around eating spinach in public just to freak people out. -- K. Oh, and can we stop with the "baby carrots" already? They're just regular carrots that have been reshaped by robots, like those dinosaurs that are really just chickenblobs. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: My Job Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2006 19:42:56 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Joseph Michael Bay (jmbay@elaine43.Stanford.EDU) wrote: > > Rich Holmes (rsholmes+usenet@mailbox.syr.edu) wrote: > > > > Christ, Kibo, what kind of third world slum city is Boston, anyway? I > > can buy duck or goose any day of the week at the local Wegmans. I > > don't, because it's freakin' expensive, but I could. > > It's expensive because they dress the ducks up and put rollerskates > on them. Around here they just dip the ducks in molten bronze and then nail their feet to the Public Garden. As for swans, swans get hollowed out so people can ride 'em like boats if they sit in the swan and pedal the swans' intestines. And you don't want to know how much helium they had to pump into that baby bear that used to be in front of FAO Schwarz. At least all that helium made it easy for them to move him to the children's hospital, but you can tell he's never enjoyed all those helium enemas from the permanently unhappy look on his face. Would it have been so hard for someone to cheer him up for two seconds before they dipped him in the molten bronze? Then there's that guy trying to ride a dodecahedron as a Hippity-Hop. That's just wrong. And bumpy. -- K. Remember when I said there were no such things as poopalopes? That's 'cause they call 'em "ducks". ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: My Job Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 16:10:56 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Rich Holmes (rsholmes+usenet@mailbox.syr.edu) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > Remember when you could buy duck meat and goose meat in the supermarket, > > not to mention that one frozen rabbit that had been there for years? > > Christ, Kibo, what kind of third world slum city is Boston, anyway? I > can buy duck or goose any day of the week at the local Wegmans. I > don't, because it's freakin' expensive, but I could. And I know you > can get duck in Houston, because when we were there for Christams in > '04 my wife went looking to buy a turkey, decided they were all too > big for the group she was cooking for, and then looked a little to the > left and, viola, duck. So we had Daffy for Christmas dinner. Geez, you're lucky you live in a part of the world where people still eat stuff. Me, if I want fresh duck, I have to go to Chinatown. (There you can even get 'em live, which I would never consider 'cause they poop so much.) Is my corner of the country the only part of the country where supermarkets are so boring yet huge? > > At least a few Italian restaurants still serve veal. > > Italian veal? How do they gesticulate in those cramped little boxes? Why do you Protestants always mock the Confession ritual? > > I have half a mind > > Me too. But mine's the half that eats. -- K. Roald Dahl should be President. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: I think they're making fun of me before I was even born. Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 01:22:24 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium AdToTheBone.com has posted scans of a classic 1961 educational book, "The Executive Coloring Book". The Executive Coloring Book http://www.adtothebone.com/tecb/theexecutivecoloringbook.html Please get out your crayons now and color all the way to the end, so you can tell me what the signature on the last page says. I think they're making fun of my signature, but I can't tell because it's a little scrawly and I'm not sure whether I've ever signed my name "Venom A. Parry". Does it say "Venom A. Parry"? If so, should I start signing things "Venom A. Parry"? And would that give me the legal right to kill people with a wet sheet of paper? (I ask merely because Tim Chmielewski appreciates it when I rub it in that my collection of Shaw Brothers movies is bigger than his, and cheaper too.) Sincerely, Venom A. Parry, Esq. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.geo.geology,alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Asthenosphere Diaphragm with acoustic energy and electrical energy from Inner & Outer Cores; what causes Continental Drift Followup-To: alt.sci.physics.plutonium Date: Fri, 06 Oct 2006 02:44:14 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium In sci.physics, sci.geo.geology, and sci.physics.electromag, "a_plutonium" (a_plutonium@hotmail.com) wrote: > > [...] > > No, no, this is sidestepping. I am not worried about penetration or > other things. Eww. Arch, your theories about line-dancing and dry humping have no place here in the serious half of the Internet on even-numbered days. > You accepted the fact that a pot or dish moves across the top of the > refrigerator. Nuh-uh. I just went into the kitchen and checked and there's still only a pair of chopsticks and a fork up there. Your theory is going to have to predict the arrangement of my kitchen goods much better if you want me to accept your new dirty-dish-based model of the Universe, let alone eat off it. > [...] > > What is the Earth-ionosphere Potential- Energy-Current? This 1500A is > some spot case sample. POOR SPOT! > [...] > > And using a Refrigerator as model, we can compute the vibrational > energy imparted to the lithosphere. Maybe you should also try using the gas inside the fridge coils to simulate global warming. You could do this by trying to breathe it for a while and see whether your body temperature increases or just drops to room temperature. > [...] > > Archimedes Plutonium > www.iw.net/~a_plutonium > whole entire Universe is just one big atom > where dots of the electron-dot-cloud are galaxies So when it rains, do the dots in the cloud turn to drops that are commas, or commas that are drops? Can your theory explain the existence of ampersands? -- K. You should try moving your dishes from the fridge to the oven so your theory can be at least half-baked. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Here, it's a nice cheap shot. Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2006 19:58:58 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium [www.news.com.au] -> -> A 13-YEAR-OLD student was failed after she refused to write an -> assignment on life in a gay community, because of her religious -> and moral beliefs. [...] -> -> The girl was among a class of 13 and 14-year-olds asked to imagine -> living as a heterosexual among a mostly homosexual colony on the -> moon as part of their health and physical education subject. I AM TIRED OF GERRY ANDERSON THRUSTING HIS AGENDA DOWN OUR THROATS!!! Kids shouldn't have to learn about "U.F.O." until they're 18. And "Space: 1999" when they're 99. "Captain Scarlet" is okay for kids, as it's completely wholesome -- there's no violence because Captain Scarlet never gets hurt when he gets blown to bits, shot, crushed, and boiled alive every week. -- K. Besides, anyone who's ever read Ray Bradbury knows that the Moon will be settled only by black people. Excuse me, I meant African-Lunarians. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Here, it's a nice cheap shot. Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:36:35 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Nick Bensema (nickb@eris.io.com) wrote: > > [...] > > Often when school assignments are trying to ram an agenda, a good > chunk of students figure it out early on. I cite as proof all > those Catholics who cite their years of Catholic school as the > reason they left the church. > > My history teacher showed us the JFK movie. My government teacher > made us recreate the Watergate hearings. Wait, you had a "history" class and a "government" class? You lucky bastard! You probably even had a "geography" class! So what part of Canada did you go to school in? All right-thinking Americans know that such things have been replaced by "social studies". The difference between "history"/"government"/ "geography" and "social studies" is that "social studies" is only a third as long as a combination of the other three, and it doesn't require any tedious memorization of dates and facts because the point of school is not to learn facts but to kill time, and most importantly, if you call it "social studies" that makes it even more okay for the teachers to tell the kids to tell their parents how to vote. You can't get away with that in something called "geography". But "social studies" could be _anything_, which is why it always turns into the teacher telling you to browbeat your parents into voting for Mondale because otherwise the country is doomed, DOOMED! Calling a course "social studies" is just an excuse to let the teachers explain how they think the world works, or should work, rather than actually trying to teach the kids what happened when and what countries are stuck to what parts of the globe. And people wonder why people who went to American public schools have such a hard time finding little features like, oh, Australia or the Pacific Ocean on the map. Why, every day, I see here on alt.religion.kibology that some of you people think Australia is between Germany and Hungary! I had one "social studies" teacher who kept telling us he _almost_ became the chairman of the Republican Party ("almost" being a synonym for "in no way could this have ever happened because I'm sure they have better candidates for the job than losers who try to impress middle school students with what a big shot they _almost_ were" and two who basically demanded that everyone would have to vote for Mondale if we didn't want to die fighting a war against Russia. After that I stopped listening to anything said by any teacher that didn't have anything ending in "y" on their door. -ology, -onomy, -metry, the "y" stands for syence. You know, like that stuff they print next to the newspaper funnies, describing how 1/12 of the people in the world will have exactly the same happy things happen to them today. -- K. And remember that teacher in Rhode Island who stapled that kid's head last week? Guess what subject she taught. Hint: It didn't end with a "y", it ended with "ocial" and "udies". ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Here, it's a nice cheap shot. Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:20:47 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium "Lots42" (lots42@gmail.com) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry wrote: > > > > [www.news.com.au] > > -> > > -> A 13-YEAR-OLD student was failed after she refused to write an > > -> assignment on life in a gay community, because of her religious > > -> and moral beliefs. [...] > > -> > > -> The girl was among a class of 13 and 14-year-olds asked to imagine > > -> living as a heterosexual among a mostly homosexual colony on the > > -> moon as part of their health and physical education subject. > > Good for her. Stupid P.C. school assignments. A little too close to home for you? So, what type of heavy boots do you have to wear up there so you don't float off into space? Do you have lead-lined Manolo Blahniks, superdense gladiator sandals, or just moon boots shaped like kitschy, campy retro "moon boots"? -- K. I'd think the homophobic teenager in question would be happy to do the assignment, 'cause she could write up a backstory about how all the icky homos got deported to the Moon just like Khan Noonian Singh... hmm... suddenly, this explains his costume in "Star Trek II", with the open shirt, oiled chest, and one glittery glove. ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: Here, it's a nice cheap shot. Date: Sat, 07 Oct 2006 22:51:36 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium Glenn Knickerbocker (NotR@bestweb.net) wrote: > > James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) wrote: > > > > -> A 13-YEAR-OLD student was failed after she refused to write an > > -> assignment on life in a gay community, because of her religious > > -> and moral beliefs. [...] > > I actually have a friend who received a failing grade on a term paper > about lesbians because, according to the religious college she was > attending, there is no such thing as a homosexual. Hmm. Does that mean her teacher finds "Will & Grace" to be super-funny or super-not-funny? After all, in her teacher's world, "Will & Grace" is about stuff more imaginary than "Yellow Submarine", and without all that devil music. I just want to know how that Grace guy became Will's boyfriend. By the way, not many people know this, but the show's actually a "Happy Days" spin-off, which is why the "Happy Days" theme song says "Goodbye Grace guy, hello blue!" > Bizarrely, another gay friend of ours, now a minister, had been > recommended for the seminary without reservation by a bishop in > the same sect. I guess he couldn't do any harm in the ministry > if he didn't exist anyway. He couldn't do any harm to the church is all the other priests are gay too because you can't hurt an imaginary gay priest. However, he could possibly harm the lay public because, if gay people are imaginary and dragons are imaginary, this means that gay people are the same as dragons and then you'd have a fire-breathing gay priest who would fly around roasting people. -- K. Uh oh, I think I just combined "Dragonheart" and "Zardoz" into one movie: "The Really Gay Version Of Dragonheart". ----------------------------------------------------- From: James "Kibo" Parry (kibo@world.std.com) Newsgroups: sci.physics,sci.geo.geology,alt.religion.kibology Subject: Re: All of plate tectonics is better explained by a spinning mantle faster than crust Re: Richards & Song report of faster spinning Inner Core; but what about the Mantle Crust Re: Followup-To: alt.sci.physics.plutonium Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:12:36 -0400 X-My-Headers-Still-Do-Not-Mention: Archimedes Plutonium In sci.physics, sci.geo.geology, and sci.physics.electromag, "a_plutonium" (a_plutonium@dtgnet.com) wrote: > > [...] > > I am debunking the entire Convection Heat theory. It never was able to > yield a scaled down working model. Whenever a physical theory cannot > scale down to a working model usually indicates it is a fake theory. > > The second huge flaw of Convection Heat is that heat would not yield our > present pattern of continent locations. A pattern of | | | Um, Archie, I hate to break it to you, but they discovered a fourth continent some years back. In fact, nowadays there are at least five if you count both South America and American America. Wake me when your theory gets up to the point of proving that you can look at a map. > [...] > > Now, let us get a plastic-like solid on a stick and let us get some > plates that mimic continents and let us spin this stick. (Perhaps some > form of cotton candy on a stick will serve as a working model). I am glad to see you have given up on your dishes-on-the-refrigerator model and gone back to your normal candy-based laboratory. I had been wondering when your discussion of plate tectonics would get around to turning into a proof that you love candy. Does your theory explain why cotton candy is always fluourescent pink except when it's sky blue? How do you explain the continued existence of blue candy? And are you now, or have you ever been, an Oompa-Loompa? > [...] > > Archimedes Plutonium > www.iw.net/~a_plutonium > whole entire Universe is just one big atom > where dots of the electron-dot-cloud are galaxies I think the dots of Morse code are galaxies and if you send Morse code with one of those old-fashioned tappity-tap keys you are squishing thousands of innocent galaxies, preventing the people in those galaxies from ever again enjoying delicious pink cotton candy. -- K. Still, at least you're smarter than George Hammond, at least when you've got this much sugar in you.